If a sub were to shave her private areas without the consent of her Dom, what do Y/you feel would be an acceptable punishment? A little more info, the sub misunderstood and thought the Dom indicated that it was fine, even though He didnt come right out and say it?
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- Thread starter ricsmis
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What's "appropriate" punishment for one couple may be ridiculous to another in any given situation. It was a misunderstanding; that doesn't sound like a punishable offense for something this mild. I'd probably go "oops, my bad. Aren't I nice and smooth now?" and all would be well.
Moral: up to the people involved.
Moral: up to the people involved.
yes, i understand that it is different for everyone involved. its just i am very knew at this. i want so badly to please Him. i feel horrible for not understanding better. 
i guess i was just hoping that someone could give me another perspective.
i guess i was just hoping that someone could give me another perspective.
ricsmis said:yes, i understand that it is different for everyone involved. its just i am very knew at this. i want so badly to please Him. i feel horrible for not understanding better.
i guess i was just hoping that someone could give me another perspective.
I firmly believe that the best way to please him would be to communicate with him, find out the level of his displeasure and what HE feels is appropriate action next, and then accept that decision. Let him do his job and then worry about yours.
Really, do you even know if he's disappointed at all? If so, do you know why? Don't run from lions if there are no lions.
snoozebutton
Keeper of the cheese.
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Well speaking as a Dom that prefers shaved I'm probably not the best person to listen too. lol However sometimes a sub punishes herself more than her Dom ever really could. I sense true remorse in your action. And it wasn't countermanding a direct order. I would talk with you about what my desires were to please me. I'm sure after a good heart to heart you will come to a understanding of his exact wishes. If you then disobey them there would be severe punishment. But your current situation is like a barber using the freedom he has and I just say cut it any ole way. If you don't ask for what you want you can't be angry with what you get. Sometimes you get a bad haircut that way. This is where the Sane part of Safe, Sane and conscentual comes into play. Hope that helps.
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Netzach
>semiotics?
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If you disobey and get punished for it, and you don't even know there's a rule, that seems less like D/s and more like being made crazy to me. Some people like to play this way, I don't.
It seems to me though, that making her grow it back in would be punishment more than enough. *grits teeth*
It seems to me though, that making her grow it back in would be punishment more than enough. *grits teeth*
Princessintrng
Really Experienced
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My 2 cents worth
It really is different for each couple and I understand that you want to please him; however, is he taking any responsibility for the misunderstanding. Communication is a 2 way street and speaking for my situation, when something happens due to a misunderstanding/miscommunication between Master and I, he doesn't punish me. We talk about why there was a miscommunication and work to fix it. He takes as much responsibility for any miscommunication as he expects me to take.
This probably doesn't answer your original question, but try talking to your Dom and find out how he wants to handle it now and in the future.
ricsmis said:yes, i understand that it is different for everyone involved. its just i am very knew at this. i want so badly to please Him. i feel horrible for not understanding better.
i guess i was just hoping that someone could give me another perspective.
It really is different for each couple and I understand that you want to please him; however, is he taking any responsibility for the misunderstanding. Communication is a 2 way street and speaking for my situation, when something happens due to a misunderstanding/miscommunication between Master and I, he doesn't punish me. We talk about why there was a miscommunication and work to fix it. He takes as much responsibility for any miscommunication as he expects me to take.
This probably doesn't answer your original question, but try talking to your Dom and find out how he wants to handle it now and in the future.
SweetDommes
Spoiling our pets
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I feel that is your responsibility as a dominant to make your wishes clear. If you can't make your wishes known and clear, you can't complain if they aren't met.
On the other hand, as a submissive, you have the responsibility to know what is expected of you, and to ask if you are unsure.
At worst, if you asked, you would be punished for not paying attention.
I would feel a punishment was neccesary for a sub that makes assumptions of what you want, if you don't desire that in a sub.
Seems to me that you've beat yourself up over this quite a bit, that may be enough for him .... you'll have to talk to him.
On the other hand, as a submissive, you have the responsibility to know what is expected of you, and to ask if you are unsure.
At worst, if you asked, you would be punished for not paying attention.
I would feel a punishment was neccesary for a sub that makes assumptions of what you want, if you don't desire that in a sub.
Seems to me that you've beat yourself up over this quite a bit, that may be enough for him .... you'll have to talk to him.
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
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You two have a game and jointly agree on the rules, including when to break rules. No one can tell you the rules. That said, and in the manner of opinion:
I don't see anything punishable; it was a misunderstanding.
OTOH, provided 'he' doesn't mindfuck with it, it's his right to punish arbitrarily [if that's in your rules], or on an ad hoc basis. I.e., "You brought out the vegetables before the main dish; that's improper service, and henceforth not allowed, but to make you remember the new rule, you are punished on this occasion."
This is not the same as inducing guilt, however. Saying, "Why didn't you know my thoughts?" "how could you be so foolish as to assume..." "don't you feel badly that you displeased me." etc.
Nor should the 'sub' imo, be saying those kinds of things to herself, should there be an arbitrary punishment.
I agree with N that that 'you should have known...' without reason, is crazy making.
Just my idiosyncratic 'take' on the matter.
J.
I don't see anything punishable; it was a misunderstanding.
OTOH, provided 'he' doesn't mindfuck with it, it's his right to punish arbitrarily [if that's in your rules], or on an ad hoc basis. I.e., "You brought out the vegetables before the main dish; that's improper service, and henceforth not allowed, but to make you remember the new rule, you are punished on this occasion."
This is not the same as inducing guilt, however. Saying, "Why didn't you know my thoughts?" "how could you be so foolish as to assume..." "don't you feel badly that you displeased me." etc.
Nor should the 'sub' imo, be saying those kinds of things to herself, should there be an arbitrary punishment.
I agree with N that that 'you should have known...' without reason, is crazy making.
Just my idiosyncratic 'take' on the matter.
J.
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