Question for the Cafe

[intothewoods]

Yes, you are being lame at the moment.

Click me. (Note the thread title in the top right hand corner.)

As long as I'm comfortable with who I am and what I do, then this sort of thing won't bother me. In the virtual world, as in the real one, I assume that some people react to me positively, others negatively, and still others just have different interests or better things to do than to pay attention to whatever I might do or say.

That's true for me, and it's true for everyone. Including you.

That is very good advice, Mr. Mohegan. Thank you.

JM gave me a talking to. And I kinda liked it. (pant pant)

 

[FurryFury]

articulated, witty poster whom I enjoy reading

Thanks for making my day!

*hug*

 

[JMohegan]

I know exactly what you mean.... I relate. I have seen so many of those threads.
I dislike the lists.. with as many as they highlight as special, none seem to realize that they do the opposite to those not included on them.

A thick skin is an important attribute on the Internet, where established social rules clearly differ from the RL norm.

No sober person, over the age of 14, gets up in the middle of an RL party and says, "Listen up, everybody! Here's a list of the people in this room that I think are cool!"

That is very good advice, Mr. Mohegan. Thank you.

JM gave me a talking to. And I kinda liked it. (pant pant)

Perv!

.

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[JMohegan]

*cough*Award acceptance speech*cough*

Oh but you DID specify "sober." My bad.

* hands Quint a bottle of Robitussin *

 

[FurryFury]

A thick skin is an important attribute on the Internet, where established social rules clearly differ from the RL norm.

No sober person, over the age of 14, gets up in the middle of an RL party and says, "Listen up, everybody! Here's a list of the people in this room that I think are cool!"


Perv!

.

OMG!

LMAO!

You are so right. I would be shocked and hating on any little bitch that did that.

Seriously.

I bet that little bitch on Kid Nation Taylor the Beauty Queen would though. She's only 11.

*skips off*

 

[FurryFury]

*cough*Award acceptance speech*cough*

Oh but you DID specify "sober." My bad.

*skips back in all wide eyed*

Wha?

Nooooo!

You didn't, you couldn't, did you?

*shock wars with curiosity*

Share more please?

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[JMohegan]

Just sayin' that the popularity contests extend into adulthood in certain situations. Looking around the room and deciding who to acknowledge with your benevolence and who to overlook and doom to obscurity.

You're right, and the award speech is a good example.

So why is the list thing generally considered to be socially acceptable in some adult situations but not others?

At an adult barbeque with 25 or 30 people in somebody's backyard, most people would not consider "Let's Make Lists of the People Here We Think Are Cool" to be a socially appropriate activity.

But at a podium in front of 300, people recite lists without anyone whispering, "How rude!" And at Lit, people make "Who's Cool" lists all the time.

Is it a numbers thing? A relative distance vs. actual face-to-face thing? Perhaps a combination of the two?

 

[BiBunny]

You're right, and the award speech is a good example.

So why is the list thing generally considered to be socially acceptable in some adult situations but not others?

At an adult barbeque with 25 or 30 people in somebody's backyard, most people would not consider "Let's Make Lists of the People Here We Think Are Cool" to be a socially appropriate activity.

But at a podium in front of 300, people recite lists without anyone whispering, "How rude!" And at Lit, people make "Who's Cool" lists all the time.

Is it a numbers thing? A relative distance vs. actual face-to-face thing? Perhaps a combination of the two?

I think it boils down to a matter of "Where is it appropriate to kiss ass in public?" But that's just my opinion.

 

[JMohegan]

I think it boils down to a matter of "Where is it appropriate to kiss ass in public?" But that's just my opinion.

Ohhh, you're bad.

 

[intothewoods]

You're right, and the award speech is a good example.

So why is the list thing generally considered to be socially acceptable in some adult situations but not others?

At an adult barbeque with 25 or 30 people in somebody's backyard, most people would not consider "Let's Make Lists of the People Here We Think Are Cool" to be a socially appropriate activity.

But at a podium in front of 300, people recite lists without anyone whispering, "How rude!" And at Lit, people make "Who's Cool" lists all the time.

Is it a numbers thing? A relative distance vs. actual face-to-face thing? Perhaps a combination of the two?

At the other board I hang out on, it's actually frowned upon. Most people there consider it kind of rude, actually. Not that I'm saying that. It was just a pout.

 

[intothewoods]

Perv!

.

Just a little.

 

[Marquis]

There are lots of social elements on Lit that I've always found hard to understand. This could be a reflection of who I am in real life too, but I can't be sure.

For one thing, I don't understand why some people feel the need to send pms, then get offended when your response is terse.

It seems to me that if we've exchanged a lot of public conversation and the potential for a more intimate friendship is readily apparent, then by all means. What I don't understand is the people who I've never responded to on the board who send me private messages for whatever reason. Why couldn't this be said publicly?

Going back to the party analogy, I liken this to someone you don't even know, and have no reason to know, pulling you off to the corner or asking you to come for a beer run with them. Honestly, it's creepy.

Also, I can't believe how personal people get when it comes to the discussions and even arguments we have on the board. I can be absolutely livid with someone in one thread, and in complete agreement with them in another. I'm not saying I lack the ability to assign the kind of importance to someone I meet through lit that would enable them to hurt my feelings, but I just don't make emotional attachments to complete and absolute strangers.

Who does?

Is that normal?

 

[HB1965]

I would ask then what does normal mean. What I do know is that you have a gift of holding yourself aloof from things that go on which I think it what's needed for any message board if you want to get out of is a source of entertainment or anonymous discussion. I've seen this before and envied it. I, on the other hand respond too easily to the sense of community. It's a given that like right at this moment that I will want to offer an opinion in hopes of helping someone.

There are lots of social elements on Lit that I've always found hard to understand. This could be a reflection of who I am in real life too, but I can't be sure.

For one thing, I don't understand why some people feel the need to send pms, then get offended when your response is terse.

It seems to me that if we've exchanged a lot of public conversation and the potential for a more intimate friendship is readily apparent, then by all means. What I don't understand is the people who I've never responded to on the board who send me private messages for whatever reason. Why couldn't this be said publicly?

Going back to the party analogy, I liken this to someone you don't even know, and have no reason to know, pulling you off to the corner or asking you to come for a beer run with them. Honestly, it's creepy.

Also, I can't believe how personal people get when it comes to the discussions and even arguments we have on the board. I can be absolutely livid with someone in one thread, and in complete agreement with them in another. I'm not saying I lack the ability to assign the kind of importance to someone I meet through lit that would enable them to hurt my feelings, but I just don't make emotional attachments to complete and absolute strangers.

Who does?

Is that normal?

 

[Marquis]

I would ask then what does normal mean. What I do know is that you have a gift of holding yourself aloof from things that go on which I think it what's needed for any message board if you want to get out of is a source of entertainment or anonymous discussion. I've seen this before and envied it. I, on the other hand respond to easily to the sense of community. It's a given that like right at this moment that I will want to offer an opinion in hopes of helping someone.

I don't think I'm trying to hold myself aloof.

I got a bitch that crawls up the wall if she doesn't get hard dick on the daily.

I got bills with way too many digits before the decimal point.

I got a family that brings me more drama than a Mexican soap opera.

I gotta make time to stay in shape, eat healthy, go to work and attend the occasional nighttime soiree.

There's just no room to give a fuck what slutslave69 thinks about me.

 

[intothewoods]

There are lots of social elements on Lit that I've always found hard to understand. This could be a reflection of who I am in real life too, but I can't be sure.

For one thing, I don't understand why some people feel the need to send pms, then get offended when your response is terse.

It seems to me that if we've exchanged a lot of public conversation and the potential for a more intimate friendship is readily apparent, then by all means. What I don't understand is the people who I've never responded to on the board who send me private messages for whatever reason. Why couldn't this be said publicly?

Going back to the party analogy, I liken this to someone you don't even know, and have no reason to know, pulling you off to the corner or asking you to come for a beer run with them. Honestly, it's creepy.

Also, I can't believe how personal people get when it comes to the discussions and even arguments we have on the board. I can be absolutely livid with someone in one thread, and in complete agreement with them in another. I'm not saying I lack the ability to assign the kind of importance to someone I meet through lit that would enable them to hurt my feelings, but I just don't make emotional attachments to complete and absolute strangers.

Who does?

Is that normal?

Interesting!

As for the PMs...are you maybe just a little paranoid? It's just an email. Isn't it? I'm really just asking, and kind of amused.

I don't often send PMs to anyone, though I recall I did send one to you to ask you to update your thread, I think. And I guess I could have bumped it. I think I may have been feeling a bit lazy.

Does that count as creepy? If so, that's almost cool. I creep out Marquis! Or it's very, very wrong. I'm not sure. It's no secret I think you're hot, but if it makes it less creepy, I don't live anywhere near you and I also don't have time to stalk anyone. Or do forced beer run scenes.

As to the taking things personally...yeah, I'm more or less with you, except that I do feel like people sometimes jump right to a throw down for no reason. There's no reason to be rude. And if someone were rude to me, I wouldn't like it.

 

[HB1965]

Very true, but all it means that you have assigned this place a category in your life, and you are able to deal with keeping it there.

I don't think I'm trying to hold myself aloof.

I got a bitch that crawls up the wall if she doesn't get hard dick on the daily.

I got bills with way too many digits before the decimal point.

I got a family that brings me more drama than a Mexican soap opera.

I gotta make time to stay in shape, eat healthy, go to work and attend the occasional nighttime soiree.

There's just no room to give a fuck what slutslave69 thinks about me.

 

[intothewoods]

Very true, but all it means that you have assigned this place a category in your life, and you are able to deal with keeping it there.

HB - I'm swear I'm asking this genuinely, but don't you do the same?

 

[HB1965]

HB - I'm swear I'm asking this genuinely, but don't you do the same?

Sure I do. As I said before, I respond to the community here and that's the aspect of it that I enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing him at all I'm just offering him an opnion to help him think about why he is the way he is. I see him as conducting himself in a way here that best suits him. He really doesn't have the mental energy to deal with slutslave69 were as I want to reach out and help that person.

It doesn't make him bad just different

 

[intothewoods]

Sure I do. As I said before, I respond to the community here and that's the aspect of it that I enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing him at all I'm just offering him an opnion to help him think about why he is the way he is. I see him as conducting himself in a way here that best suits him. He really doesn't have the mental energy to deal with slutslave69 were as I want to reach out and help that person.

It doesn't make him bad just different

Well. Come on. He's a little bad.

 

[HB1965]

Well. Come on. He's a little bad.

Well sure is, and I wouldn't mind finding out just how bad I'm not going to judge him, however, and find him wanting because he chooses to act in a particular way.

 

[Marquis]

Interesting!

As for the PMs...are you maybe just a little paranoid? It's just an email. Isn't it? I'm really just asking, and kind of amused.

I don't often send PMs to anyone, though I recall I did send one to you to ask you to update your thread, I think. And I guess I could have bumped it. I think I may have been feeling a bit lazy.

Does that count as creepy? If so, that's almost cool. I creep out Marquis! Or it's very, very wrong. I'm not sure. It's no secret I think you're hot, but if it makes it less creepy, I don't live anywhere near you and I also don't have time to stalk anyone. Or do forced beer run scenes.

As to the taking things personally...yeah, I'm more or less with you, except that I do feel like people sometimes jump right to a throw down for no reason. There's no reason to be rude. And if someone were rude to me, I wouldn't like it.

I guess it's fair to call me a little paranoid, I can live with that.

I do remember your pm, and I wasn't offended by it, but like you said, it could've gone in the thread.

Aside from the occasional troll, I'd say people tend to err on the side of being super polite on this forum.

A whole lot of "well this is just my opinion, but..." and "I absolutely don't mean to offend ANYONE by saying this, but..."

 

[HB1965]

Aside from the occasional troll, I'd say people tend to err on the side of being super polite on this forum.

A whole lot of "well this is just my opinion, but..." and "I absolutely don't mean to offend ANYONE by saying this, but..."

Ok then can I tell you that I think you're an asshole.





j/k

 

[shy slave]

I have been around lit awhile.

I don't recall feeling left out when I joined here, although I did lurk for a short time first.

Nor do I don't recall every finding the place unfriendly. I do recall being very worked up about phrasing my first post correctly (even though I don't recall hat it was even on now!), and the same with my first thread. Scared people would think 'what an idiot' about me.

Now I care less if they think that. Sometimes I post fluff, sometimes I post more intense things.

I like the party analogy when looking at here v face to face.

It is different.

This time I also agree with Marquis.
He and I have fell out before, albeit a long time ago. He was also was amazingly intuitive when I needed someone to look out for me. One of his posts was so profound that it made me cry. I regret not book marking it, other times he makes me roll my eyes and keep reading.
[I chose to 'pick' on Marquis because of his comments in this thread and because I know he will be ok about all I have said (at least I damn well hope so, I hate editing stuff later)]

I find I agree and disagree with people on here all the time. Sometimes I say so, sometimes I don't.

Every now and then I have to remind myself there is more out there than Lit.

In general I am not the greatest online friend in the world. People have been wonderful to me and with the hassle of r/l I have let friendships drift. I rarely pm people and it takes awhile for me to respond.

One of my niggles about Lit is not that my posts may be ignored, but the lack of ass hat pm's I get.

WriterDom has been known to send me a one when I complain about it. Other subs get hit on dozens of times. I don't.

Such is life *sigh*

Sometimes it is worth remembering that Lit is only a part of life, it is a strange land; but so are other areas of life.

PS: ITW I read the white type, yep I agree; you are a perv lol