Question for a story. Re Stag/Vixen lifestyle.

[SEVERUSMAX]

Does a stag in a vixen lifestyle also sometimes pursue extramarital partners, or is that by definition an indicator that the lifestyle isn't stag/vixen? I know that it's distinct from both cuckold and wittol/hot wife lifestyles, but also from swinging/swapping. So that's where I'm not clear, if the man who gets some, too, is not actually recognized as a stag. Iirc, stags are typically more equal, if not necessarily dominant in their relationships/marriages with the vixens.

I'm leaning toward saying that stags would get some strange and still be considered stags, but that they emphasize the vixen's proclivities and activities. I am open to that definition being wrong, however.

 

[yukonnights]

This may not be of much help...since I had to look up what a stag/vixen relationship is first But in my 'self education' journey I did find this on Metro News web site;

*She (the genders can be reversed but that’s less common) enjoys performing and being watched.

*Also, stags and vixens doesn’t preclude the man being involved. As well as watching he might eventually join in with his partner and another man rather than enjoying being excluded.

*Couples who practise stag and vixen fantasies are not, however, automatically polyamorous or open. Stags and vixens often only have sex this way in pre-arranged situations, having negotiated their boundaries and when they are both present.

* Lots of stags and vixens would still consider it cheating if their partner had sexual contact with someone else without discussing it first.

 

[SimonDoom]

If your interest is for writing a story, then my advice is not to get too concerned with definitions and what other people think does or does not fit within a definition. Come up with whatever fantasy turns you on, regardless what other people call it, and write about it. Don't think to yourself "my character is a stag, and a stag wouldn't do that." Have your characters do whatever turns you on for them to do. Worry about the definitions and labels afterward.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If your interest is for writing a story, then my advice is not to get too concerned with definitions and what other people think does or does not fit within a definition. Come up with whatever fantasy turns you on, regardless what other people call it, and write about it. Don't think to yourself "my character is a stag, and a stag wouldn't do that." Have your characters do whatever turns you on for them to do. Worry about the definitions and labels afterward.

Sounds like great advice. Even after sixteen years of writing smut, one can learn or re-learn lessons at times. Thanks. So, in a nutshell, this is a flexible term and can be used as needed.

 

[PennameWombat]

This may not be of much help...since I had to look up what a stag/vixen relationship is first But in my 'self education' journey I did find this on Metro News web site;

*She (the genders can be reversed but that’s less common) enjoys performing and being watched.

*Also, stags and vixens doesn’t preclude the man being involved. As well as watching he might eventually join in with his partner and another man rather than enjoying being excluded.

*Couples who practise stag and vixen fantasies are not, however, automatically polyamorous or open. Stags and vixens often only have sex this way in pre-arranged situations, having negotiated their boundaries and when they are both present.

* Lots of stags and vixens would still consider it cheating if their partner had sexual contact with someone else without discussing it first.

I learned something new from the Forum today. No wonder I keep coming back.

I've had something like this lifestyle as a running theme in a number of my stories but with the note it follows the second point. "She" is the Stag and "he" is the Vixen. She's the one who is the dominant, sets things up with other women and he's the one who 'performs' but she usually joins in with both her lover and the women but not always. But she's always present...

But I didn't know it had a 'name.'

Then again, I'm not surprised it does.

The couple are exhibitionists in that they also enjoy being watched by strangers (males and/or females) but only when having sex with each other. Also, "he" encourages "her" to dress quite provocatively and she happily does so, but usually only when with him.

And they both mostly hew to points 3 and 4, "he" doesn't mind if "she" has sex with other women separately from him. But only with women. It hasn't come up in a story as yet, but "she" would not be in a good mood (understatement) if "he" had sex with a man (he's not interested) or a woman without her concurrence/participation... So far, he's not interested because she's quite happy to keep a steady supply of women joining them... (Why screw up a good thing!)

All in all, the Metro News definition is a fair description of them modulo the gender arrangement.

I guess a difference between Stag-Vixen and your standard FFM or threeway is that it's a steady, repeating practice. Not sure I'd ever have the couple call themselves that, probably not. I'm not likely to use it as a tag either, since what I can find searching LitE here shows the more common gender focus of the man being the Stag. And "he" has no interest in her being with other men ("she" has no interest either at this point at least...)