Question, Advice Maybe?

[Amora]

Those of you who enjoy the pain/pleasure thing, is it something you've always known about yourself or is it something you learnt in time? How did you feel about it?

I'm asking because over the past few months I've discovered a distinct liking for pain during sex, not bad pain, but the kind that comes from spanking, biting, roughness, nipple play etc and I was a little surprised at first. I mean, I can orgasm just from that without ever being touched lower down.

Guess I'm just wondering where others come from, six months ago this would have seemed weird, freaky, even sick to me, now it seems rather natural, normal, hell, I'm sitting here for the firts time in my life with bruises on my shoulders from bite marks last night and I love it!!!

Guess I just need a little reassurance that I'm not losing the plot here. LOL

Amora

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I have always had certain fantasies that I didn't quite understand until I discovered this lifestyle.

 

[FurryFury]

Those of you who enjoy the pain/pleasure thing, is it something you've always known about yourself or is it something you learnt in time? How did you feel about it?

I'm asking because over the past few months I've discovered a distinct liking for pain during sex, not bad pain, but the kind that comes from spanking, biting, roughness, nipple play etc and I was a little surprised at first. I mean, I can orgasm just from that without ever being touched lower down.

Guess I'm just wondering where others come from, six months ago this would have seemed weird, freaky, even sick to me, now it seems rather natural, normal, hell, I'm sitting here for the firts time in my life with bruises on my shoulders from bite marks last night and I love it!!!

Guess I just need a little reassurance that I'm not losing the plot here. LOL

Amora

I didn't know consciously until I was over 40. I did know my fantasies were about humiliation and debasement. It wasn't until I started to accept them and experiment that I found out how much I enjoy erotic pain sensation.

I envy those who know by the time they can legally have sex. I wonder how that happens. Are they lucky, less repressed or too exposed to online porn?

LOL.

Fury

 

[Netzach]

I had NO idea that I could sexualize any amount of pain until I was 23 and experiencing some of the toys I wanted to use on other people at the hands of a trainer going "ok, so, this doesn't suck too bad."

I'm largely, not entirely, but very largely a Dominant and a controller.

I have since discovered that most people, Dom, sub, switch, disinterested - will sexualize SOME degree of sensation they would find unpleasant out of the cold with no context.

In fact all of the people I've met who totally objected to a swat on the ass in the heat of the moment with someone they trust did so because of a million reasons other than "it hurts."

 

[the captians wench]

I did enjoy a bit of rough sex now and then when I first started having sex. But nothing more than a few hickies and really hard pounding. I also noticed pretty early on that I liked to be restrained, but until my ex got adventurous our first year married that only consisted of my ankles being placed over his shoulders as he fucked me. Then we bought my first pair of teathers as newly weds. I love those things, and I still use them regularly even on my lonesome.

Towards the end of our 4 year marrage (8 years as a couple), I discovered I really liked being spanked. It wasn't for another few months, after we had seperated, that I discovered to what degree and started being regularly sessioned by my friends.

I'm 23 now, so you can make your own conclutions as to if this is starting young or not.

I was kind of a late bloomer when it comes to realizing things the pleasure me. I never masterbated until my ex asked me to do it for him when I was 16. He guided me along, and honestly until about a year ago I never explored myself, i just always did things the way he had taught me....which I'm now finding out that there was a whole world out there that I just barely stepped my foot into.

I didn't start exploring myself, until i started learning about bdsm, so I guess in a way one lead to the other. Hey I really like that flogging, lets see what else I like.

 

[emotionskill]

I learned early on (20) that i enjoyed rough sex, to me it was way more pleasurable than plain ole boring sex. I liked being bitten, to bite, scratching, spanking etc. I have always had a very high level of pain tolerance, but it never occured to me that i was any different than anyone else. Even as a young girl, i absolutely loved if somebody pulled my hair, or if i got a bruise from something, i'd be like "cool, look at my bruise". I would have bruises all the time (and still do) and have no idea i had even gotten hit that hard. I don't bruise easily, btw.

The problem i had with it at a young age, was that i had absolutely had no idea that there were other people like me. I am from a very small town in the Bible belt and things like sex were just not discussed, much less kinky sex. And kinky sex to most people down here meant anal or doing something, anything other than layin on your back and saying "oh, oh" at the apporpriate times. .

At 22, at a club one night, i was being my normal bratty self and this man slapped my ass HARD and i giggled and stuck my butt out towards him .. the rest as they say, is history. Even tho i figured out there was a BDSM community, i had no idea the extent until 3 years ago when we divorced.

 

[myinnerslut]

i knew i was a masochist from about 7 years old. i didnt even figure the sexual bit out for years, but ive known for quite some time.

 

[Cheshire D]

To be honest, I've known I was submissive for a long time. My fantasies have always been about being experimented on, told what to do...but I didn't know quite how masochistic I was (very) until I was first swatted hard on the ass and got highly aroused. When the sensations of pain were stepped up, it was like a lightbulb turning on. Rather entertaining for my play partner, I'm sure.

 

[Amora]

I did enjoy a bit of rough sex now and then when I first started having sex. But nothing more than a few hickies and really hard pounding. I also noticed pretty early on that I liked to be restrained, but until my ex got adventurous our first year married that only consisted of my ankles being placed over his shoulders as he fucked me. Then we bought my first pair of teathers as newly weds. I love those things, and I still use them regularly even on my lonesome.

Towards the end of our 4 year marrage (8 years as a couple), I discovered I really liked being spanked. It wasn't for another few months, after we had seperated, that I discovered to what degree and started being regularly sessioned by my friends.

I'm 23 now, so you can make your own conclutions as to if this is starting young or not.

I was kind of a late bloomer when it comes to realizing things the pleasure me. I never masterbated until my ex asked me to do it for him when I was 16. He guided me along, and honestly until about a year ago I never explored myself, i just always did things the way he had taught me....which I'm now finding out that there was a whole world out there that I just barely stepped my foot into.

I didn't start exploring myself, until i started learning about bdsm, so I guess in a way one lead to the other. Hey I really like that flogging, lets see what else I like.

You see, this is kinda how I'm feeling except with my hubby. Lucky me!!! We have discovered a lot of new things lately, some of which I've been a little worried by. Not after a talk but I guess I struggled against the society perceptions of things as being weird and that made me worry that he would find it a turn-off or think I'm weird. He doesn't and hasn't and I'm just starting to admit to myself exactly how much I love certain things. I'm learning to be comfortable with who I am which is great as I'm 28 and I feel like we are lovers for the first time all over again!

I'm hoping that we will try flogging/paddles at some point soon, just to see as I love when he slaps my ass or pussy.

Amora

 

[the captians wench]

You see, this is kinda how I'm feeling except with my hubby. Lucky me!!! We have discovered a lot of new things lately, some of which I've been a little worried by. Not after a talk but I guess I struggled against the society perceptions of things as being weird and that made me worry that he would find it a turn-off or think I'm weird. He doesn't and hasn't and I'm just starting to admit to myself exactly how much I love certain things. I'm learning to be comfortable with who I am which is great as I'm 28 and I feel like we are lovers for the first time all over again!

I'm hoping that we will try flogging/paddles at some point soon, just to see as I love when he slaps my ass or pussy.

Amora

You'd probably relate to my ex pretty well in being afraid to talk about things you'd like to try. Unfortunitly I wasn't the easiest person to approach.

Like I mentioned, I never masterbated on my own until after we seperated, and I didn't start fantasising until about 2 months before the split. I was (and for the most part still am in my off line life) very modest and reserved. I still feel the blush on my cheeks from how red I got the first time he took me to a sex shop. The first porno I ever watched I watched with him. He bought me my first toy. And well he pretty much taught me about sex, other than the kegal stuff my mom talked to me about (try doing those with a cock in ya and he'll be very thankful ). Then it didn't help that thru my own personal religious study I had determined that masterbation is a sin and so on and so on. Deeper study of those passages that made me come to that conclution changed my mind, but I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to aproach me.

I tried to be open to him. And I never did a "you want to do what" kinda thing, but I was very shy when it came to talking about sex, so I'd get quiet and bashful and with deep pink cheeks turn away from him. Funny thing is now I've given him some advice on sex *giggles* funny how things turn out.

 

[Toa_lin]

hmmmmmm..... well, I could b even more odd then I thought... oh well

So, I've noticed most who have posted here realised how they were after they turned 20, and those who noticed b4 hand have been Masochists... Well, I guess, for now anyway, I'm the odd-ball of the bunch and can simply say I've always known I was controlling since I was about 5 and started to have my "minions"... Though i didn't bully people, instead I was hell-raiser against faculty

By the time I was 11 I noticed another thing about myself, when one of my minions screwed up, I'd smack up side the back of the head without a single thought... and didn't discriminate between guys or girls... I eventually noticed I actually took pleasure in hitting the girls when they screwed up. ((All of them knew they could tell me no, and that I would stop, they just never did... those who are my friends today have admited to me they're masochists... i guess u could say i was a polygamous Dom b4 even getting to the sexual bit lol))

By the time I turned 18 and was of legal age, I knew full well and completely what I was and was not into. I knew I was a Dom. and that I had a natural tendancy to atract subs to me without trying. My current pyl was one of those subs who i atracted to me, but I took special interest in her. now I've fallen for her, and have no polygamous desires at all... ((which is weird considering my past but... oh well))

I hope this helped answer your question.

 

[BiBunny]

While I'm technically a switch, I still lean pretty heavily to the submissive side of the spectrum, even though lately I've become a lot more interested in exploring my dominant side more fully. Ok, that was my disclaimer. Here's my answer.

I knew I was a masochist long, long before I had any idea what the hell a masochist was. I can remember beating myself with hairbrushes and such and binding myself (rather ineptly, I might add) even before I started kindergarten at 5 years old. I'm one of those people who produces super-endorphins as my Master refers to them, LOL. It doesn't take a whole lot of pain for my body to release tons of them into my system, and then I'm flying. Even as a child, it didn't take much for me to figure out that a little pain would produce a whole lot of pleasure. As soon as I was old enough to understand what sex was, I started associating pain and sexual pleasure (8 or 9 years old, I think). I'd read magazine articles about children being kidnapped, tortured, and raped, and I'd masturbate and fantasize that I was the child in the story. It never dawned on me that it was "bad" or anything.

The realization that I was submissive came later. I was in my late teens before I realized this. A couple of years later, probably about the age of 19 or 20, I found that hurting others who enjoyed pain gave me just as much pleasure as feeling the pain myself. Only in the past six months or so have I put much thought into having a part-time submissive of my own to play with. That's still a good way down the road, though, I think.

 

[Netzach]

So, I've noticed most who have posted here realised how they were after they turned 20, and those who noticed b4 hand have been Masochists... Well, I guess, for now anyway, I'm the odd-ball of the bunch and can simply say I've always known I was controlling since I was about 5 and started to have my "minions"... Though i didn't bully people, instead I was hell-raiser against faculty

By the time I was 11 I noticed another thing about myself, when one of my minions screwed up, I'd smack up side the back of the head without a single thought... and didn't discriminate between guys or girls... I eventually noticed I actually took pleasure in hitting the girls when they screwed up. ((All of them knew they could tell me no, and that I would stop, they just never did... those who are my friends today have admited to me they're masochists... i guess u could say i was a polygamous Dom b4 even getting to the sexual bit lol))

By the time I turned 18 and was of legal age, I knew full well and completely what I was and was not into. I knew I was a Dom. and that I had a natural tendancy to atract subs to me without trying. My current pyl was one of those subs who i atracted to me, but I took special interest in her. now I've fallen for her, and have no polygamous desires at all... ((which is weird considering my past but... oh well))

I hope this helped answer your question.

I was bullied and ordered around by certain people and never hit back. Sub?
No, just poorly adjusted.

I also managed to hold my family captive audience while I danced the Nutcracker in its entirety at the age of 7 or 8. And I was capable of rousing up a game where I was the shepherd and about 8 of my friends were the sheep going maa maa on the playground when I was in kindgergarten.

I just don't read too much into this when controlling adults.

 

[liberatedslave]

I've always been sub. My adolescent fantasies were all subbie although i never compared them to anyone else's & so didn't realise how much more submissive i was than my peers. I've only explored the last couple of years (i'm 27) but it's been not so much of a revelation as a vindication of how I've always been inside. Fuck women's lib, i want my ass spanked! ... If it pleases my Sir that is

 

[marieR19]

Me realizing my submissiveness (and even masochism) was a very different experience from when i first realized I liked pain.

The first time I realized I liked pain was not in a good way at all: Back then I was an avid cutter, I cut/hurt myself all the time, and not long after I started doing it regularly I realized that I didn't just do it because it calmed me down, I did it because I liked the feeling.

So yeah, very different, and not in a good way.


Heather

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Me realizing my submissiveness (and even masochism) was a very different experience from when i first realized I liked pain.

The first time I realized I liked pain was not in a good way at all: Back then I was an avid cutter, I cut/hurt myself all the time, and not long after I started doing it regularly I realized that I didn't just do it because it calmed me down, I did it because I liked the feeling.

So yeah, very different, and not in a good way.


Heather

Marie this is why I was so against cutting or branding. I really thought only sick fuckers cut or brand themselves. But then through an misunderstanding of the consequences I let me self get branded. After that I was like ok with cutting, so much so that I want one if now I could find a design for me.