morninggirl5
Secret Dream Machine
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- May 6, 2001
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- 10,647
SpectreT said:
Annoying, superfluous piece of melodrama is a wonderful description.
Question: Addressing Doms/mes on line
- Thread starter MissTaken
- Start date
Annoying, superfluous piece of melodrama is a wonderful description.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
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- 8,786
I find titles exceedingly awkward and highly embarassing until the energy between me and another - behind closed doors - makes them necessary and erotic.
There have been instances in my life when i used various honorifics because my partner had earned and claimed that seldom-occupied spot in my brain/heart/mind/thoughts/life. I have, indeed, called my dominant "Master" or "Mistress" - out loud - in play - during service - murmured while we fell asleep together. I have meant the titles, too, down into my soul.
But i don't use them lightly.
I don't use them with anyone i chance to play with.
They are very, very special terms, those titles, and i reserve them for only the most special dominants against whom my life brushes - the few dominants to whom i've offer my full submission.
Everyone else gets "Hey! You! The Domly one!" from me...
There have been instances in my life when i used various honorifics because my partner had earned and claimed that seldom-occupied spot in my brain/heart/mind/thoughts/life. I have, indeed, called my dominant "Master" or "Mistress" - out loud - in play - during service - murmured while we fell asleep together. I have meant the titles, too, down into my soul.
But i don't use them lightly.
I don't use them with anyone i chance to play with.
They are very, very special terms, those titles, and i reserve them for only the most special dominants against whom my life brushes - the few dominants to whom i've offer my full submission.
Everyone else gets "Hey! You! The Domly one!" from me...
MotorCitySam
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2002
- Posts
- 195
I am very glad to read what people are saying on this issue. As an African-American, the use of terms like "master" and "slave" have been a stumbling block for me in regard to BDSM.
I had been under the impression that such words were used pretty much universally.
I had been under the impression that such words were used pretty much universally.
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
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- 4,387
You're not alone on this, Sam. I won't use the terms "Master" and "slave" because to me there's nothing beautiful or sensual or sexy about them. To me, they're words that invoke the worst aspects of humanity--the capacity to hate and to exploit. Other people have no problem with the terms; clearly the words mean something different to them than they do to me, or to you.MotorCitySam said:
As with everything, to each their own, right?
Re: Here's one Switch's perspective....
I thought I was the only one to do this!! I sometimes address people as Sir or Madam or even gentlemen in the plural - it actually tends to happen when I am feeling particularly assertive (i know thats odd) or sarcastic.
When I am angry or annoyed I become very polite and quite coldly formal, I also use Sir/Madam when I am feeling more like my 'other self' someone who doesn't quite exist in this time or place but belongs more firmly in a slower and more chivalrous age.
RE: online etiquetts, I never address anyone as Master or Mistress in an open room, and I would rarely use Sir or Ma'am either. I am polite and offer respect when it is given to me in return. I do not like to be called by little 'sub' names either and I never address any subs that I play with anything by but their name unless they ask or indicate a desire for anything else.
I accept few title from others and I don't feel at all comfortable with Mistress. However I rarely play online as a Domme so have little experience in that arena.
SpectreT said:
I thought I was the only one to do this!! I sometimes address people as Sir or Madam or even gentlemen in the plural - it actually tends to happen when I am feeling particularly assertive (i know thats odd) or sarcastic.
When I am angry or annoyed I become very polite and quite coldly formal, I also use Sir/Madam when I am feeling more like my 'other self' someone who doesn't quite exist in this time or place but belongs more firmly in a slower and more chivalrous age.
RE: online etiquetts, I never address anyone as Master or Mistress in an open room, and I would rarely use Sir or Ma'am either. I am polite and offer respect when it is given to me in return. I do not like to be called by little 'sub' names either and I never address any subs that I play with anything by but their name unless they ask or indicate a desire for anything else.
I accept few title from others and I don't feel at all comfortable with Mistress. However I rarely play online as a Domme so have little experience in that arena.
Mr. Bootie
Da Bootieman is back!!
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2001
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- 3,330
You know I've thought about this for a bit and.....
I don't think I'd like to be called "master", or even refer to my sub as a "slave". Now if she would like to call me "Sir", that works for me, but not necesarry. I want her to feel comfortable in how she adresses me. Hearing her say my name at the right moment and under the right circumstances is also appropriate. I guess it depends on how you were relating to one another in the first place. What kinds of names did you call yourselves while you were getting to know each other. Now that I think about it. I may have my sub call me by my lit nickname. Yeah! I think I like that. ( That is when I get one........lol )
kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"
I don't think I'd like to be called "master", or even refer to my sub as a "slave". Now if she would like to call me "Sir", that works for me, but not necesarry. I want her to feel comfortable in how she adresses me. Hearing her say my name at the right moment and under the right circumstances is also appropriate. I guess it depends on how you were relating to one another in the first place. What kinds of names did you call yourselves while you were getting to know each other. Now that I think about it. I may have my sub call me by my lit nickname. Yeah! I think I like that. ( That is when I get one........lol )
kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2001
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Re: Re: Here's one Switch's perspective....
You're not alone by a stretch. I have a few other oddities, at least for an American. How I spell "Spectre" and "grey", among other words, are pretty strange.
And the first sign of danger from me is when my voice tightens up, I become more quiet, precise and formal than my everyday speech. That's when I'm close to blowing a gasket.
I definitely belong in another age; none of my skills or interests, save computers, are suited to this one at all.
petrel said:
You're not alone by a stretch. I have a few other oddities, at least for an American. How I spell "Spectre" and "grey", among other words, are pretty strange.
And the first sign of danger from me is when my voice tightens up, I become more quiet, precise and formal than my everyday speech. That's when I'm close to blowing a gasket.
I definitely belong in another age; none of my skills or interests, save computers, are suited to this one at all.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
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- Apr 17, 2002
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- 11,416
Re: Re: Here's one Switch's perspective....
I have always been this way. My parents brought me up to be this way with my elders. And, consequently, now that I am the elder, I cringe when some young whippersnapper calls me sir.
As for online respect, I am more apt to go with simple respect. When I did play online, I didn't mind being called Sir, but I didn't demand it, at all. When it comes to online situations, you have no idea who is actually behind that nick. It could be a very well educated Master, or it could just be a punk kid. It is more likely the latter. Being able to say the right words in a chat room isn't cause for that kind of respect.
Simple respect is fine. No need to be hateful, mean or otherwise disrespectful. Now, I have heard some strange stories where the first words out of these pseudo Dom types is "kneel, slut" and things like that. I think the proper response for that comment is "fuck off, asshole!"
petrel said:
I have always been this way. My parents brought me up to be this way with my elders. And, consequently, now that I am the elder, I cringe when some young whippersnapper calls me sir.
As for online respect, I am more apt to go with simple respect. When I did play online, I didn't mind being called Sir, but I didn't demand it, at all. When it comes to online situations, you have no idea who is actually behind that nick. It could be a very well educated Master, or it could just be a punk kid. It is more likely the latter. Being able to say the right words in a chat room isn't cause for that kind of respect.
Simple respect is fine. No need to be hateful, mean or otherwise disrespectful. Now, I have heard some strange stories where the first words out of these pseudo Dom types is "kneel, slut" and things like that. I think the proper response for that comment is "fuck off, asshole!"
AngelicAssassin
Something Wicked
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2001
- Posts
- 10,945
Since it has come up in another thread, here's a thread with other views.
Like Killermuffin, i've seen appointments that made my skin crawl, to the point i didn't wish to be anywhere near particular individuals in case of collateral damage upon my person. i've locked eyes with superior officers in the past, always from a position of respect. Call it mindfuck if you will, but walking out of the office of a sanctimonious @sshole and having them realize, if they ever did, they won the battle in the discussion, but lost the war always let me sleep well at night.
i've spoken to the genuine article, including Colin Powell. Someone that would rather speak to a pair of Captains in the background rather than full-bulls and single stars on random matters, and NOT the let them blend back into the background (to the consternation of the O-6 and O-7 brown nosers) has my vote for POTUS.
As for the rest, i'll tolerate Sir just as i did before. Piss me off and i won't acknowledge you exist.
Like Killermuffin, i've seen appointments that made my skin crawl, to the point i didn't wish to be anywhere near particular individuals in case of collateral damage upon my person. i've locked eyes with superior officers in the past, always from a position of respect. Call it mindfuck if you will, but walking out of the office of a sanctimonious @sshole and having them realize, if they ever did, they won the battle in the discussion, but lost the war always let me sleep well at night.
i've spoken to the genuine article, including Colin Powell. Someone that would rather speak to a pair of Captains in the background rather than full-bulls and single stars on random matters, and NOT the let them blend back into the background (to the consternation of the O-6 and O-7 brown nosers) has my vote for POTUS.
As for the rest, i'll tolerate Sir just as i did before. Piss me off and i won't acknowledge you exist.
