Put Down the Romantic Comedy...

[3113]

And back away slowly.... (From the Telegraph.co.uk)

Unlikely happy endings, improbable plots and faux philosophy are to blame, they say. Researchers believe that the influence of Hollywood films is instilling a warped sense of the "perfect" relationship within society and providing unrealistic expectations about romance. They are also oversimplifying the process of falling in love and wrongly giving the impression that it could and should be achieved without any effort, it is claimed.

The team at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh studied 40 top box office films released between 1995 and 2005, to establish common themes. They then asked hundreds of people to fill out a questionnaire to describe their beliefs and expectations when it came to relationships.The psychologists found that fans of films such as You've Got Mail, The Wedding Planner and While You Were Sleeping, often fail to communicate with their partners effectively, with many holding the view that if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you needing to tell them.

Dr Bjarne Holmes, a psychologist who led the research, said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. "We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds. "The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise."

Dr Holmes said that the team had spent a year "thoroughly analysing" and discovered a number of common themes that were unrealistic. They included the idea of "the one" soul mate who we were all pre-destined to meet and that they should know us instinctively so well they can "almost read out minds". "We all want to be successful in our relationships," said Dr Holmes. "We want to be the special one and meet the special one. Unfortunately people tend to believe the Hollywood idea of a perfect relationship. "That is just unrealistic. People feel if their relationship is not like a Hollywood film then it is not any good.

Dr Holmes said you have to invest time and energy into a relationship. "Investing time and energy are not themes that are popular in Hollywood films," he added. Kimberly Johnson, who worked on the study, added: "Films do capture the excitement of new relationships but they also wrongly suggest that trust and committed love exist from the moment people meet, whereas these are qualities that normally take years to develop." In order to find out more the researchers have launched a much larger, international study on the effects of the media on relationships. They are asking people to participate by answering questions about personality, relationships, and media consumption habits. The questionnaire can be found at http://www.attachmentresearch.org

Wow. I so have to go into research. I mean, it took them a year of studying these movies to figure out that they were unrealistic? And created unrealistic expectations? And just when in the history of the romance--novel or movie--haven't they done this? I could've saved them so much time and effort.

 

[Miss_Misaki]

Lol. I've known for a while now that the media is adversely affecting peoples' perceptions of the perfect relationship. I see it in my friends all the time. I keep trying to tell them that the concept of "true love" isn't at all what they think it is. True love only exists when both partners are willing to nurture it and keep it alive for the rest of their natural lives. It can and will die if it is one-sided or is only being contributed to by one of them. The give and take have to come in equal parts, and this isn't something people can take to right away. People are inherently selfish creatures, and although we're taught from toddlerhood that the world doesn't revolve around us, it's hard to break out of that mentality without actually having to share your life with someone.

It takes time, effort, and a ton of patience to make a relationship work, and it's something I've yet been unable to do. I have a lot of respect for people who can and have, though.

It's funny how far we've come as a society, considering the fact that the concept of love wasn't even developed until the onset of the middle ages.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"...between 1995 and 2005..."

yep, that was the golden age of unrealistic movies, for sure.

 

[rgraham666]

They are really running out of things to research, aren't they?

 

[TE999]

They are really running out of things to research, aren't they?

They'll want to study TV shows next.

"Egad, Prof. Recondite...Our studies show people actually think problems can be solved in a half-hour or an hour because of television. I'll alert the media."

"You do that Prof. Twaddle, I'm working on another grant application."

 

[3113]

They are really running out of things to research, aren't they?

Are you implying this isn't important? My god man! People's marriages are at stake!

 

[3113]

You notice they only focused on chick flicks and how they effect women; they didn't do research on what Hollywood "guy" movies do to male expectations of relationship. Is that because it wouldn't change?

Before the action movie: "Um...hot girls are easy and guys should have sex with lots of them."

After the movie: "Hot chicks are easy and guys should have sex with lots of them."

 

[Weird Harold]

You notice they only focused on chick flicks and how they effect women; ...

They not only focused on "chick flicks," they focused on blockbuster hits. Then they got the cart befor ethe horse and concluded that the hit movies formed opinion instead of being hit movies because they followed opinion.

 

[Liar]

Duh.

 

[Liar]

After the movie: "Hot chicks are easy and guys should have sex with lots of them."

Or rahter, "If it's that easy to have sex with hot chicks all the time, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

 

[rgraham666]

I know the answer to that question. At least where I'm concerned.

Ahem.

I'm old, I'm poor and I'm weird.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm sorry but this is obviously a biased study and that asshat psychologist, Dr Bjarne Holmes who led the research, has an anti-lesbian agenda. I mean look: the dude's first names starts with Bj for gawds sakes!

and I'spose "swallowing" is what he's referring when he says "wrongly giving the impression that [love] could and should be achieved without any effort"!

 

[jomar]

Wow. I so have to go into research. I mean, it took them a year of studying these movies to figure out that they were unrealistic? And created unrealistic expectations? And just when in the history of the romance--novel or movie--haven't they done this? I could've saved them so much time and effort.

They are really running out of things to research, aren't they?

In the footnotes they admitted it was a matter of publish or perish and all the good movie research had been taken and they weren't really that motivated anyway.

 

[damppanties]

I'm sorry but this is obviously a biased study and that asshat psychologist, Dr Bjarne Holmes who led the research, has an anti-lesbian agenda. I mean look: the dude's first names starts with Bj for gawds sakes!

and I'spose "swallowing" is what he's referring when he says "wrongly giving the impression that [love] could and should be achieved without any effort"!

Just what is so wrong with swallowing, Betsy? It's less messy....

 

[voluptuary_manque]

And so the wisdom of the Classical Civilizations is proven once more. Romantic Love is a disease and is to be avoided so coupling should be done from an Apollonian standpoint and always arranged by the elders. Or something. Whatever.

 

[rgraham666]

I'll settle for getting laid once in a while.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I'll settle for getting laid once in a while.

Go beginning. After all, it's been proven to improve health. Hmmm . . . couldn't you just bill that to the NHS? Once we've got such a thing established here, I'm sure going to give it a try!

 

[rgraham666]

Nope. Not covered under OHIP.

I checked.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Nope. Not covered under OHIP.

I checked.

Damn! The VA won't cover it either. These people just don't understand preventive medicine, yanno?

 

[3113]

I'm sorry but this is obviously a biased study and that asshat psychologist, Dr Bjarne Holmes who led the research, has an anti-lesbian agenda.

Their next study is going to be the effects of the "L-Word" and all those lesbian "best friends" in romantic movies on Lesbian ideas of romance and love.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Their next study is going to be the effects of the "L-Word" and all those lesbian "best friends" in romantic movies on Lesbian ideas of romance and love.

I'm . . . not . . . touching . . . that . . . with . . . a . . . ten-foot . . . pole!

*slinks back to the Naked Party Palace and hides under the sofa*

 

[rgraham666]

I think I'll join you.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Their next study is going to be the effects of the "L-Word" and all those lesbian "best friends" in romantic movies on Lesbian ideas of romance and love.

FINALLY a worthwhile study!

My suspicions are that they they will find that most chicks will decide that, regarding Lesbians, the best policy will be "If you can't join'em, lick'em!"

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm . . . not . . . touching . . . that . . . with . . . a . . . ten-foot . . . pole!

*slinks back to the Naked Party Palace and hides under the sofa*

I think I'll join you.

Freaking cowards!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Freaking cowards!

*from over on the other thread and from under the sofa with Chantilyvamp*


I didn't live this long being reckless, Sue! He who runs away lives long enough to keep running.