EmpressJosephine
Mistress of Role-Plays
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Puns
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done_got_old
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mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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If a bird poops over a stadium full of people, it is likely that shit will hit a fan.
Eisranac
Going My Own Way
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Instead of in the back of a car in the parking lot of the bank, they should have had intercourse inside the vault.
That way, they would have practiced safe sex.
Or they could have returned to his apartment for her to have intercourse with him using as little protection as possible inside of his condominium considering how small he was, but that might have been too complex.
That way, they would have practiced safe sex.
Or they could have returned to his apartment for her to have intercourse with him using as little protection as possible inside of his condominium considering how small he was, but that might have been too complex.
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
Time to get a new bed
Eisranac
Going My Own Way
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I would pack a trunk and leave if that happened.
Or better yet, pachyderm along with the trunk.
done_got_old
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done_got_old
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Is a constipated witch spellbound?
mnbreastluver
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Getting slaves to build pyramids was the original pyramid scheme.
DarkSimian
RONIN
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Jose is a devote baseball fan. So he sneaks across the border, to watch the Astros play the Nationals. But he can't get a ticket, so he climbs up the flag pole to watch the game. Just as he gets to the top, the crowd turns to him, and in unison, sings, "Jose can you see...?"
done_got_old
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The government ensures you're safe from exercising through the Fitness Protection Program.
done_got_old
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done_got_old
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The only thing that flat-earthers fear ...
...is sphere itself.
...is sphere itself.
cyberking001
Loves Spam
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literature puns
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
What is Alexadre Dumas' favourite treat?
Three Musketeers
The teacher told me to name two pronouns.
I said, "Who, me?"
What was Shakespeare's favourite toy?
Play dough
When Shakespeare wrote Hamlet, he couldn't decide which pencil to use.
2B or not 2B
When John Milton was in the casino playing craps, it was his turn to roll the dice.
Unfortunately, they fell onto the floor.
The pit boss yelled, "Pair of Dice Lost!"
How do you know that Herman Melville's whale was male?
He had a Moby Dick.
Ernest Hemingway has two kids, a girl and a boy.
The girl always gets out of bed first.
But eventually, the son also rises.
Did you know that T.S. Eliot wrote a book about a country full of human torsos?
It is called the Waist Land.
Mary Shelly married Albert Einstein and they had a son together.
They called him Frank Einstein.
In the Snow White movie, there is a song about getting your photos through the mail.
It is called "Some Day My Prints Will Come."
Alexandre Dumas wrote a book about cooking with lard.
The Count of Monte Crisco.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
What is Alexadre Dumas' favourite treat?
Three Musketeers
The teacher told me to name two pronouns.
I said, "Who, me?"
What was Shakespeare's favourite toy?
Play dough
When Shakespeare wrote Hamlet, he couldn't decide which pencil to use.
2B or not 2B
When John Milton was in the casino playing craps, it was his turn to roll the dice.
Unfortunately, they fell onto the floor.
The pit boss yelled, "Pair of Dice Lost!"
How do you know that Herman Melville's whale was male?
He had a Moby Dick.
Ernest Hemingway has two kids, a girl and a boy.
The girl always gets out of bed first.
But eventually, the son also rises.
Did you know that T.S. Eliot wrote a book about a country full of human torsos?
It is called the Waist Land.
Mary Shelly married Albert Einstein and they had a son together.
They called him Frank Einstein.
In the Snow White movie, there is a song about getting your photos through the mail.
It is called "Some Day My Prints Will Come."
Alexandre Dumas wrote a book about cooking with lard.
The Count of Monte Crisco.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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If you nickel and dime your customers you are unlikely to make a mint, but they may coin a phrase or two about your business sense.
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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If you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, doesnt that make you the waiter.
Eisranac
Going My Own Way
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I think that statement only covers a quarter of the issue.
done_got_old
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mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
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If you sweat while wearing a sweater that makes you the sweater.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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done_got_old
Literotica Guru
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