Puns

[done_got_old]

I like all track and field events but I really get a charge out of the pole volt.

 

[done_got_old]

He wasn't the most villainous knight in the realm, but he was medieval.

 

[done_got_old]

http://i468.photobucket.com/albums/rr47/done-got-old/49946793_10161307649725052_7531657527893688320_n_zpse82jyqsn.jpg

 

[mnbreastluver]

Burying someone in the wrong place would be a grave mistake.

 

[done_got_old]

Once there was a Scottish thief who stole only valuable, antique tartans. When he was arrested, he plaid guilty.

 

[done_got_old]

Never trust an atom. They make up everything!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If pee was stored in balls, all men would carry a bag of peenuts

 

[done_got_old]

I tried to sell the antique string instrument cause I needed the lute.

 

[Ask For More]

The police said they had picture evidence of me stealing from an art gallery. I wasn't in the picture, but somebody framed me.

 

[done_got_old]

I thought becoming a real estate agent would be easy, but I had a lot to learn.

 

[Cymru6969]

All toilets had been stolen from a local police precinct headquarters. With no leads,
a police spokesman was quoted, “We have nothing to go on at this time.”

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/51017153_10156858675027141_8414149384530296832_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_eui2=AeF1yJEfnJDI4hsJ-5GZbSgO1ESfF5FenyoOLEI9YTcYbM1fhovUCBULa2mUgegV-OflHG_YA9GK240gNFHrX9CKPIHVnoHDB7dZLDdAx-yLrw&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=3337cc267044d106b293a4d144ab79ef&oe=5CFCACA3

 

[done_got_old]

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/608/328/c87.jpg

 

[mnbreastluver]

Burning fat makes you a mass murderer.

 

[done_got_old]

It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.

 

[done_got_old]

https://image.spreadshirtmedia.com/image-server/v1/mp/compositions/T812A387PA1663PT17X49Y59D1013806968FS2900/views/1,width=378,height=378,appearanceId=387,backgroundColor=463C26,noPt=true,version=1543820067/don-t-get-kilt-gift-for-bagpipe-players-men-s-premium-t-shirt.jpg

 

[mnbreastluver]

The fact that irons are not made from iron is an example of irony.

 

[done_got_old]

I listen to the radio with such frequency that my ear Hertz.

 

[done_got_old]

http://i468.photobucket.com/albums/rr47/done-got-old/poo_zpsxvwqsaur.png

 

[done_got_old]

https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7839618816/hD9426CC6/

 

[porkyrocket69]

Remember when your mother used to ask, "What the FUCK is wrong with you?"

 

[done_got_old]

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/e6/e7/f3/e6e7f32e8f76c83ec48e2cb9014317b0.jpg

 

[done_got_old]

What does a spy do in the rain? He goes undercover.

 

[done_got_old]

Steinbeck considered writing a novel where Adam Trask became a baker. He was going to call it 'Yeast of Eden.'

 

[done_got_old]

The new addition to the team is a real plus.