Puns

[Ask For More]

Puns about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

 

[Bjerget]

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A. A nervous wreck.

 

[ashik09]

I was given a car for my birthday. I didn't like it, but there was nothing I could do about it.

It was a Fiat Accompli.

 

[done_got_old]

A usurer takes lots of interest in his work.

 

[londoner2]

Currently looking for some pictures of golf courses by the sea. Anyone got any links?

 

[done_got_old]

If a bearded man makes vases is he a hairy potter?

 

[done_got_old]

The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve.

 

[AllIsGood]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

 

[AllIsGood]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

 

[Libidneous1]

Did you hear about the poor Woman that backed into an airplane propeller?
Disassedher.

 

[ashik09]

Did you hear about the poor Woman that backed into an airplane propeller?
Disassedher.

That's so bad it loops all the way around to being genius.

 

[AllIsGood]

If a short psychic broke out of jail, there'd be a small medium at large.

 

[AllIsGood]

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire.

 

[done_got_old]

Weight loss pills stolen this morning - police say suspects are still at large.

 

[AllIsGood]

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.

 

[done_got_old]

Why did the lumberjack lose his job? He axed too many questions.

 

[done_got_old]

After the severe storm last night people were shocked to hear from electrician that he was ready provide current events on power restoration.

 

[AllIsGood]

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.

 

[done_got_old]

In the deli, I learnt the finer aspics of making jello salad.

 

[done_got_old]

Farmers engaged in paddy cultivation for generations are genetically ingrained!

 

[Polranny]

Constipated mathematicians work it out with a pencil

 

[AllIsGood]

I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

 

[done_got_old]

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

 

[AllIsGood]

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

that's worth a groan and a laugh!

 

[done_got_old]

that's worth a groan and a laugh!

I went to a budget restaurant to dine and when I returned there was a parking ticket stuck on the windshield. Well, that was fine dining!