Puns

[done_got_old]

Some say I eat so much fruit that I must be going bananas, while others think I'm already plum crazy. I respond to those people by giving them the raspberry.

 

[mnbreastluver]

People that work at money printing factories make money for the living to make money for a living.

Glad your home DGO

 

[done_got_old]

People that work at money printing factories make money for the living to make money for a living.

Glad your home DGO

Thank you!

"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" said Tom dolefully

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can always count on yourself if you use your fingers.

 

[done_got_old]

I have a friend who owns a delivery service, is business picking up or dropping off?

 

[Redanja]

I wonder, what if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

[AllIsGood]

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

 

[done_got_old]

My sister didn't believe that I could build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

 

[mnbreastluver]

There's probably a stripper dressed like a cop who gives LAPDances.

 

[done_got_old]

The best mathematicians amongst the snake family: the adders.

 

[AllIsGood]

Ban pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.

(sign at a Seattle gas station)

 

[done_got_old]

I went to a budget restaurant to dine and when I returned there was a parking ticket stuck on the windshield. Well, that was fine dining!

 

[ashik09]

It's weird how you always see a bunch of people with rashes together. It's like they have a Hives mentality.

 

[done_got_old]

Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job.

 

[angelofthenorth]

i was going to start a collection of pretty soap, but i clean forgot

 

[done_got_old]

I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

 

[ashik09]

On a visit to a poultry farm, I was given a chicken to hold.

I felt a right cock.

 

[AllIsGood]

No matter how hard you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

 

[_valkyrie_]

O456!

 

[done_got_old]

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

 

[done_got_old]

Big shout out to my fingers! I can always count on them.

 

[done_got_old]

..............

 

[AllIsGood]

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands

 

[done_got_old]

https://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/2b_9bd86a_1250431.jpg

 

[done_got_old]

The electrician switched careers to become a tailor because he knew how to fix shorts.