Puns

[mnbreastluver]

Technically, Chiropractors are crack dealers.

 

[done_got_old]

http://media.slaplaughter.danoah.com/wp-content/uploads/20171206030447/sore-knee.jpg

 

[Ask For More]

Technically, Chiropractors are crack dealers.

They might have a bone to pick with you over that pun.

 

[done_got_old]

What do you call the family of a water pump? Pump-Kin.

 

[Eisranac]

The librarian didn't know what to do with the book about Tesla's love of electricity, so he filed it under 'Current Affairs.'

Which was his favorite band? AC/DC? Electric Light Orchestra? Edison Lighthouse? Shocking Blue?

Anyway, I find that pun revolting. Please post something more ample.

A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, “Wow! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.

I do not believe you can weasel your way out of this one, but what if the weasel wanted to liquor up?

The recipient might or might not be very receptive.

Technically, Chiropractors are crack dealers.

That was a spineless comment.

You really should back up statements like that.

http://media.slaplaughter.danoah.com/wp-content/uploads/20171206030447/sore-knee.jpg

I tried two different browsers and I never sore the image you posted. I am actually being serious.

I kneed to see it.

They might have a bone to pick with you over that pun.

Well, you seem to have a leg up on seeing what was posted, but I now wonder how many skeletons are in mnbreastluver’s closet.

What do you call the family of a water pump? Pump-Kin.

That was rather seedy.

I would say that anyone who thinks that is funny is out of their gourd, but I will squash that thought instead.

 

[done_got_old]

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.

 

[Eisranac]

They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.

I do not think you drilled down enough to get to the real truth.

That really bites.

 

[done_got_old]

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

 

[Eisranac]

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

...and that really gummed up the works for her.

She will have to chew on that one for a while.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A butcher always has beef between him and his customers.

 

[done_got_old]

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

 

[Eisranac]

A butcher always has beef between him and his customers.

That is not full of bull, although that is his choice.

Rather, that is true be cows a lot is at steak, usually during prime time.

By the way, don’t breast luvers visit the butcher?

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Witnesses would get an Eiffel of that action.

 

[Cymru6969]

She was only a cow man’s daughter, but all the horse men knew her

 

[done_got_old]

An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out.

 

[done_got_old]

https://i.imgflip.com/v4lvq.jpg

 

[done_got_old]

Personal ads: Single female archaeologist interested in carbon dating. Prefers older men.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can always count on yourself if you use your fingers.

 

[done_got_old]

Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker.

 

[done_got_old]

Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.

- Samuel Goldwyn

 

[Eisranac]

She was only a cow man’s daughter, but all the horse men knew her

That is a load of...well...you know.

An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out.

Let me sleep on that one and I will get back to you.

https://i.imgflip.com/v4lvq.jpg

I will bet that someone on Literotica got a rise out of this.

Personal ads: Single female archaeologist interested in carbon dating. Prefers older men.

She can dig that.

No bones about it.

You can always count on yourself if you use your fingers.

If you toe the line, you can doubly count on yourself.

Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker.

You must be less out of breath these days now that you are no longer panting.

Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.

Um...

...this is Literotica. Which head are you talking about?

 

[done_got_old]

You know what really bugs me? Flea Markets.

 

[Eisranac]

You know what really bugs me? Flea Markets.

I have the best solution: simply flee.

Back on topic: my aunt really bugs me. Not being able to fly really bugs me. Seeing someone smoking a roach really bugs me. Hearing Gnat King Cole Slaw sing really bugs me...

...but I try not to let those things tick me off. As The Beetles once sang, let it bee.

 

[done_got_old]

I planned to find my watch today, but I didn't have the time.

 

[Ask For More]

I planned to find my watch today, but I didn't have the time.

Do you know when you can clock out of work?

 

[mnbreastluver]

With all the recent bans on plastic straws, it's only a matter of time before someone will be able to truthfully exclaim: "This is the last straw!"