Puns

[EmpressJosephine]

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/1d/0e/95/1d0e95cb2bddd2e72b23a9b3e065563b--sad-quotes.jpg

 

[Eisranac]

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/1d/0e/95/1d0e95cb2bddd2e72b23a9b3e065563b--sad-quotes.jpg

Unfortunately, those are the ins and outs of dealing with sexual innuendos.

 

[done_got_old]

Did you hear about the pilot who always had work? He was great at landing a job.

 

[Eisranac]

Did you hear about the pilot who always had work? He was great at landing a job.

Was that job a fashion model on the runway?

 

[done_got_old]

I've heard that the airplane industry is really taking off and reaching new heights.

 

[Eisranac]

I've heard that the airplane industry is really taking off and reaching new heights.

...and when the tail end of that streak occurs as a result of the Delta of that equation leaving those airlines no longer United, the commercial aviation industry will really feel soar and complain about how un-American that is...

 

[done_got_old]

They come from a long line of bakers. They're inbred.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You have to be odd to be number one.

 

[Eisranac]

They come from a long line of bakers. They're inbred.

Well, as with some guys on Literotica, they have to rise to the occasion...

...and if they quit their jobs and worked for a certain rental car company, their slogan would be Wheat Rye Harder.

You have to be odd to be number one.

Even so, one is the loneliest number — and two can be as bad as one...

 

[done_got_old]

The inventor of throat lozenges has died.

There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

 

[Eisranac]

The inventor of throat lozenges has died.

There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

You do not know how to keep a Sucret all to yourself, do you?

 

[done_got_old]

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

 

[Eisranac]

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

...then they decided to go camping afterwards.

It was in tents.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Suction cups suck when they don’t suck. But when they do suck, they don’t suck.

 

[done_got_old]

Why was Sunday mass canceled? Nun showed up.

 

[done_got_old]

Seated in economy class in a budget airlines cash strapped, I tightened my belt all the way!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you live in the German city of Hamburg, then you’re a Hamburger.

 

[done_got_old]

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

 

[Eisranac]

Suction cups suck when they don’t suck. But when they do suck, they don’t suck.

That sucks.

Vacuum cleaners suck, too.

Why was Sunday mass canceled? Nun showed up.

Perhaps they all went to Sunday Conn. instead of Sunday Mass.?

If they all traveled together, that would be Mass transit.

The Maine thing is not the state in which they worship; but that they worshipped at all.

Seated in economy class in a budget airlines cash strapped, I tightened my belt all the way!

Sometimes you have to buckle down and pay more for a better seat — but the less hip people believe that that is a waist of money.

If you live in the German city of Hamburg, then you’re a Hamburger.

...so if you decide to break into houses in that city and rob them, are you a Hamburglar?

If you live in the German city of Frankfurt, are you a Frankfurter?

If so, well...hot dog!!!

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

I see no foundation to that rumor.

Can you please provide some concrete evidence — or are you just covering the truth and leading a sheltered life?

 

[done_got_old]

The man's pants zipper broke, but he fixed it on the fly.

 

[Eisranac]

The man's pants zipper broke, but he fixed it on the fly.

I do not understand: how can a zipper be fixed on a winged insect?

 

[mnbreastluver]

If spiderman bit a man and he inherited spiderman's powers, he would be spidermanman

 

[Eisranac]

If spiderman bit a man and he inherited spiderman's powers, he would be spidermanman

That ascribes to the similar theory of counting:

One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Tenteen
Eleventeen
Twelveteen
Thirteenteen
Fourteenteen
Fifteenteen
Sixteenteen
Seventeenteen
Eighteenteen
Nineteenteen

...and so on.

 

[done_got_old]

The librarian didn't know what to do with the book about Tesla's love of electricity, so he filed it under 'Current Affairs.'

 

[done_got_old]

A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, “Wow! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.