Puns

[done_got_old]

William Tell was not only a great patriot and a great archer, he was also a great cook.

One day, after he had prepared a new dish for his friends, he said, "I think there is one or more spices missing. What do you think?"

Their answer was, "Only thyme, Will Tell!"

 

[done_got_old]

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

 

[troubledone]

DGO had swell swells

 

[done_got_old]

DGO had swell swells

What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than "A" bra

 

[Ask For More]

One of my favourites:

https://68.media.tumblr.com/76af0da7339bdd18de6d31b3ef1ffadd/tumblr_ne31glrzhh1tybi3fo1_500.jpg

 

[ayame34G]

One of my favourites:

https://68.media.tumblr.com/76af0da7339bdd18de6d31b3ef1ffadd/tumblr_ne31glrzhh1tybi3fo1_500.jpg

That is one of mine too.

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

 

[done_got_old]

A pediatrician is a doctor of little patients.

 

[prof39]

There's no fuel like an old fuel - - David and Richard Koch

 

[done_got_old]

There's no fuel like an old fuel - - David and Richard Koch

rotflol

 

[MessierObject]

I've always enjoyed the taste of space rocks, they're just a little meteor

 

[Ask For More]

Mountains aren't funny, they are hill areas.

 

[done_got_old]

I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

Whenever I get a new pair of shoes, I beat the bottoms with a hammer because I heard that compression is good for the sole. ..

 

[done_got_old]

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

[Ask For More]

The cost of a space program is astronomical.

 

[Ask For More]

https://68.media.tumblr.com/808c7ea529c4eb9a99288125329aba2f/tumblr_onpqexxvQJ1ul07vlo1_540.jpg

 

[ThirdShift]

The scarecrow received an award for being outstanding in his field.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

They came and took down a tree in front of our apartment. Now I'm stumped....

 

[done_got_old]

A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot.

 

[shadowofaman]

I'd like to thank the woman who ran the the last few miles of yesturday's marathon with no sports bra on. The lack of support got me through.

 

[done_got_old]

Bakers share their bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

Having a tree fall on you when you're chopping it down makes you an axey moron...

 

[Ask For More]

Why can't you email a file to a Jedi?

Attachments are forbidden.

 

[done_got_old]

Ninety eight percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If a blind woman tells you your penis is huge she is most likely just pulling your leg.