punishment

[learningmore85]

To start let me tell you a little about myself. I'm married and happily so. My husband and have been exploring bdsm style play. I have found I love being submissive and giving up control to him. However he is heistant to push things sometimes and in the past I believe I have given mixed signals. We are both learning how this will work foe us and I love getting to know this side of our relationship.

With that said I feel like right now I need more guidance in the area of punishment than he is ready to explore. He will spank me and use a crop on me and I even bought a dowel rod from the hardware store which he used on me once, but I'm wanting more. I want to give up control and be punished and carry out some elses will, which includes humilating myslef and pain. My husband is not ready to do this yet but I hope one day he will be. But for now I need so help in this area.

Im looking for suggestions and perhaps assignsments to complete that would satisfy , the need to submit to others, experience humilation, and/or pain. But that also, at times have a reward element. I am also fascinated with the idea of giving myself an enema and followed by a punishment style enema. I think the entire process of going to the store, buy the enema and other supplies for it as well as other items to take the experiance from embarrassing to humilating, completing a clensing enema and the a (safe) punishment enema, as well as having some instructions on how else to abuse myself during the enema process and what to do after that, would be incredibly arousing. I've been fantasizing about that a lot lately. I have some time in the next few weeks to devote a good chunk of time to this punishment but feel I need more instruction on how to carry this out.

I would love any suggestions on the enema fantasy or other punishment. However I can not try any punishment that will get me into trouble legal, one I don't want that kind of trouble and two I could lose my job. I want safe suggestion, and I will not do any physical acts with anyone other than my husband. I am open to many things and want to try different punishments and I'm willing to reply back on how my experiences go.

Thank you for your time, helpfulness, and thoughtfulness. Any suggestions will help!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Edit: Aargh, I completely misread your post, my apologies! You obviously already know your husband's limits.

I'll come back with some buttplay suggestions in a little while.

The problem for him, may be the humiliation aspect.

It goes pretty much against most people's morals to humiliate someone they love and respect. Physical stuff is a piece of cake compared to that-- in fact, I do not know many dominants that have a real relish for it, and they will tell you they have had to really think it through, acquire a very deep understanding of the psychology, the needs, and-- really important-- How they themselves can continue to respect that person afterwards.

My suggestion to you is that you join fetlife.com and look for community resources there. If there are events in your area. look into them. See if you can find-- actual classes on the subject you are interested in. Hearing that other people love this stuff too, sometimes is what a person needs to give themselves permission to start exploring it.

But really, if he says he can't humiliate the woman he loves to that extent? Don't try to coerce him into it. I am sure that you have heard of limits-- tops and dominants can have them as well, and they need to be respected.

 

[leighannste17]

I agree, you really can't make people try things that they are not comfortable doing. It's important to be honest with your husband about it. If he can't do it, then he can't do it. It doesn't mean you can't explore it. If your upfront about it and you let him know you still love him, I'm sure it will all work out.

I remember, I wanted to blindfold this one guy once, I asked him if it was alright, all I was doing was giving him a back rub, and he wasn't into it. So I stepped back, and let it go, rather then pursue it, and make him feel pressured about it. Life is all about compromise, and communication.

Good luck to you though! I hope it works out for you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Okay, so-- fun with enemas;

A domme I know recommends this one; insert an alka-seltzer tablet first, then add water... She says make sure you do it either in the tub, or with plenty of towels under you.

An added punishment, I think is to force yourself to admit that you aren't doing it for punishment but because it gets you hot, you filthy little beast.

 

[learningmore85]

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate the advice without being judged for my desires.

 

[DarbyJones]

Not sure how helpful this will be but its really something you need to explore together,imho. Have you tried reading BDSM stuff together? It might be possible to nudge him in the direction you need him to go from this...?