Punishment?

[ammre]

When punishing with pain always make sure you are level headed when doling it out. Do not hit someone in anger. Cool off, think about the infraction. Come back to the person. Have them outline what they did wrong. Do what needs to be done, and move on. Do not do anything that could reenforce this as a desirable outcome. Do not cuddle. Ideally, do not use a form of play for punishment. I slap shoulder blades. I don't slap people's shoulder blades when playing. That is reserved for punishment. It also FUCKING SUCKS, so it's legitimately undesirable.
I've really only had to employ this with a particular brat I play with.

I know subs/slaves who feel they need punishment. They want it to make things right in their world. If they fuck up they will tear themselves to shreds mentally and emotionally if they do not have some way to make amends for it. My one friend is currently pregnant, so her daddy is loathe to harm her. Instead he applies more clever forms of punishment. She's a diehard leftie, so he'll record glenn beck and rush limbaugh segments and make her listen to them via headphone. Then she must outline their segments and make supportive arguments FOR them.
I'd rather be slapped on the shoulder blades.

For any fantasy fiction geeks out there, the punishment is to regain their toh. (Yeahh wheel of time reference)

 

[JamieJ424]

Punishment doesn't have to be exclusively negative reinforcement for the sub. It can and should be something positive for the dominant. In other words, punishment can be something she does for you to make up for disappointing you or not meeting the goals you have agreed on.

In other words, to use an example proposed by the OP, having her leave the bathroom door open while peeing could work, IF she knew it was something that would simulataneously embarrass her and please you.

There are plenty of ways to be creative and subtle with punishment. It just takes knowing the other person and a little thought and creativity.

J

 

[seela]

Punishment doesn't have to be exclusively negative reinforcement for the sub. It can and should be something positive for the dominant. In other words, punishment can be something she does for you to make up for disappointing you or not meeting the goals you have agreed on.

This is the point where things stop making sense to me. If I did something that he enjoys, I'd pretty much enjoy it too, on some level, and then in my mind the situation would cease to be a punishment and become more of a play type thing. Then again, if it were something he didn't have any strong feelings about one way or another, it'd be easier for me to connect to it as a punishment.

Being banned from watching TV or using the internet would be a great punishment, or being made eat cauliflower, or not being allowed to eat ice cream or something. Those are things that don't affect his life one way or another, but certainly affect mine, and thus in my mind would make perfect punishments.

Also, if the D liked the punishments, wouldn't that make it tempting to whip up situations where he would be able to administer them?

I'm just glad we don't do the punishment thing. It would be too much work for my overloaded little mind. I much prefer he makes me eat cauliflower because he can instead of it being a punishment.

 

[AngusMan]

This is the point where things stop making sense to me. If I did something that he enjoys, I'd pretty much enjoy it too, on some level, and then in my mind the situation would cease to be a punishment and become more of a play type thing. Then again, if it were something he didn't have any strong feelings about one way or another, it'd be easier for me to connect to it as a punishment.

Being banned from watching TV or using the internet would be a great punishment, or being made eat cauliflower, or not being allowed to eat ice cream or something. Those are things that don't affect his life one way or another, but certainly affect mine, and thus in my mind would make perfect punishments.

Also, if the D liked the punishments, wouldn't that make it tempting to whip up situations where he would be able to administer them?

I'm just glad we don't do the punishment thing. It would be too much work for my overloaded little mind. I much prefer he makes me eat cauliflower because he can instead of it being a punishment.

That would depend on the type of infraction and the type of punishment used. For instance, my sub does like to tickle me, and since I don't really mind, I spank her, which is something she actually enjoys.

Now if she did something that really was wrong, that would actually upset me, then I would try something that she wouldn't like, such as the peeing suggestion earlier.

Its all about reinforcement, either positive or negitive. There is playful "punishment" and there is true punishment. Playful "punishment" is more positive, while true punishment is definately negative.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

This is the point where things stop making sense to me. If I did something that he enjoys, I'd pretty much enjoy it too, on some level, and then in my mind the situation would cease to be a punishment and become more of a play type thing. Then again, if it were something he didn't have any strong feelings about one way or another, it'd be easier for me to connect to it as a punishment.

Being banned from watching TV or using the internet would be a great punishment, or being made eat cauliflower, or not being allowed to eat ice cream or something. Those are things that don't affect his life one way or another, but certainly affect mine, and thus in my mind would make perfect punishments.

Also, if the D liked the punishments, wouldn't that make it tempting to whip up situations where he would be able to administer them?

I'm just glad we don't do the punishment thing. It would be too much work for my overloaded little mind. I much prefer he makes me eat cauliflower because he can instead of it being a punishment.

See, I wouldn't enjoy it if he called it punishment, because I'd be too busy freaking out about what I must've done wrong to disappoint him.

I'd much rather do things just for fun. "Punishment" is not a positively reinforcing word by it's very nature.

 

[seela]

See, I wouldn't enjoy it if he called it punishment, because I'd be too busy freaking out about what I must've done wrong to disappoint him.

I'd much rather do things just for fun. "Punishment" is not a positively reinforcing word by it's very nature.

Actually this might be the case. I haven't been punished all that much, other than in the playful manner way back when, so it's often difficult for me to wrap my head around this stuff. But surely you would get an explanation of what you're being punished for, so you wouldn't have to wonder?

But yes, doing things for fun or just for the sake of doing them works for me, too. Punishment I just don't get.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Actually this might be the case. I haven't been punished all that much, other than in the playful manner way back when, so it's often difficult for me to wrap my head around this stuff. But surely you would get an explanation of what you're being punished for, so you wouldn't have to wonder?

But yes, doing things for fun or just for the sake of doing them works for me, too. Punishment I just don't get.

Well, if it actually *was* for those reasons, then yes, I get told.

But if he was doing something we liked, and called that punishment, without it intending to be punishment really, then I'd wig out.

Now, I don't think that even made sense.

 

[Aurantica]

Tie her down and tickle her. After 5 solid minutes, its not so much fun, but not painful. And no marks, either.

 

[AngusMan]

Tie her down and tickle her. After 5 solid minutes, its not so much fun, but not painful. And no marks, either.

Great idea. Only problem is, she isn't ticklish.

 

[Aurantica]

Great idea. Only problem is, she isn't ticklish.

Not even her feet?

 

[AngusMan]

Not even her feet?

Nope. There is one tiny spot where she is tickleish, and its just below her armpit, but not the armpit itself.

 

[ImOnIt]

Nope. There is one tiny spot where she is tickleish, and its just below her armpit, but not the armpit itself.

This post should be stickied.

 

[NJMilfdom]

punishment, discipline and play

I see a lot of people were like me and confused by the word punishment and what is intended. To that end I use three word now so my sub is not confused over my intent

1. Punishment. Something unpleasant (for her) that I do or ask my sub to do as a result of wilful disobedience on her part. Examples are writing assignments, masturbation denial, caning etc. In all cases the punishment should not be pleasant for the sub and normally isn't for me either. Repreated wilful disobedience (blowing off an assignment, failing to do something agreed to without a good excuse, failing to show up as agreed) usually spells the end of a relationship.

2. Discipline Using permitted (checklist) technicques to train your sub to act / perform the way you want. Using positions, nipple torture, hiar pulling, anything that gets your sub's attention to act the way that you want her to act.

3. Play spanking your sub or any other action which your sub finds highly desirable and wants you to do to her.


I hope that helps you