Public play

[celticsunspiral]

I have only played twice in public, sort of. Once was a demo at a bar and once at a play party. At the time thoughts of others wasn't really in the front of my mind, but later, yes it made it pretty HOT. Of course one time I was blindfolded and the other I just closed my eyes and didn't look, so aside from others telling me later that people were watching I had no idea at the time.

I don't think I could / would play where others (not into the scene) are obviously subjected to it though. One because of my job, but two because I wouldn't want something like that in front of my daughter or niece and nephew. At the bar it was different we were away from the main room so they had to chose to come watch.

 

[whoremaker]

If there's no kids watching, play away. I find the idea that one can be "assaulted" or have something "inflicted" upon them simply by seeing some sex to be utterly absurd and laughable. If you don't like what you see, then look away.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

If there's no kids watching, play away. I find the idea that one can be "assaulted" or have something "inflicted" upon them simply by seeing some sex to be utterly absurd and laughable. If you don't like what you see, then look away.

It's not the sex itself, it's the bdsm elements that would be the main problem, even though forcing people to witness the sex is bad enough. Have you even remotely considered that if you did something that was perceived as abusive in public, that you could emotionally harm someone who had been abused for real in the past? Someone who didn't ask to be put in such a situation and who did nothing to deserve it? Do you think they should just 'look away'?

And don't even get me started on public decency laws...

 

[FurryFury]

If there's no kids watching, play away. I find the idea that one can be "assaulted" or have something "inflicted" upon them simply by seeing some sex to be utterly absurd and laughable. If you don't like what you see, then look away.

I completely disagree with you in this. One certainly can be assaulted and/or have something inflicted on them. The general public hasn't consented to be part of your scene. Oh, and then there are issues of possibly being arrested depending on just what you are doing in public.

 

[A_Kefka]

Just thought I'd ask this. I am also not for the idea of public sex where you could easily be seen by people who would be bothered by it, whether its vanilla sex or kinkier stuff. But what do people think of semi-public but hard to see places. Say for example a 4th or 5th story hotel balcony, where yes its public and you could be seen, but someone would almost have to be trying in order to see you.

 

[JMohegan]

If I see male-on-female violence of any kind, without clear indication of the female's consent to the scene, whether on a balcony far above or across the room in a bar, I consider myself honor-bound to intervene.

Whether that means calling the cops, or grabbing the guy by the scruff of the neck, or something else, would depend on the circumstances.

 

[Primalex]

Have you even remotely considered that if you did something that was perceived as abusive in public, that you could emotionally harm someone who had been abused for real in the past?

Maybe (s)he was abused by some guy who always wore yellow pullovers. Does this mean I can't wear them anymore?

What when PETA shows another nearly nude model on a poster? I'm quite sure there are zillions of people who feel offended by such nudity.

What about a poster like


http://linda03.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/media-blog-benetton-breast-feeding.jpg

Add half of America who would see this as "offensive".

Someone who didn't ask to be put in such a situation and who did nothing to deserve it? Do you think they should just 'look away'?

Yes.

 

[A_Kefka]

If I see male-on-female violence of any kind, without clear indication of the female's consent to the scene, whether on a balcony far above or across the room in a bar, I consider myself honor-bound to intervene.

Whether that means calling the cops, or grabbing the guy by the scruff of the neck, or something else, would depend on the circumstances.

I was refering more to sex than violent bdsm scenes. If a couple is still in public but in a place that you have to try to see them do people find it ok or is it still to exposed.

 

[JMohegan]

I was refering more to sex than violent bdsm scenes. If a couple is still in public but in a place that you have to try to see them do people find it ok or is it still to exposed.

Just plain old exhibitionism, with or without groping, sucking, fucking, whatever?

If it's visible to passersby or the building across the street or whatever, I'd describe that as rude - though there are things people do in public that are much ruder. If a child with me noticed, I'd use it as a teachable moment.

 

[rosco rathbone]

If I see male-on-female violence of any kind, without clear indication of the female's consent to the scene, whether on a balcony far above or across the room in a bar, I consider myself honor-bound to intervene.

Whether that means calling the cops, or grabbing the guy by the scruff of the neck, or something else, would depend on the circumstances.

You and I would end up punching each other out and never knowing that we were brothers from another mother.

 

[intothewoods]

You and I would end up punching each other out and never knowing that we were brothers from another mother.

Really? You're ok with discipline in public?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Maybe (s)he was abused by some guy who always wore yellow pullovers. Does this mean I can't wear them anymore?

Not the same thing.

You can't know that a jumper could have that effect, but you can know a violent act would, by the inherent nature of the act.

What when PETA shows another nearly nude model on a poster? I'm quite sure there are zillions of people who feel offended by such nudity.

What about a poster like


http://linda03.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/media-blog-benetton-breast-feeding.jpg

Add half of America who would see this as "offensive".

There's a world of difference between emotional harm and offence.

I agree, if someone is offended, then they can indeed look away. They shouldn't have to, because people should have a little more public decorum, but they can.

 

[DVS]

It's not the sex itself, it's the bdsm elements that would be the main problem, even though forcing people to witness the sex is bad enough. Have you even remotely considered that if you did something that was perceived as abusive in public, that you could emotionally harm someone who had been abused for real in the past? Someone who didn't ask to be put in such a situation and who did nothing to deserve it? Do you think they should just 'look away'?

And don't even get me started on public decency laws...

You can also damage any good press the BDSM lifestyle has by forcing it upon people who don't want it.

Sure, they can look away, but what some might do is call the police and you're in jail that night for indecent exposure or abusive and lewd sexual activity in public. If an under age child happens to be near by, add indecency with a minor to the charges.

Show a little class. Consenting adults, only. Don't think it's the same? It's not, but deal with it anyway. Improvise. Role play.

 

[JMohegan]

You and I would end up punching each other out and never knowing that we were brothers from another mother.

An unfortunate confluence of destinies, no doubt.

Really? You're ok with discipline in public?

I'm not into discipline, but I've done a lot outside that would prompt a guy like me to intervene.

Not intentionally in front of other people; I neither seek nor want that type of exposure - and sure as hell don't want to be arrested. But I haven't always confined my more vigorous activities to the privacy of my own home.

Something about the woods in particular turns me on. You've got a very distracting name, by the way.

 

[intothewoods]

An unfortunate confluence of destinies, no doubt.


I'm not into discipline, but I've done a lot outside that would prompt a guy like me to intervene.

Not intentionally in front of other people; I neither seek nor want that type of exposure - and sure as hell don't want to be arrested. But I haven't always confined my more vigorous activities to the privacy of my own home.

Something about the woods in particular turns me on. You've got a very distracting name, by the way.

I try.

Things happen in the moment, but if someone felt they had to intervene on my behalf, I would feel like a jerk for wasting their time. Still, there are somewhat subtle things you can do in public.

 

[SimonBrooke]

It's not the sex itself, it's the bdsm elements that would be the main problem, even though forcing people to witness the sex is bad enough. Have you even remotely considered that if you did something that was perceived as abusive in public, that you could emotionally harm someone who had been abused for real in the past? Someone who didn't ask to be put in such a situation and who did nothing to deserve it? Do you think they should just 'look away'?

And don't even get me started on public decency laws...

You know, I kind of call bullshit on this.

Yes, its not polite to force people who don't want to, to watch you fuck. But actually you can't force them to watch you fuck. Fucking in public places - in forests, on moors, on hillsides, on beaches, in urban parks at night - is something I've done a lot and enjoyed a lot, and the partners who've done it with me have enjoyed it too. I have occasionally done it when other people were in sight (but at a distance). One of the partners with whom I have done it used to be greatly excited by the possibility of being seen (whether or not she would have enjoyed the actuality of being seen I don't know, but knowing her I suspect so).

I'm utterly unpersuaded that even children are psychologically scarred for life by Exposure to the Primal Scene. I'm bloody certain that adults aren't. So, if, one day, someone should actually stumble upon me fucking a partner up in the forest, they have two choices. They can choose to watch, or they can choose to look away.

Yes, it probably is technically illegal to have sex in a public place. But if there's no-one around, it's a pretty victimless crime. And if there is someone around, if they don't choose to look they won't be offended. So let's not get all Victorian here.

 

[Netzach]

I don't care about scarred for life, but there's a certain amount of no one wants to see that shit, really, even if you feel so cool.

I've done public stuff, but no one would identify it as sex, just weird. Reaction IS a part of it, but it's more like experimental sociology than "oo look titty"

It's hot in retrospect, in the moment it's just adrenaline.

I don't make H do anything I can't afford to post bail on. Ever. If you're the big bad Dom, expose away, but you should always be able to post bail and get the lawyer for anything your jollies might lead to.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

You know, I kind of call bullshit on this.

Yes, its not polite to force people who don't want to, to watch you fuck. But actually you can't force them to watch you fuck. Fucking in public places - in forests, on moors, on hillsides, on beaches, in urban parks at night - is something I've done a lot and enjoyed a lot, and the partners who've done it with me have enjoyed it too. I have occasionally done it when other people were in sight (but at a distance). One of the partners with whom I have done it used to be greatly excited by the possibility of being seen (whether or not she would have enjoyed the actuality of being seen I don't know, but knowing her I suspect so).

I'm utterly unpersuaded that even children are psychologically scarred for life by Exposure to the Primal Scene. I'm bloody certain that adults aren't. So, if, one day, someone should actually stumble upon me fucking a partner up in the forest, they have two choices. They can choose to watch, or they can choose to look away.

Yes, it probably is technically illegal to have sex in a public place. But if there's no-one around, it's a pretty victimless crime. And if there is someone around, if they don't choose to look they won't be offended. So let's not get all Victorian here.

You know, I rather mean public places where the public is present...

But then, I figured that's what people were aiming for when they meant public play. Not 'oh gosh, there's a slight chance we might get caught way out here, that's so hot' but, I'm happy to stand corrected.

And hey! I *am* Victorian! Probably not the kind you mean though...

 

[whoremaker]

What's all this talk about violence, discipline and BDSM? I thought the topic was public play. I never said I want to beat my wife in the face at the mall.

I stand by my assertion that if someone sees a couple having some fun, then either watch and enjoy, or look away and move along. Public sex may not be a right, but neither is never being offended or bothered, and don't even begin to argue that seeing some sex is "assault" as that is complete bullshit. Sex is as natural as life gets. If someone is too big a prude to accept that, then their problems lie somewhere other than in seeing me doing the wife doggy over the hood of the car.

This all makes me want to take the wife downtown and get a blowjob in the middle of an intersection.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

What's all this talk about violence, discipline and BDSM? I thought the topic was public play. I never said I want to beat my wife in the face at the mall.

I stand by my assertion that if someone sees a couple having some fun, then either watch and enjoy, or look away and move along. Public sex may not be a right, but neither is never being offended or bothered, and don't even begin to argue that seeing some sex is "assault" as that is complete bullshit. Sex is as natural as life gets. If someone is too big a prude to accept that, then their problems lie somewhere other than in seeing me doing the wife doggy over the hood of the car.

This all makes me want to take the wife downtown and get a blowjob in the middle of an intersection.

Yeah, I know, it all got a bit off track.

Opinions aside, think about this: We live in an increasingly OTT PC world these days. Sex in public is not the kind of sexual harrassment that's technically against the law (as in, it's not a workplace, or an educational institution, etc) but all it takes is for one person to be offended, regardless of your take on what you did, and for them to decide to take it further which could end up making your life hell.

Not saying it's guaranteed to happen, but this IS the 21st century, and people are hung up about all kinds of shit. Is a bj in public worth the possible grief it could cause?

I'd say no. Others may disagree.

 

[intothewoods]

Yeah, I know, it all got a bit off track.

Opinions aside, think about this: We live in an increasingly OTT PC world these days. Sex in public is not the kind of sexual harrassment that's technically against the law (as in, it's not a workplace, or an educational institution, etc) but all it takes is for one person to be offended, regardless of your take on what you did, and for them to decide to take it further which could end up making your life hell.

Not saying it's guaranteed to happen, but this IS the 21st century, and people are hung up about all kinds of shit. Is a bj in public worth the possible grief it could cause?

I'd say no. Others may disagree.

We also live in a world where privacy is practically a thing of the past.

I think there are things more rude than fucking in public, but it's still somewhat obnoxious. Here's the thing - if you're really into being watched (and not just caught up in the heat of the moment), there are good opportunities for that at play and sex parties.

 

[skinnysinner]

Publci but private?

The riskiest thing I have tried was when my partner wore long flowing skirt, took off the knickers but left on the stockings. We sat on a nice bench and took a quick break in passing public to get her settled onto my cock with her skirt around. To the few people that passed us by we were a kissing couple, but it was both scary and hot at the same time. No offence to the people passing by but...

 

[radepor]

Limited Experience

Wasn't BDSM. Just vanilla sex.

Several years ago, my wife and I enjoyed boating on the Great Lakes. The boat was a small cruiser (slept six, galley, head, fully instrumented upper/lower helm). The command bridge was about 9 feet off the water.

We could have, and often did have, sex in one of the berths below; however, it was very exciting to get out on the lake(s), get naked and have fun on the bridge. The only obstacle to passing boater's view was a one-inch safety rail around the perimeter of the command bridge since the seats were almost flush with the top of the bridge.

Typically not in congested areas but viewable.

p.s. Wasn't referring to the traditional seats, with backs, in the middle of the bridge. Forgot to explain the seats ringed the outer edge of the bridge, long enough to lay down on (or lay down on a partner) at the edge of the bridge where viewing was...enhanced.

What are some things your other has had you do in public, but not where others see. For instance my wife made me made take off pants after a trip to town and made play with cock all the way home it was at night so she turned on interior light that way when we stopped at red light people can see. any other good ideas.

 

[callinectes2]

Something about the woods in particular turns me on.

He he..that's the beauty of being part-owner of several hundred acres of family timber land. We check on the "timber" pretty regularly.

 

[SimonBrooke]

You know, I rather mean public places where the public is present...

But then, I figured that's what people were aiming for when they meant public play. Not 'oh gosh, there's a slight chance we might get caught way out here, that's so hot' but, I'm happy to stand corrected.

And hey! I *am* Victorian! Probably not the kind you mean though...

OK, fair enough. I agree it would be rude to do it in a place where lots of people would certainly see, and especially so if there might be children about.

What's all this talk about violence, discipline and BDSM? I thought the topic was public play.

For the avoidance of doubt, although I have just referred to 'fucking' in this thread, I also mean both bondage and punishment (sometimes) and enforced nudity (frequently). I have done these things and will continue to do these things in places which are technically public but where in practice the public are unlikely to be. I make no apology.

I've never performed at a public play party; if I had a partner who wanted to, I would not be averse.

Something about the woods in particular turns me on.

Amen to that, Brother. Amen to that!

If I see male-on-female violence of any kind, without clear indication of the female's consent to the scene, whether on a balcony far above or across the room in a bar, I consider myself honor-bound to intervene.

While I agree with the sentiment (and would probably do the same) I hope this never happens! I cam imagine the explanations being most... embarrassing, for all concerned.