Psychology of "selective" bicurious men

[Mr_Twister_242]

I've never mentioned this to anyone, but I'm actually a little bicurious. I have no interest in anal, but sucking cock is something I've fantasized about. And I could see myself doing that, in the right circumstances. Now, before you all start sending me dickpics, I have to specify that I only feel attracted to a small subset of men or transsexuals. I have no interest whatsoever in those outside that subset.

Now the curious part (pun intended), and also the reason I start this thread, is that I find it hard to identify what particular characteristics this subset have in common. It's definitely not big cocks, on the contrary. At first I thought it might be female features, but that is not entirely true either, I may not like hairy chests but I don't mind a muscled one for instance. It's not a particular hairstyle, or body type, then again perhaps a bit more the athletic type. As you may notice, already trying to describe my preference here is difficult, and I instantly doubt every statement again.

So my question is mainly whether there are any publications about this kind of "selective" bisexuality and the psychology around it. Or maybe some of you more experienced may recognize this and can provide their point of view. Maybe there are different types and I'm just one of those without realizing, or maybe my preference is just unique and hard to explain? So any insights more than appreciated.

PS: If anyone feels the need to pm me, please go easy on me. And just don't do it if you would find it difficult to accept rejection, I can't force myself to find you attractive after all.

 

[Escierto]

I believe that it’s impossible to rationally explain one’s sexual preferences. I have zero attraction to men but I am extremely attracted to transgender women. My girlfriend is transgender and a pure top. I love being her bottom and servicing her both orally and anally. For me she is the ideal partner.

 

[nostuff]

From the standpoint of fantasy, I totally understand what you're saying. I have my own fantasy, which is a man larger than I (I'm about 5-foot-9 and a few pounds shy of 190) with a big cock; built well, though not musclebound; definitely masculine so he can dominate me. And I imagine my dreamboat most every day.

And then there's the reality of whom I'm actually willing to fuck. I've experienced men of various sizes, shapes and colors, and not one matched my fantasy. And I've yet to be disappointed (OK, there was one who was a bit of a jerk).

My point, I suppose, is that you should enjoy the hell out of your fantasies, and analyze away if that makes you happy. But don't let the dream get in the way of a good fuck. You could waste a lot of years waiting for Mr. Perfection.

 

[ericrodman101]

I’m not expert in psychology but I think this is a question about nature or nurture, will or Instinct. I think you got closest to the truth when you talked about a type. I think we all have a type. It may not be simply a physical type, but it starts that way in my experience. I have a particular type which I can talk about more If you want. Not every man I’m attracted to is that type, but if I’m shopping around, I look for the type. It’s my starting point Every time. Why do we have a type? It’s simply what I find attractive like colour or music or food or any preference. It suits my taste in men. And just because I prefer curry doesn’t mean I don’t like cake sometimes.

 

[GZbilly]

I do understand the OP's point of view. I am let's say "picky" about things I like and things that just do not turn me on. To elaborate and take it to my own preferences, I love many features of beautiful women and can on about that, but as of late, what I really dream about and masturbate about and seek out are pics and vids of trans women that then have beautiful penises. It does not matter how big, but I have a desire to see cum, to wish it was all over me, to touch and suck a penis, to be seduced and taken in, or to be the seducer, and to be someone's secret lover in places such as this. I am not ready to make this public in my own life circles but I have these thoughts and desires and I get so excited when I see any of it. I find I am now more attracted to trans women of a certain "look" that excites me than to women that, well, do not have a penis.

I want to explore this and chat with these wonderful and brave people! And I want to be free to express my desires and share them with them. I have picky tastes with what I find to be attractive and hot, and it matters. Of course, the person with whom I have any relationship should be respectful and cool and nice and fun and all, and personality is huge but looks and sex is the key to this exploration.

I am very bi-curious to learn more and find the right people--male or female, trans female--to enjoy good banter and fun with. I find and download many pics and gifs and vids of bodies and faces and features I find hot, and often times it could be a sexy-dressed woman, or a sexy trans woman, or a gay man, or two penises rubbing, etc. Then I scroll these on my computer as a slide show and masturbate while watching until I cum on my "partner" of the moment.

To find someone else who has this same need and wants to share this kind of thing with me would be so hot! If you are out there, I have so many passions to share! Imagine the freedom!

 

[GZbilly]

I believe that it’s impossible to rationally explain one’s sexual preferences. I have zero attraction to men but I am extremely attracted to transgender women. My girlfriend is transgender and a pure top. I love being her bottom and servicing her both orally and anally. For me she is the ideal partner.

I think it is possible to explain or outline all the little things that come together to form sexual preferences. I think it is possible to share what one likes and then see if someone else out there is into the same stuff. After all, if it's how you like it, then that is what you hope to find. I am happy for you that you found a great trans gender gf and I would love to explore that myself but online for now. I dont even know how to start but for now, the vids and pics and gifs I have seen have provided hours of self pleasure!

 

[Lifestyle54]

I do understand the OP's point of view. I am let's say "picky" about things I like and things that just do not turn me on. To elaborate and take it to my own preferences, I love many features of beautiful women and can on about that, but as of late, what I really dream about and masturbate about and seek out are pics and vids of trans women that then have beautiful penises. It does not matter how big, but I have a desire to see cum, to wish it was all over me, to touch and suck a penis, to be seduced and taken in, or to be the seducer, and to be someone's secret lover in places such as this. I am not ready to make this public in my own life circles but I have these thoughts and desires and I get so excited when I see any of it. I find I am now more attracted to trans women of a certain "look" that excites me than to women that, well, do not have a penis.

I want to explore this and chat with these wonderful and brave people! And I want to be free to express my desires and share them with them. I have picky tastes with what I find to be attractive and hot, and it matters. Of course, the person with whom I have any relationship should be respectful and cool and nice and fun and all, and personality is huge but looks and sex is the key to this exploration.

I am very bi-curious to learn more and find the right people--male or female, trans female--to enjoy good banter and fun with. I find and download many pics and gifs and vids of bodies and faces and features I find hot, and often times it could be a sexy-dressed woman, or a sexy trans woman, or a gay man, or two penises rubbing, etc. Then I scroll these on my computer as a slide show and masturbate while watching until I cum on my "partner" of the moment.

To find someone else who has this same need and wants to share this kind of thing with me would be so hot! If you are out there, I have so many passions to share! Imagine the freedom!

I have enjoyed performing this same exercise for the greater half of my adult life. Like you I find the beauty of a Trans person so alluring and the “perfect” penis so arousing. There are times when my attention is fixated on other aspects, legs and feet, shoulders and faces, full body poses, etc. Regardless, the pleasure of masturbating with the mental fantasies that the images induce has been and continues to be a source of intense pleasure.

 

[Jerseyguy22]

I feel the same exact way

 

[Escierto]

I find myself looking at trans women with a nice, cut cock. I can fantasize about her as a woman, but part of it is sucking that cock to completion and swallowing every last drop.

I'm not attracted to masculine men, but a trans woman (or passable CD) is a big turn on. Why? Who the fuck knows, it just is.

Would you do more than suck?

I have often wondered about my attraction to my beautiful girlfriend and my willingness to be her bottom. Actually quite more than willing!

 

[Escierto]

Not sure, to be honest. I haven't had the opportunity to test those limits.

Are you looking for the opportunity? You might surprise yourself. Back when she was dating, my girlfriend was able to talk guys into allowing her to fuck them.

 

[Lifestyle54]

I find myself looking at trans women with a nice, cut cock. I can fantasize about her as a woman, but part of it is sucking that cock to completion and swallowing every last drop.

I'm not attracted to masculine men, but a trans woman (or passable CD) is a big turn on. Why? Who the fuck knows, it just is.

One of my recurring fantasies being that of a public date with a passable, or androgenous CD, where the evening progresses thru flirting and petting on the dance floor concluding with a weekend spent dancing in the sheets together.

 

[Escierto]

One of my recurring fantasies being that of a public date with a passable, or androgenous CD, where the evening progresses thru flirting and petting on the dance floor concluding with a weekend spent dancing in the sheets together.

You can make it happen.

 

[FrckldNgry]

OP - You could learn to skip the labels, accept who you are, and enjoy what you find sexually attractive or appealing.

 

[Mr_Twister_242]

OP - You could learn to skip the labels, accept who you are, and enjoy what you find sexually attractive or appealing.

The topic isn't about acceptance, it's about understanding. I totally accept who I am, but unlike my attraction to females, I find it hard to understand my attraction to males.

Let me put that differently, I guess that I find maybe 95% of females attractive. The other 5% would be seriously disfigured, or ladies displaying a clear lack of hygiene. Of course within that 95% I still find some more attractive than others. The thing is I can usually explain why: I prefer redheads to blondes or brunettes, I prefer firm, round, medium-sized boobs to huge melons or tiny ones, I prefer a nicely trimmed pussy to a shaven one or a wild bush.

A wild guess would be that I find 50% of transgenders attractive, and it's clear that this attraction roughly correlates with having a more feminine appearance (albeit with a cock), the facial expression in particular.

With males I maybe find only 5% attractive. But the thing is that here I don't see any obvious patterns what this 5% of men have in common. It's not feminine traits, it's not a particularly big penis, I just can't identify what these guys have in common.

 

[Mr_Twister_242]

I may be in the boat! I’m 70, MWM, average cock and not great shape, but not overweight. In the last 7 years, for whatever reason, I have lost interest in sex with my wife. Some of it might age, some might be from some ED from Parkinson’s, not full blown Parkinson’s but some. I can still masturbate when watching gay porn and always eat my cum. I have always been curious as long as I can remember, but most guys don’t appeal to me. Some cocks do, but not large ones. I feel that it would have to be someone like me, someone I could hang out with and sometimes be suck buds. But at my age, I feel that it will remain just something I wish would happen.

Interesting, this a about the closest to my own experience I've seen here so far.

The only thing I do wonder : you lost interest in your wife but only talk about gay porn and fantasies about guys. Maybe I'm jumping the wrong conclusions here, but it sounds to me like you are not losing interest in your wife specifically, but in females altogether. I always thought sexual preference wasn't something that changes over time, only our own realization and acceptance of it, but if my assumptions here are true, then that might not be the case.

Either way, I hope you may find someone like-minded that you find attractive to fulfill your fantasies.

 

[Escierto]

The topic isn't about acceptance, it's about understanding. I totally accept who I am, but unlike my attraction to females, I find it hard to understand my attraction to males.

Let me put that differently, I guess that I find maybe 95% of females attractive. The other 5% would be seriously disfigured, or ladies displaying a clear lack of hygiene. Of course within that 95% I still find some more attractive than others. The thing is I can usually explain why: I prefer redheads to blondes or brunettes, I prefer firm, round, medium-sized boobs to huge melons or tiny ones, I prefer a nicely trimmed pussy to a shaven one or a wild bush.

A wild guess would be that I find 50% of transgenders attractive, and it's clear that this attraction roughly correlates with having a more feminine appearance (albeit with a cock), the facial expression in particular.

With males I maybe find only 5% attractive. But the thing is that here I don't see any obvious patterns what this 5% of men have in common. It's not feminine traits, it's not a particularly big penis, I just can't identify what these guys have in common.

Very interesting post. You are very generous in your attractions. Good for you! I wish I could be so generous.

I find 5 to 10% of women attractive but then I live in the US in Texas and the women here are very unappealing. Lots of obesity and very few skinny women which is my preference.

I find nearly all men physically repulsive except for the few who are androgynous looking.

 

[Mr_Twister_242]

Very interesting post. You are very generous in your attractions. Good for you! I wish I could be so generous.

It's all a bit relative of course. A big chunk of that 95% I would only consider 'moderately' attractive. I obviously do have standards and still aim for that much smaller percentage that is 'very' attractive. ;-)

 

[FrckldNgry]

The topic isn't about acceptance, it's about understanding. I totally accept who I am, but unlike my attraction to females, I find it hard to understand my attraction to males.

Let me put that differently, I guess that I find maybe 95% of females attractive. The other 5% would be seriously disfigured, or ladies displaying a clear lack of hygiene. Of course within that 95% I still find some more attractive than others. The thing is I can usually explain why: I prefer redheads to blondes or brunettes, I prefer firm, round, medium-sized boobs to huge melons or tiny ones, I prefer a nicely trimmed pussy to a shaven one or a wild bush.

A wild guess would be that I find 50% of transgenders attractive, and it's clear that this attraction roughly correlates with having a more feminine appearance (albeit with a cock), the facial expression in particular.

With males I maybe find only 5% attractive. But the thing is that here I don't see any obvious patterns what this 5% of men have in common. It's not feminine traits, it's not a particularly big penis, I just can't identify what these guys have in common.

Could it be that the men you do find attractive exhibit features of males that may have been some positive part of your life experience growing up especially teen years and early 20s? Idols, bosses, coworkers, leaders, educators, coaches and even your own inner image of what to you would be the optimum male could be reflected in and have some association with attractiveness for you.

I'm not college educated but do have 40+ years of adulthood experience with questioning my own sexuality and what I find enticing or attractive in others - male, TG and female. My own tastes in other people is quite similar to yours. So I will be following this topic to read and think on what other responses you receive.

 

[Mr_Twister_242]

Could it be that the men you do find attractive exhibit features of males that may have been some positive part of your life experience growing up especially teen years and early 20s? Idols, bosses, coworkers, leaders, educators, coaches and even your own inner image of what to you would be the optimum male could be reflected in and have some association with attractiveness for you.

Interesting question. I'm not sure I can answer that straight away, but I will pay attention to it next time and see if there might be some truth in this.

 

[Astroman72]

Yeah, it's a complicated question.

Although I'm only drawn to women for serious relationships, I think I've always subconsciously been drawn to gay sex as kind of a super-exciting form of masturbation. I'm totally drawn to cocks that look like mine: thick, white, circumcised. The only big turn-off for me is excessively overweight or unhygienic, or dominant, aggressive, controlling guys.

I guess for gay sex I'm mostly turned on by guys like me---averagely masculine, and versatile when it comes to topping or bottoming.

 

[drobert44]

Yeah, it's a complicated question.

Although I'm only drawn to women for serious relationships, I think I've always subconsciously been drawn to gay sex as kind of a super-exciting form of masturbation. I'm totally drawn to cocks that look like mine: thick, white, circumcised. The only big turn-off for me is excessively overweight or unhygienic, or dominant, aggressive, controlling guys.

I guess for gay sex I'm mostly turned on by guys like me---averagely masculine, and versatile when it comes to topping or bottoming.

That's me, I had only one gay top. Loved sissies, but they aren't really men. Women are fun, but drama.

 

[mtsnowrider]

Interesting questions. Clearly, we are not all attracted (fortunately) by the same things. I realize that I am both attracted and intimidated by beauty in both men and women. The reason for the attraction is obvious but it can be diminished if I discover there is not much intelligence behind the beautiful face and body. As a counterpoint, intelligence and personality can vastly increase a person's attractiveness (though there are limits ). The major turn on for me is an attractive body. The chubby chaser love of a big belly is beyond my understanding as is the straight attraction to a female big butt.
I realize that creating or imposing those limits reduces the chances that I will act on my cravings. Its a kind of self imposed safety net.
Why intimidated? Many years ago I dated a staggeringly beautiful woman. When we were in public together every straight guy in a bar or restaurant would turn to look at her. After a while I realized that even though I truly enjoyed being with her it made me so anxious that I just could not deal with it and I broke up with her. No doubt a shrink would have a field day analyzing my deep seated feelings of bring inadequate and unworthy.
Anyway, I find myself passively hoping to meet that local smart, witty and attractive (but not too attractive) FWB.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Love of one’s self is sexy and attractive!!

 

[KinkStevens]

I used to waste my time trying to understand the psychology of why I like this and why I’m attracted to that. Then I learned there are so many facets and factors that go into sexuality and ones sexuality changes so much, that its best to just be or not be. Enjoy what you want and enjoy the ride or repress how you feel and go nuts on the inside lol

 

[Escierto]

I used to waste my time trying to understand the psychology of why I like this and why I’m attracted to that. Then I learned there are so many facets and factors that go into sexuality and ones sexuality changes so much, that its best to just be or not be. Enjoy what you want and enjoy the ride or repress how you feel and go nuts on the inside lol

Very true. I spent a lot of time worrying about whether I was gay for wanting a woman with a cock and it took me a decade to get the nerve to finally meet one. What a waste but better late than never!