Pseudo-cooking

[Huckleman2000]

Lots of them -- most fall under the umbrella of "Basic Splat."

Basic Splat is any combination of approximately one pound of protein (meat), 2-4 cups of Stomach Ballast (pasta, rice, beans, etc) and a "binder" (tomato sauce, condensed cream soup, cheese sauce/soup, etc.)

The best investment you can make for cheap meals is a case of mushroom soup, a case of tomato sauce and a very large jar of seasoned salt. A fe w cans of Cheddar Cheese Soup. (If you're one of those weirdos who don't like mushrooms, Cream of Celery soup is almost a suitable subsitute.

Excellent information! I particularly like the Basic Splat generic recipe - there is much ancestral wisdom in that simple concept. Either you lived through the depression or are close to people who did, or else you did some time in institutional cooking, such as the armed services. That sort of practical distillation just doesn't happen anymore. [eidit to add] thanks for the Cream of Celery soup substitution. I'm definitely a mushroom weirdo. I've learned to like many things - brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, spinach, tomatoes, eggplant... mushrooms just don't go down without gagging.

My Mom was born in 1926, the oldest of nine kids, and she can make a meal out of stuff I didn't even know I had! God forbid you give her a recipe. She's a fantastic cook, but I doubt if she'd know saute' from stir-fry from something else. She just does it, and none of my three older sisters know anything from it. I'm completely mystified, but I suspect there's an underlying unifying concept that would make it all clear - like your Basic Splat. Anyway, my Mom's never been able to articulate it. Did I mention she makes gravy without a mix? No lumps. The one thing we ever run out of at Thanksgiving is gravy. Everyone wants more. Everyone pours it over the turkey, the dressing, the mashed potatoes, it's the only thing that everyone insists on being reheated, and when it's gone... Thanksgiving is over.

She makes German Potato Salad, and I don't think anything goes to waste. The bacon drippings are integral to the recipe. There's not a lot of them, but they get mixed in with the other stuff, and nothing seems to get measured, but everything turns out delicious each time, and my sisters have been shown how to do it and none of them can do it. I'm going to film her making it before she dies, just to give future generations something to study - like Stradivarius making a violin.

 

[Antfarmer77]

No one makes stir fry anymore? Slice up LO steak, chicken etc. then vegetables, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots etc. Soy sauce, a little vinegar, brown sugar and ginger, all in one pan...Viola'! Oppps...ok...i don;t know the Chinese word for Viola'

 

[Weird Harold]

Excellent information! I particularly like the Basic Splat generic recipe - there is much ancestral wisdom in that simple concept. Either you lived through the depression or are close to people who did, or else you did some time in institutional cooking, such as the armed services. That sort of practical distillation just doesn't happen anymore.

I'm 57 (today) so I didn't live through the depression, but I have (and still do) lived most of my life on a very strict budget. I don't know if you're familiar with "Stone Soup" but it's something that I've had more than once.

I do a lot of cooking with Long Grain rice. The one can of soup/sauce, one can of water, one can of rice ratio is the main secret to one-dish meals with Rice -- it's basically two parts liquid and one part rice and simmer covered for thirty minutes. You have to adjust the cooking time to suit your stove a bit once you figure out how it cooks and how you like your rice done. (a bit under-done works best for freezing leftovers and microwaving them later.)

My Mom was born in 1926, the oldest of nine kids, and she can make a meal out of stuff I didn't even know I had! God forbid you give her a recipe. She's a fantastic cook, but I doubt if she'd know saute' from stir-fry from something else. She just does it, and none of my three older sisters know anything from it. I'm completely mystified, but I suspect there's an underlying unifying concept that would make it all clear - like your Basic Splat. Anyway, my Mom's never been able to articulate it. Did I mention she makes gravy without a mix? No lumps.

Making gravy without lumps is just a matter of stirring constantly -- whether it's from Turkey drippings and corn starch or hamburger grease, flour and milk.

I think your mom would surprise you with her knowledge of sautee, stir-fry and other cooking terms. She may not use them, but she knows what they are. I think she probably uses recipes more than you might think, too -- at least as a starting point for her own versions. At least that's what I do; I take an existing recipe and adapt it t suit my tastes and what I have on hand. The trick is knowing what each ingredient does for the recipe.

"Potatoes a la grandpa" is an adaptation of the recipe for "potatoes au gratin" in the Betty Crocker cookbook -- I just used condensed soups instead of mucking about with making my own white sauce and grating cheese; the layering and cooking time/temp is straight from the cookbook.

Not all of my adaptations and shortcuts (like making gravy in the microwave from a bullion cube, water and cornstarch) work exactly right the first try -- but I usually wind up with something workable.

 

[Huckleman2000]

No one makes stir fry anymore? Slice up LO steak, chicken etc. then vegetables, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots etc. Soy sauce, a little vinegar, brown sugar and ginger, all in one pan...Viola'! Oppps...ok...i don;t know the Chinese word for Viola'

Soy sauce i can probably gauge, but vinegar, brown sugar, and ginger, I need more guidance. Like, what kind of vinegar and how much; and also ginger - I'm clueless about ginger. I have some in my spice cabinet, and it's a powder. I look in the vegetable aisle, and it's a root. When I've had sushi, it's sort of like a pink carrot shaving. I don't understand ginger at all.

Also, what is LO steak?

I'm sorry, you're dealing with a complete cooking imbecile here.

One of the things I've learned from this thread is that I need to get a 2-qt covered casserole dish. I had to look it up to see what it is.

Pretend you're talking to a six-year old who's started to outgrow the EZ-Bake oven. That's about where I'm at.

 

[Antfarmer77]

Soy sauce i can probably gauge, but vinegar, brown sugar, and ginger, I need more guidance. Like, what kind of vinegar and how much; and also ginger - I'm clueless about ginger. I have some in my spice cabinet, and it's a powder. I look in the vegetable aisle, and it's a root. When I've had sushi, it's sort of like a pink carrot shaving. I don't understand ginger at all.

Also, what is LO steak?

I'm sorry, you're dealing with a complete cooking imbecile here.

One of the things I've learned from this thread is that I need to get a 2-qt covered casserole dish. I had to look it up to see what it is.

Pretend you're talking to a six-year old who's started to outgrow the EZ-Bake oven. That's about where I'm at.

LO= Left Over
I use the powdered ginger because I don't use it very often and I'd end up throwing out more fresh ginger than I'd use. I use red wine vinegar. How much of all this to use depends on how much you're making, I don't measure, I put some in and then let it simmer for a bit then taste it.

 

[Weird Harold]

Pretend you're talking to a six-year old who's started to outgrow the EZ-Bake oven. That's about where I'm at.

One place to start learning how to adapt is a box of hamburger helper. The noodles in hamburger helper are no different than the same style of noodles in a big bag in the pasta section -- they're just about five times as expesive.

Look at the dried veggies and other ingredients in hamburger helper and figure out which you like and which you need to reproduce.

By studying the instructions on Hamburger helper, I've figured out how to make Spaghetti and Chili-mac in one pan by cooking the pasta in the sauce instead of separately. (you have to water the sauce down a bit, so that you have a ratio of about 1.5 cups of sauce to 1.0 cups of uncooked pasta.) The only real problem is keeping spaghetti from sticking together into a solid lump.

I also don't cook with pre-made spaghetti sauces; I use plain tomato sauce and Mc Cormick's brand "Italian Seasoning" and a bit of extra oregano. Tomato sauce is much more versatile than pre-made sauces because I can decide to make chili or spaghetti or some other tomato based version of basic splat without having to stock several different kinds of sauce.

I do "cheat" by using canned mushroom soup, although I do know how to make a white sauce or cream soup from scratch -- The results are just more consistent with canned soups.

The main trick to "adaptive cooking" is understanding how pasta, rice, and beans cook. The rest is just learning from your mistakes as far as spices and other ingredients are concerned.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I'm 57 (today) so I didn't live through the depression, but I have (and still do) lived most of my life on a very strict budget. I don't know if you're familiar with "Stone Soup" but it's something that I've had more than once.

Happy Birthday! This is also my son's birthday, so you've gained a lot of free good will from this proud Dad.

I do a lot of cooking with Long Grain rice. The one can of soup/sauce, one can of water, one can of rice ratio is the main secret to one-dish meals with Rice -- it's basically two parts liquid and one part rice and simmer covered for thirty minutes. You have to adjust the cooking time to suit your stove a bit once you figure out how it cooks and how you like your rice done. (a bit under-done works best for freezing leftovers and microwaving them later.)....

That's good to know. You seem to have a knack for distilling a variety of cooking to easy-to-execute formulas that allow for variety, without a lot of risk.

"Potatoes a la grandpa" is an adaptation of the recipe for "potatoes au gratin" in the Betty Crocker cookbook -- I just used condensed soups instead of mucking about with making my own white sauce and grating cheese; the layering and cooking time/temp is straight from the cookbook.

Not all of my adaptations and shortcuts (like making gravy in the microwave from a bullion cube, water and cornstarch) work exactly right the first try -- but I usually wind up with something workable.

As you say, "The trick is knowing what each ingredient does for the recipe."

I'm someone who thinks a Hamburger Helper seasoning packet is an ingredient.

 

[Weird Harold]

Happy Birthday! This is also my son's birthday, so you've gained a lot of free good will from this proud Dad.

Does your son know that Disneyland turns 51 today -- that's always been the more "important" birthday for me.

That's good to know. You seem to have a knack for distilling a variety of cooking to easy-to-execute formulas that allow for variety, without a lot of risk.

As you say, "The trick is knowing what each ingredient does for the recipe."

Most of what I know about cooking was learned at an early age, so it's was a pretty simplistic version of "survival" cooking. The rest comes from trying to provide as much variety from basic staples -- macaroni, rice, dry pinto beans -- as possible because buying "ready-made" stuff wasn't in the budget. For the price of two large cans of chili, I can pretty much buy enough dry beans, tomato sauce hamburger, and chili powder to make more chili than I can eat in a week.

I'm someone who thinks a Hamburger Helper seasoning packet is an ingredient.

In a way, it is an ingredient -- some of the hamburger helper flavors are just too expensive to duplicate from, especially the three and four cheese blends. But if you look around, you can often find the flavoring blends without the thickeners and preservatives in the hamburger helper package.

For example -- Orvil Redenbacker sells a popcorn topping that is very close to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese's flavor packet; one jar of the popcorn topping and a bag of plain macaroni makes about ten times as much M&C as a regular box of Kraft M&C.

The seasoning packet from a box of hamburger helper's beef stroganoff is actually very close to the same seasoning that Dinty Moore uses in their beef stew -- a packet of hamburger helper seasoning, a pound or two of stew meata few veggies, some potatoes and a couple of quarts of water in a slow cooker and viola -- a passable substitute for Dinty Moore's beef stew.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Ramen Noodles! I lived off those in college... that and those frozen chicken pot pies and boxed M&C (not Kraft, couldn't afford Kraft) and don't forget the power of the egg!

LOTS of stuff you can do with Ramen noodles:

Ramen Noodle Breakfast
1 package of Ramen (Any flavour)
1-2 eggs
1 onion
1 SMALL tomato

Put just enough water in a casserole to be able to cover the block of ramen. While you wait for it to boil, cut some slices of tomato and onion. When the water has boiled, put in the ramen and seasoning, then cover with a nice layer of tomato and onion slices, and pour a whole egg on the top. Put on a lid, wait for it to boil just enough for your liking and serve!

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Bacon Ramen (if you can afford bacon)

1 packet of Oriental style noodles
4 Slices of Bacon chopped
A Few Chopped Green Onions
1 Dash of worcestershire Sauce

Fry up the bacon, and then drain. Pour out all but 1 or 2 tablespoons. In the pan
add the seasoning packet and stir. Prepare the ramen according to the directions.. Top with a few green onions and a dash of worcestershire.

-----

Fake Cordon Bleu

One package chicken flavor ramen
One or two, slices ham
Shredded swiss, or cheddar, or both

Prepare ramen as package indicates. While the ramen cooks, dice up the ham into small pieces, and shred cheese. Drain ramen, mix in ham, and top with cheese.

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My favorite Ramen recipe:

Peanut Sauce Ramen

1 package Ramen noodles. (throw away flavor packet)
1/3 cup peanut butter.
1 Tsp. garlic powder
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. sugar
1/3 cup water
Sprinkle of cayenne to taste


Place the ingredients (except ramen) in a bowl. STIR WELL and microwave for 30 seconds. Cook the noodles like you normally do. When they are finished strain the noodles until fairly dry. Pour in the peanut sauce to taste. (MmMM!)

----

Shrimp and Egg Ramen

1 package of shrimp flavored ramen
1 hard boiled egg

Cook the egg and peel it ahead of time. Make noodles as per instructions, pour out the water, so you just have shrimp flavored noodes left. Add your egg (cut in half) and any seasoning. If you can afford meat, you can add shrimp to this!

-----

Ramen & Eggs for more than one

2 packages chicken flavored ramen noodles
6 eggs
2 teaspoons butter
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Place noodles in a saucepan filled with boiling water, reserving the seasoning packet. Cook until tender, and drain. In a medium bowl, whisk together the eggs and seasoning packets from the noodles. Mix in noodles. Melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the noodle mixture, and cook over medium-low heat until firm, 5 to 7 minutes. Cut into fourths, and turn over to brown the other side for 1 to 2 minutes. Sprinkle cheese over the top, and serve.

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my 2nd favorite Ramen recipe:

Garlic Noodles

Boil a brick of your favorite flavor Ramen noodles in a saucepan for five minutes, then drain off the water. Stir in the seasoning packet, 1/2 teaspoon powdered garlic, and 1 Tablespoon of butter or margarine.

-----

Ramen Dessert (for more than one)

Cook 4 pkg. Ramen noodles, broken up as much as possible, in water. Drain. Add 1 cup sugar, 1 cup heavy cream, 1 tsp. cinnamon, and 1 Tbsp. vanilla. Cook over medium heat until thickened, stirring constantly. You can add 1/2 cup raisins or chopped dates if you like them. Sprinkle a bit of cinnamon-sugar on top as a garnish just before serving.

 

[Antfarmer77]

I did fail to mention, that when i make some sort of "one pan wonders" and Wifey isn't here, I eat it out of the pan I cook it in, so there's even fewer dirty dishes.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Chili:

1 lb ground beef
small can of tomato soup
small can of dark kidney beans
two small cans of pork n beans
chili powder, salt, pepper, onions (or onion powder) to taste (I make this, but a bigger recipe).

Soup:

fill large pot with water, let it boil
dump pound of frozen mixed vegetables
dump pasta (I use elbow)
add 1 can stewed/diced tomatoes
use any seasoning you'd like (I usually add ketchup for flavor)
if you want to cheat and use a second pan, you can add hamburger meat

 

[BlackShanglan]

I have the worst craving for a pot of trash tonight.

 

[CopyCarver]

Don't overlook MFK Fisher's famous recipe for "Sludge," which she claimed would feed a family of four for four days for only 50-cents: ground beef, crushed whole grain cereal, chopped-up carrots, cabbage, and other "coarser, tougher, cheaper vegetables"--all mixed into a paste, boiled, drained, and allowed to congeal into a soggy "frisbee."

''You can eat it cold and not suffer much, if your needs are purely animal and unfinanced, but if you can heat what you want two or three times a day it will probably taste much better,'' Ms. Fisher wrote. She further claims that in addition to being good for people, it is ideal fare for dogs.

I guess it would beat starvation--but not by much. I suspect my dog would agree.

 

[Munachi]

mamaliga cu branza si smantana ... erm... boil some water, pour some corn flower for polenta into it, stir it for a while. eat with feta cheese and cream if you find any, else just melt some normal cheese into it or eat it by yourself. makes very full very quickly.

 

[Munachi]

does food without a cooking pan count? when i am very lazy i usually just put a big potato in the microwave and eat that with cheese or tomato or something.

 

[Huckleman2000]

does food without a cooking pan count? when i am very lazy i usually just put a big potato in the microwave and eat that with cheese or tomato or something.

Sounds good to me!

 

[minsue]

I have the worst craving for a pot of trash tonight.

Poor horsey. Come on over, we'll make ya whatever you want.

 

[kendo1]

Does no-one in the colonies cook real food anymore?
Why did we leave you to your own devices?

A favourite (English UK spelling) for the kids just now is a nut loaf I make. It makes the kids grow, so it must be good.


2 table spoons oil. I use extra virgin olive oil.
1 leek or 1 onion finely chopped
1 or 2 cloves garlic, crushed (or forget about it if you don't like it)
6 oz/ equivalent to 6 slices/3 cups breadcrumbs
I use brown or wholemeal bread.
16 oz/3 cups mixed nuts and raisins (it's best to give them a quick zap in a food processor or give them a whack with a rolling pin)
1 1/2 cups water/stock/wine- preferably wine. I normally use white, sometimes red. Or use beer!
2 teaspoons fresh herbs/1 teaspoon dried mixed herbs
2 table spoons plain flour
4 oz/1 cup dried cranberries or blackcurrants, or any other dried fruit(dried apricots work well if they are chopped up)

Now the easy bit.

Turn your cooker on to 180C/ gas mark 4

Heat the oil in a large pan on the hob.
Add the leek/onion- cook until soft.
Add the garlic.
Give it a stir.
Add the mixed nuts/raisins and the breadcrumbs.
Add the other dried fruit.
Stir well.
Add the liquid.
Add the herbs.
Season with pepper and salt.
Add the flour.
Stir well.

This should take about three minutes.

Grease a loaf tin if you have one.
I use Flora/soft margarine/olive oil.
If you don't have a loaf tin use a lasagne dish/casserole dish or foil.

Individual portions cooked in ramekin dishes are good. I reckon 6 to 8 dishes and reduce the cooking time- 25 to 30 minutes

Put the mixture in the greased dish and place in the oven for 35 to 40 minutes on the bottom shelf.

I normally serve the nut loaf with a light gravy.
Roast veg cooked at the same time is great with it.
I parboil potatoes, sweet potatoes/ parsnips while I'm getting the nutroast ready, and then roast them on the top shelf of the oven at the same time as the roast.

Serve with redcurrant jelly/cranberry jelly.
I normally boil carrots, sweetcorn and peas to serve with it too.
And caramelised carrots.

Don't forget to drink a glass of wine/beer while you are cooking.

Ken

 

[fallenupright]

Tasty Tuna Pasta

INGREDIENTS:
8 ounces dry fettuccine pasta
1 (6 ounce) can tuna, drained
1 (15 ounce) can peas, drained
1/2 (16 ounce) jar Alfredo-style pasta sauce
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add pasta and cook until al dente (slightly firm, not pasta mush); drain and set aside.
Add tuna, peas, Alfredo sauce, garlic powder, oregano, and basil; mix well.
Cook until heated through, serve when no longer cold.

I like it with sundried tomato Alfredo sauce.

 

[JRaven]

Cowboy Stew

In a 1 qt sause pan, brown 1/2 lb of hamburger. Carefully drain into camp fire and watch the flames.
Add one can of pork and beans.
Drain the fluid from a can of vegetable soup into the morning's dirty coffee cup. Add the vegetables from the soup to the sauce pan. Stir to combine ingredients, heat until warm enough. If additional liquid is needed, pour from coffee cup.
Crumble a snack size bag of Fritos, then open. Ladle stew into bag.
If you use a plastic spoon, you'll only have the coffee cup and a sauce pan to wash for the day.

Of course, if you're looking to save on dirty pans, my husband cooks everything on the grill.

Jenny

 

[minsue]

Does no-one in the colonies cook real food anymore?

Cooking has had its own threads. This is pseudo-cooking. Pbbbbt!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I have the worst craving for a pot of trash tonight.

oh my god, I was JUST saying that this thread had set me up with HUGE cravings for this stuff, now!

 

[matriarch]

No one makes stir fry anymore? Slice up LO steak, chicken etc. then vegetables, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots etc. Soy sauce, a little vinegar, brown sugar and ginger, all in one pan...Viola'! Oppps...ok...i don;t know the Chinese word for Viola'

Yep.....

Stir fry is my favourite one pan meal. Either chicken strips, or beef strips, or prawns or bacon. If I have none of them, then simply a whole medly of vegetables.....carrots, broccoli, celery, onion, mushrooms, beansprouts, bell peppers....a sprinkling of coy sauce, some water to make the sauce. Serve immediately and burn your tongue.

 

[matriarch]

Liver casserole

Take pigs liver, chop into pieces, brown in a little oil in a large iron casserole pot. Chop and add one onion, carrots, tin of baked beans, some frozen peas and sweetcorn, swede and parsnip diced if available. Finally peel and chunk potatoes and place on the top. Add a couple of bay leaves. Cover the whole thing with water, stir, put on the lid and bake in the oven for an hour.

The tomato juice from the beans, the juices from the liver and the water make incredible gravy.

Even my youngest eats this, and took the recipe with him to college. Apparently he was a great favourite when he cooked it.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Liver casserole

Take pigs liver, chop into pieces, brown in a little oil in a large iron casserole pot. Chop and add one onion, carrots, tin of baked beans, some frozen peas and sweetcorn, swede and parsnip diced if available. Finally peel and chunk potatoes and place on the top. Add a couple of bay leaves. Cover the whole thing with water, stir, put on the lid and bake in the oven for an hour.

The tomato juice from the beans, the juices from the liver and the water make incredible gravy.

Even my youngest eats this, and took the recipe with him to college. Apparently he was a great favourite when he cooked it.

ew
ew
ew
ew
ew
ew
ew
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

sorry...
flashbacks to "forced liver bites"... hours at the table...
ick
ew

I'm sure there are people who LOVE it... there must be...

*shudder*