Whew, goodness
. My hands would've reflexively gone into action & for the briefest of moments, we both would've thought I was a skilled fighter. 
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Hell yes. Not only should you expect to be treated with respect, but you should be vocal and unwavering about it. If that guy can't provide it, it's on to the next one. Being submissive is a gift. You don't get to squander my gift.
. I really hope it helps because sometimes, myself definitely included, we're just one uplifting word away from giving up. So, that's what we're here for: each other
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Thank you for all of this. I found this site because of the stories and then rather stumbled on the forum (I had been more wishful thinking honest, not realistically honest, on my profile because I didn't realize it was easily seen).Hi you beautiful submissives out there (of all genders).
With so many new subs entering our Lit space each day, I thought this might be some good advice to share. Consider this Part II of my other PSA: Dom ā Asshole.
While I consider myself a switch, enjoying both the role of Domme & sub, I'm a sub at heart.
If all this online play has taught me anything, it's that my submission has to be earned. Additionally, while being under someone else's control and receiving degradation from them (a preference of mine, but not all D/s relationships require degradation) is nice & hot, it very much means nothing if there is no trust involved & if I'm not taken into consideration as a general person. Don't get me wrong, I want to be nothing more than a human fleshlight at times, but at the foundation of that, my online partner has to still respect me.
I said all this to say that, no, you don't want any and every thing your Dom/Domme wants without any regard to your wants and needs.
When I see some subs stating that they simply want to take whatever their Dom gives & that they have no real wants, needs, limits, thoughts, & feelings beyond that...well, it reads like the musings of an amateur sub.
You need to establish trust with a Dom/Domme & ensure that they genuinely respect you & your submission before you let them take full control of the reins.
My kinks are certainly darker & more taboo in nature, but even in that, trust & respect have to exist first before we can properly delve into those things; and certainly before you assume you can throw my kinks in my face ad nauseam. "You like being a slut, so I'll treat you like a faceless bitch." Yeah no, fuck that. I get to say when things progress into darker territory once I'm comfortable.
Your comfort, consent, & yes, opinions, are so paramount as a sub.
Now go forth & please your Doms/Dommes that are worthy of your submission. If they treat you any less than what you 100% want out of the dynamic, correct them or move on.
How beautiful. I'm so beyond glad that this thread has helped you in some way. . 
I love absolutely everything you said. Thank you, again. Please don't mind me if I follow you, like a very courteous baby duck, and read more of the amazing thoughts you've shared.
Yes, I will continue repeating myself because I'd be remiss without telling you more directly that your safety and comfort are so very important before you offer your submission. And I really like how you worded it: you should very well have the D/s relationship that you've imagined. Though, I'd prefer for your true Dom & your interaction with him to far exceed your imagination
Also, ignore the faceless, nameless, forceful, rude spewings from undeserving men on here. Their horniness is not your problem.
Awwww, thank you for your kindnessI love absolutely everything you said. Thank you, again. Please don't mind me if I follow you, like a very courteous baby duck, and read more of the amazing thoughts you've shared.
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Yes, so many fakes out there. Glad they were useful to you in discovering what you are and what you need - and don't need!I have to say my experience with proclaimed Doms on here hasn't been great, but I did learn a lot. Mostly that I'm not a natural sub, that I can play a sub role if the man knows what he's doing, and that hell will probably freeze over before I do it again.
So, little courteous duckling, give me a taboo example. Please.
I love hearing stories where a girl comes into the knowledge of her submission and gains strength from it. To find the yang to your yin unexpectedly is the finest example of truth you will get
Thanks. Good one.
Sounds like the generalizations of a "Dom" who's run into this specific thing only a handful of times or less and now assumes all subs will behave accordingly.
Trope, huh? Again, a D/s relationship entered into by adults should be treated with an adult mindset. I don't care about the misinformation that's out there. Once you're here with me, we talk things out, calmly.Hmmm, I wonder why that is? Context is everything. People who, for example, argue against sexism & racism as being actual, modern day issues, fail to look at the historical context of things. Similarly, in the grand scale context of things, women and subs are frequently harrased by those who claim to be "Doms" but are actually just entitled, egotistical assholes.
Very much like playing 'hard to get' is not 100% of the time a test if the dominant gives up. That's the whole point - there is no 100%, there is no universal right choice that shows that someone is a "true dominant" and there is no magic capability that allows the dominant to make a better guess than other people. The best thing you can achieve is maybe the opposite - expose character flaws.
Is it? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I get to test if the submissive is a submissive and when she fails my test, declare that she is not a true submissive?
Neither is showing that you are well versed in being a Dom. None of this is mind reading. It is your jaded interpretation as such.
I see what you are saying. For the sake of argument, we could say a "quality Dom." Still, the fact remains that, contextually, there are a plethora of people out there claiming to be a Dom when in fact, they just have a mild, passing fascination with the idea of being in a control. Subsequently, they think their misinformation entitles them to the fullness of the sub experience. That's just not the case. Every D/s endeavor will be unique to those people involved. @Otis_Ravelli 's point was a that fake Doms will (those who have no discipline to learn and research how to be the best Dom for your partner) expect subservience thinking it's the same as submission. Further, a deserving Dom will take the time to know when a sub is posing a challenge. Not that a) all subs do or b) mind reading is required. That simply means a quality Dom will be more in tune with his sub, even inquiring further if needed, as you mentioned. Instead of hastily calling the sub a cunt for not bowing down immediately & discarding her.
Sir, in a 2-way street relationship, you get to do lots. But again, what you're saying is based on the misunderstanding that someone is expecting mind reading by simply wanted to gain trust and a foundation first.
Here, the point is that a person truly interested in a D/s dynamic won't easily fly off the handle when met with push back. A simply, "hey, this isn't what I want" is fine. Or the sub could express intentions up front. The issue becomes subs who are met with harassment because they dare to not completely & undyingly submit upon first contact. It's easy to spot the fake Doms who just want a reason to verbally abuse or they want to find a way to use you.
Thank you!
See, being mistaken for someone playing to hard to get, when I say āNo, thanks.ā, is actually more of a problem for me than someone being rude at that point.
Yup, because meeting people and getting close to them, the part I bolded is super important.
Yes, I think this is a lot about context.
I think everyone would agree with that, but I thought we were discussing the people who expect subservience before there is any his about the sub.
Sounds suspiciously like adulting, but yes this.
