bluntforcemama
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That's me. If you knew my sexual history, you'd think I was a nun. Amazing, isn't it? So how about you? Are you a prude?
Prude and Proud!
- Thread starter bluntforcemama
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Problem Child
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I'm a prune...sure.
morninggirl5
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Myst said:
I was having out-patient surgery and a friend was there. The nurse gave me the obligatory paperwork to sign and mentioned that the pregnancy test was negative. My friend looks at me and asks why they did a pregnancy test. The nurse told her they always do one so the surgery can be postponed if necessary. My friend asked the nurse, "Didn't she tell you she was a nun?"
Most of my family and friends would say I'm nunlike. (A select few know better.)
Shy Tall Guy
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Myst said:
I don't think being a prude is indicated by your history, but rather by your attitude. You don't have to have a different partner every night to be lascivious.
Somehow I doubt that anybody that regularly visits this site is a prude.
STG
bluntforcemama
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STG
I don't know, I've had the opportunity to become intimate with several men... and I only chose two. Is that attitude?
I don't know, I've had the opportunity to become intimate with several men... and I only chose two. Is that attitude?
Mustang Sally
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Myst said:
It sounds to me like a healthy respect for yourself and maybe having a good idea of what you really want. Nothing at all wrong with it.
My magic number became four this week. I've always made really bad relationship choices, and I've come to regret the first three. Hopefully the fourth will be better.
bluntforcemama
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Mustang Sally...I'm rooting for you! This could be the lucky one! 
You have a PM.
You have a PM.Shy Tall Guy
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Re: STG
I don't know - what was your attitude when you were intimate with them? You probably showed prudence not prudery.
That is my point - it is not how many lovers you have had, but how you had them, if you get my drift.
I have not had a lot of sex partners, I only once engaged in casual sex - and regretted it afterward. I think the price can be too high - emotionally, physically and financially - and not just on me.
I have a friend who always has plenty of women. I used to be jealous of how easily he picked up women. But it turned out that he just is not very particular; they usually are physically attractive, but they are just as often flakey, just plain weird and unintelligent. Very few of them have I liked. He also has a number of children by different ladies, most of which he never sees, and does not support financially. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I am no longer jealous.
To me, in this context, a prude is someone who doesn't enjoy sex, maybe is ashamed of sex, and looks down their nose at people who enjoy sex. You can be promiscuous and still be a prude, you can be celibate and still be lascivious.
It is like someone who eats too much food, not because they enjoy it, or are even hungry, but because they are addicted to it. They are not a gourmand, they don't even really know what good food is. On the other hand, you don't have to be a glutten to be an Epicurean.
STG
Myst said:
I don't know - what was your attitude when you were intimate with them? You probably showed prudence not prudery.
That is my point - it is not how many lovers you have had, but how you had them, if you get my drift.
I have not had a lot of sex partners, I only once engaged in casual sex - and regretted it afterward. I think the price can be too high - emotionally, physically and financially - and not just on me.
I have a friend who always has plenty of women. I used to be jealous of how easily he picked up women. But it turned out that he just is not very particular; they usually are physically attractive, but they are just as often flakey, just plain weird and unintelligent. Very few of them have I liked. He also has a number of children by different ladies, most of which he never sees, and does not support financially. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, I am no longer jealous.
To me, in this context, a prude is someone who doesn't enjoy sex, maybe is ashamed of sex, and looks down their nose at people who enjoy sex. You can be promiscuous and still be a prude, you can be celibate and still be lascivious.
It is like someone who eats too much food, not because they enjoy it, or are even hungry, but because they are addicted to it. They are not a gourmand, they don't even really know what good food is. On the other hand, you don't have to be a glutten to be an Epicurean.
STG
shadowsource
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Hey -
What's wrong with casual sex? I've had tons of it, fallen in love over it/after it, not spawned any children, nor spread diseases, and my old lovers neither hate me nor are ugly, though some are dead for unrelated reasons. I do think having had two lovers is pretty conservative, unless you're talking in the same day. Hurray for wild sexuality. Thank whatever that I preexisted AIDS, and continued to be very active for a long time thereafter, and still have funky sex. Americans jumped all over the sex epidemic as an excuse to stop being sinful, and I thank whatever that I live in NYC and travel a lot and are privileged to make love to and from foreign women!
That said, I respect your choices, Myst, but I can't reassure you. You probably are very reserved, though you don't seem all that "prudish" to my limited knowledge. I do detect prudishness on this site sometimes, and it astounds.
What's wrong with casual sex? I've had tons of it, fallen in love over it/after it, not spawned any children, nor spread diseases, and my old lovers neither hate me nor are ugly, though some are dead for unrelated reasons. I do think having had two lovers is pretty conservative, unless you're talking in the same day. Hurray for wild sexuality. Thank whatever that I preexisted AIDS, and continued to be very active for a long time thereafter, and still have funky sex. Americans jumped all over the sex epidemic as an excuse to stop being sinful, and I thank whatever that I live in NYC and travel a lot and are privileged to make love to and from foreign women!
That said, I respect your choices, Myst, but I can't reassure you. You probably are very reserved, though you don't seem all that "prudish" to my limited knowledge. I do detect prudishness on this site sometimes, and it astounds.
Shy Tall Guy
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Re: Hey -
Maybe it works for you - it doesn't for me. A woman (an old girlfriend) used me to make her husband mad so that he would divorce her (why didn't she just file for a divorce?) and to try to get her pregnant. Suffice it to say, it got very messy and embarassed my family greatly.
Besides all the other possible costs, casual sex often turns into romantic relationships. I want to know the person before I get romantically involved with them, and that takes some time.
I am not condeming anybody for it, just saying that I realize the costs now, and I don't care to engage in it. My buddy who always has all the girls says he is willing to put up with all the mess and he doesn't mind the chaos it causes, but I do, so I keep both my heads in control now.
It just comes down to choices - YMMV.
STG
shadowsource said:
Maybe it works for you - it doesn't for me. A woman (an old girlfriend) used me to make her husband mad so that he would divorce her (why didn't she just file for a divorce?) and to try to get her pregnant. Suffice it to say, it got very messy and embarassed my family greatly.
Besides all the other possible costs, casual sex often turns into romantic relationships. I want to know the person before I get romantically involved with them, and that takes some time.
I am not condeming anybody for it, just saying that I realize the costs now, and I don't care to engage in it. My buddy who always has all the girls says he is willing to put up with all the mess and he doesn't mind the chaos it causes, but I do, so I keep both my heads in control now.
It just comes down to choices - YMMV.
STG
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bluntforcemama
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Casual sex is dangerous, for one. I have a good friend who was all about casual sex, and now he's HIV+. If that's what you want, go for it. So perhaps in being prudish, I'm being paranoid.
Juspar Emvan
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Or perhaps in beng picky (and/or paranoid) you come across as prudish. Hell if sexual promiscuity is the requirement for lack of prudishness, then count me in as a prude. On the otherhand, it was only for lack of confidence on my part, and more than a little pickyness. SO perhaps not.
shadowsource
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Using your wits
And don't you practice any dangerous sports? If all the people who worry about sex wore seatbelts, didn't smoke, avoided McDonald's, didn't drive 85, etc. I might take them more seriously. As I said, some people just don't like sex, which is fine, but they're always dumping on it as if it's the only risky activity around. I know people who've gotten HIV (ALL of them via gay sex or needles), and the real surprise is how many haven't. I prefer to keep flirting, maintaining cerrtain precautions, and living life.
Well, your friend should have used condoms and (shall I say it?) prudence. There are plenty of women I kissed and deigned not to have sex with because it didn't seem the cleverest idea. Some of them are still kicking; some aren't. I certainly am.Myst said:
And don't you practice any dangerous sports? If all the people who worry about sex wore seatbelts, didn't smoke, avoided McDonald's, didn't drive 85, etc. I might take them more seriously. As I said, some people just don't like sex, which is fine, but they're always dumping on it as if it's the only risky activity around. I know people who've gotten HIV (ALL of them via gay sex or needles), and the real surprise is how many haven't. I prefer to keep flirting, maintaining cerrtain precautions, and living life.
pabloback
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be who you are and be happy with what you are, if you feel like doing it do it but dont feel the pressure to conform either way. dont let a partner pressure you into saying yes or society into saying no
it is your life , make the most of it and be happy with who and what you are
it is your life , make the most of it and be happy with who and what you are
bluntforcemama
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Re: Using your wits
Nice to meet you. No need to justify yourself, either.
shadowsource said:
Nice to meet you. No need to justify yourself, either.
