Prowritingaid

[Bramblethorn]

It depends a lot on the character doing the talking. Not to rely too heavily on stereotypes, but here in the South, I've heard, "Me and her" and "She and I" in about equal proportions. It depends a lot on education level and social status. If I'm writing about the socialite at a cocktail party, I'll use "She and I". If I'm writing about two guys in a run-down bar, I'll use "Me and her". The language characters use in dialogue can go a long way in developing a character.

I'm not suggesting that the "me and her" usage doesn't exist, just pushing back against the assertion that "almost any normal guy" talks that way. There are plenty of places where it would be weird.

 

[XerXesXu]

In that context, where I grew up, 'Her and me' would probably have been the default for a young person; we were schooled into 'She and I'. In that they're still inflected, pronouns are anomalous. English isn't an inflected language. In my rustic excursions I came across 'Look at I', and 'Look at she', but I've only encountered 'methinks..' in English class.

 

[LargoKitt]

I use it because after working on a document, I get 'error-blind'.

I can 'smell' when others (and sometimes I) am in such a hurry to post something that it is sloppy. Important 'rule' is to leave it alone for a bit before posting. Long enough to read it a bit like a stranger. An old spelling trick is to skim your story backward. That way you don't get caught up in the narrative. You will see misspellings and double words more easily. If English is not your native laguage and you use a translation app, make sure you translate back and forth a few times. And, best, get a native speaker to cruise the story. Of course that's good with any story, except that here we are writing 'smut' and some readers won't be objective.

 

[LargoKitt]

And "she and I" would be more natural to my ear than "her and I", for the same reason that we'd say "she had sex" not "her had sex". The presence of another person doesn't change that.

I'd probably change that to "I had sex with her in my car." Curiously "She had sex with me in my car," actually has a difference sense, suggesting she was more the initiator. Of course, I might mess with the grammar if I wanted a colloquial feel. "We was havin' real good sex in her car, and she an' me was figuirin' out some great new stuff to do when her poppa..." Commenters have both criticized and praised colloquial dialog like that. And one reader hated my punctuation. I have wondered whether GB folks or Ozzies can get the feel of American colloquial dialog. But us Yanks rilly do crank a lotta our slang out into the world in them movies and that there TV.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

And "she and I" would be more natural to my ear than "her and I", for the same reason that we'd say "she had sex" not "her had sex". The presence of another person doesn't change that.

It depends on whether the pronouns are referring to the subject, "She and I went to the glory hole." or the object of the sentence, "He took her and me to the glory hole." Of course if the usage is possessive, it would be "It is her and my glory hole."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Stolen from another thread:

Obviously, ProWritingAid is one of the tools listed.

You can see what is allowed, and what isn't.

I did a little research and evidently(Yeah, I asked Grok so I'm not dropping a reference), Grammarly will leave metadata markers in your text where ProWritingAid 'says' it doesn't.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It depends on whether the pronouns are referring to the subject, "She and I went to the glory hole." or the object of the sentence, "He took her and me to the glory hole." Of course if the usage is possessive, it would be "It is her and my glory hole."

"She and I" can fit in a sentence as subject, "her and me" can fit in a sentence as object, but the only way I can think of to make "her and I" work is by making the "and" a conjunction: e.g. "the bouncer looked at her and I slipped behind his back".

I think I'd recast the sentence altogether rather than write "it is her and my glory hole", even if it's grammatical it just feels clunky.

 

[SyleusSnow]

I did a little research and evidently(Yeah, I asked Grok so I'm not dropping a reference), Grammarly will leave metadata markers in your text where ProWritingAid 'says' it doesn't.

Grok also says Elon isn't misogynist or racist and has never touched ketamine

No. Neither of those tools leave any metadata markers in your text.

All tools that rewrite / rephrase passages put the entire work at risk of being detected as "AI" written... because allowing a tool to rewrite passages IS using AI writing. Don't use the rewriting / rephrasing features and stick only to the grammar analysis and you'll be fine.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Yeah, it sounds weird to this American.

 

[BeechLeaf]

The presence of 'and' does make a difference. Of the four ways of saying it, probably 'me and Kim' is the most common in colloquial speech, right across English dialects, whether for subject or object:

I did that.
Me and Kim did that.

The rough general principle is that the subject forms ('I', 'she') are mainly used for subjects directly preceding a finite verb. If a pronoun is separated from a verb by 'and', it doesn't take the subject form, it takes the default form ('me', 'her').

That's not the whole picture, because 'and' also does some case-reversing work in other situations: it is very common for literate speakers to say 'The professor invited my wife and I'. Here the pronoun doesn't have the default form 'me', but we have some sort of hyper-correction such that the and-ed phrase has subject form. I don't think there is a single governing principle for these odd exceptions.

To be clear, I am making a strong distinction between what I would say and write, and what many (probably most) speakers would say - which is what I would write if I was concerned to show their (perfectly normal, not sub-standard) speech.

 

[LargoKitt]

"She and I" can fit in a sentence as subject, "her and me" can fit in a sentence as object, but the only way I can think of to make "her and I" work is by making the "and" a conjunction: e.g. "the bouncer looked at her and I slipped behind his back".

I think I'd recast the sentence altogether rather than write "it is her and my glory hole", even if it's grammatical it just feels clunky.

"It's her glory hole, and mine too." , "It's her glory hole and my dick." ""That glory hole belongs to her and me." "That glory hole is also hers and mine." "We share a glory hole. Often."