Protecting One's Privacy

[Luvkitty33]

I haven't been very smart about protecting myself online, and I'm wondering if it's too late to do anything about it?

First of all, when I use my Yahoo Instant Messenger, it shows my first and last name when I'm typing a message. When someone asks to be added to my list, there's a place where I can change the name that shows, and I always change it to a screenname, but still, when I'm typing, my first and last name is showing. Does anyone know how to fix this?

Also, once someone has my phone number, cell or home, I believe they can get my address pretty easily. Is there a way for someone I meet online to still be the one to call me without them having a way to get my address?

I was reading something about ISP's on the General Board, and I'm wondering how that relates to online safety? Something about email addresses was mentioned, too. If you've registered your email with your real name originally, is there a way to change it and have no previous record?

Any other tips and advice for ONLINE safety would be much appreciated. Also, when moving from online to the phone, are there any safety tips and advice?

Thank you so much in advance for your help. I just hope I'm not too late to do anything about this. I want to be able to chat online and on the phone but still have the option of privacy.

 

[M's girl]

I see (in your profile) you are a teacher. I would lose the registration that features you real name etcetera a.s.a.p. Just empty all fields or replace by fake info if deleting the account all together is not possible. Then stop using it and create a new one.

I have a Yahoo account and I started by registering as a male with fake names and everything. I still use this account if I'm not sure I can trust the people on the other side or not, usually first contacts through websites and not only for Lit or Lit(sex) related 'things'. I have this account for a few years now and have not been bothered (except for some spam e-mail) or anything. If someone would start stalking me or whatever I could abandon the account and start a new one.

 

[SweetErika]

I haven't been very smart about protecting myself online, and I'm wondering if it's too late to do anything about it?

First of all, when I use my Yahoo Instant Messenger, it shows my first and last name when I'm typing a message. When someone asks to be added to my list, there's a place where I can change the name that shows, and I always change it to a screenname, but still, when I'm typing, my first and last name is showing. Does anyone know how to fix this?

In Yahoo, click on Messenger, the Contact Details. Delete the info you don't want to show (make sure you go through all the tabs to make sure nothing's escaped your notice). You can also create different profiles on the yahoo site and make sure nothing in your profile there will be problematic for you.

Also, once someone has my phone number, cell or home, I believe they can get my address pretty easily. Is there a way for someone I meet online to still be the one to call me without them having a way to get my address?

How about using VoIP? I'm not up on the free services, but some of the messengers and programs like Skype come to mind as possibilities. If I recall correctly, Yahoo even offers free calls to other computers. All you need is the software, an inexpensive headset or microphone, and someone to talk to.

I don't give out my number to anyone I haven't met in person, basically. Even that's a risk - last year a guy who had potential revealed he was a nut on our second date, and I realized he could harass me pretty easily via phone (or do something like post my number all over the web ), if he was so inclined. So, now I keep my number private until I'm fairly certain the other person isn't a lunatic. Sometimes, I have to give it out before I meet someone, but I'm finding those occasions to be few and far between.

If I were simply looking to move from chat to voice with those I'd met online, I'd definitely do the VoIP thing, and leave my phone number(s) out of it altogether.

I was reading something about ISP's on the General Board, and I'm wondering how that relates to online safety? Something about email addresses was mentioned, too. If you've registered your email with your real name originally, is there a way to change it and have no previous record?

The tech-savvy and motivated can learn a lot about you from things like your IP and email addys.

Whether you can change your name on your email depends on the provider. Gmail, for instance, doesn't give out your real name unless you put it in the "Show My Name As" (or something like that) box. Even so, I never put my real last name in when registering for a new account.

At any rate, I'd suggest signing up for a new, anonymous account just for meeting new people. There are quite a few free, anonymous services that tout safety if you're interested.

Don't enter anything relating to your real name (even your first name), birthdate, etc., and think up a good password that includes letters AND numbers, preferably in some funky combination, like bx8m5cfa9n. That doesn't make you safe, but it does make it harder for the average user to hack your account and/or track you down.

Any other tips and advice for ONLINE safety would be much appreciated. Also, when moving from online to the phone, are there any safety tips and advice?

Always assume people are combing your posts and communications, piecing together bits of info to create a picture of you. It's easy to let your first name slip here, profession there, city/county in another place, etc., so really watch what you give out. Also, remember what you put out there leaves tracks - things like posts are archived, and can easily be found via google.

Be careful about using the same username in multiple places, as it helps people get a picture of you more easily. Don't use the same name for your email, messenger, message boards, online personals, etc., because someone can learn a bunch about you by just typing that name into Google.

You're smart to educate yourself. In addition to this thread, I'd suggest reading articles on online safety and privacy. What can you do to protect your identity, personal and financial information?

Be careful who you talk to. Look for red flags. Ask questions, and remember the answers, making sure they add up. You might even ask for details more than once, to see if the answers are the same. Get verification via live webcam, rather than still photos (you can ask what they look like one time, then tell them you'd love to see them on cam another, to see if they've been honest).

Learn about meeting safety before taking it to real-time (there are tons of threads on that around here), and most importantly...

TRUST YOUR INTUITION. If anything seems a little off, RUN!

 

[fire_breeze]

Here are just a few articles about self protecting and online safety and what you can do:

http://www.safety-council.org/info/child/webrules.html

http://www.wiredsafety.org/

http://www.infosecon.net/workshop/pdf/31.pdf

 

[Luvkitty33]

I'm SO thoroughly impressed!!!

This was only the second thread that I've started here at Lit, and I have to say how impressed, and frankly, how touched I am by the replies. I'm not impressed that I received replies because I was fairly certain that I would, but what I'm referring to is the thoughtfulness and care that went into those replies.

Anyone can answer someone's question with a sentence or two, but these three people put a lot of time into their responses, and as a result, they gave very thorough and very helpful answers regarding a very important topic of online safety. Not to be dramatic or anything, but who's to say that a piece of information one of them shared with me won't someday save my life or someone else's who happened across this thread? Sad to say, but listening to the news, it's all too evident that that could very well be someone's reality.

So, thank you M's girl, SweetErika, and fire_breeze for taking the time to share your knowledge with me and anyone else who reads this thread. It's very obvious by your replies that you have caring hearts!!

 

[M's girl]

Thanks LuvKitty... stick around and you'll find that How To is the place to be here on Lit. Lots of very nice people who know what they are talking about and love to share I guess. Glad you like it here... I see that you're up for your Av since you've reached 100 posts!

Congrats

 

[fire_breeze]

Thank you, Luvkitty! That's sweet of you - and anytime!
And, congrats on making past the 100 posts. So, when do we get to see your AV?

 

[Nightbird]

Luvkitty you might comsider getting an unlisted phone number.

 

[Luvkitty33]

Luvkitty you might comsider getting an unlisted phone number.

Thank you, Nightbird. I was thinking I might call the phone company this weekend and have them change me to unlisted. I have a lot of things to go through and change after the suggestions I received here. Wish it wasn't a necessity, but unfortunately it is.

Anyway, thanks to all of you again for your help!! It's much appreciated!

 

[Indulge Yourself]

You can get a "voicemail" number. It is a regular phone number (and free) but will not ring to you; it will just go straight to voicemail. Perhaps that is an option?
I think there are a few, but one I have used is Private Phone.

 

[Luvkitty33]

You can get a "voicemail" number. It is a regular phone number (and free) but will not ring to you; it will just go straight to voicemail. Perhaps that is an option?
I think there are a few, but one I have used is Private Phone.

Thank you very much for the info. Indulge Youself.