Problem with masturbating

[dudette2005]

Hi, I've come out of lurkdom to post this here. Im an 18 yr old girl and the only way I can ever seem to get aroused or have "excitement" when masturbating is when I pillow ride...It seems to be the only way I can do it. I've tried so hard before to finger myself and I just don't get the same pleasure...at all. Am I even doing it right?
Its difficult to start buying toys because I still live at home and my parents wouldnt want to know about my buying those things lol.

Can someone help? I feel kinda stupid asking these questions.

 

[human_male]

There's no reason to feel stoopid, and if pillow riding is what works then that's cool. Maybe it's the whole humping thing you like, y'know, getting the body moving. If you want tips on how to stimulate yourself with your fingers I'm sure someone with a clitoris will give you some tips. But I'd say just practice and remember everyone's different.

 

[FoxxyGypsy]

I find it hard to cum with penetration as well. I fint clitoral stimulation the best whether it be pillow riding, or using my fingers but whenever something goes in it's like "good feelings gone". Focus on where exactly the pleasure is coming from when you're pillow riding and try to mimic the movements your pillow makes with your hands.....

No need to feel stupid, we all went through (or are still going through) sexual self discovery. I find out a new thing about my body everyday. (At the moment i'm trying to orgasm with my legs bent-for some reason they HAVE to be straight when i orgasm-very annoying during intercourse. Grr!)

If you don't want to buy a vibratior, buy a little electric/battery operated massager. You can always say it's for your neck

 

[A_Kefka]

as long as you have something you enjoy that gets you off and isn't dangerous I don't see how its a problem, enjoy it.

 

[Morpheus1981]

Hi, I've come out of lurkdom to post this here. Im an 18 yr old girl and the only way I can ever seem to get aroused or have "excitement" when masturbating is when I pillow ride...It seems to be the only way I can do it. I've tried so hard before to finger myself and I just don't get the same pleasure...at all. Am I even doing it right?
Its difficult to start buying toys because I still live at home and my parents wouldnt want to know about my buying those things lol.

Can someone help? I feel kinda stupid asking these questions.

if u ever need a 23yr. old male assistant I'm always here for u Dudette...
that post got me hott..

have u ever tried sticking anything in ur ass and pussy at the same time? many women enjoy that, try it sometime.. jmo

 

[M's girl]

I find it hard to cum with penetration as well. I fint clitoral stimulation the best whether it be pillow riding, or using my fingers but whenever something goes in it's like "good feelings gone". Focus on where exactly the pleasure is coming from when you're pillow riding and try to mimic the movements your pillow makes with your hands.....

No need to feel stupid, we all went through (or are still going through) sexual self discovery. I find out a new thing about my body everyday. (At the moment i'm trying to orgasm with my legs bent-for some reason they HAVE to be straight when i orgasm-very annoying during intercourse. Grr!)

If you don't want to buy a vibratior, buy a little electric/battery operated massager. You can always say it's for your neck

Apart from the pillow riding, which is something I have never seriously tried, I am sort of the same. BUT.... since I realize a lot of ideas I have about sex and orgasms and stimulation (and the way it works for me) are all in my head, I'm also very much in the process of trying to change things. Reading things here on Lit has helped me very much. I also was convinced that I could not orgasm without my legs straight. And it's still difficult. But I have concentrated lately on getting used to do it with knees/legs bent, and I must say it's starting to work somewhat. Me not being able to orgasm without my legs straight also prevented me from lots of sexual positions being pleasurable for me. I would find the act in itelf very arousing but would not get the actual pleasure (I was supposed to?) because the pressure (I guess) I needed in that area was wrong. Like I said.... I'm still not there but I start feeling a change. So, in my opinion and in my experience I think you can get sort of stuck in 'a habit' here too.

Maybe you need to open up to the idea that other things might work for you too, Dudette. I can imagine how you would have done it the same every time because it worked so well the first time. I have seen men here on Lit who say they can not cum from their partner jerking them off because they realize they are too much used to their own unique technique.

You are young enough (and in the end no one is too old to learn new things) to explore more and further. But you are not weird or strange in any way! I too would find it wonderful if I would be able to cum in all sexual positions possible but I can't. It's a shame but that's who and what I am. And it's not because I have not tried

What I'm trying to say is: explore... sure. But don't get hung up on this and certainly don't let anyone else tell you it's not normal. Everyone is different. And luckily so, otherwise the world would become a dull place very soon!

 

[asian_princess]

Hey babe, from one pillow rider to another, i feel ya.
When i first started masturbating i found the direct stimulation on my clit quite ...overwhelming. And the only position that i could sustain long enough , meaning that i could continue until i passed the plateau of it being uncomforable was, tying a knot in the corner of my pillow and riding it. And anything involving vagina insertion (oh how clinical sounding) would be painful and therefore end the whole session all together. it really worried me because how could i like sex if i hated the idea of something in my vagina??
It wasn't until much research and consensus later lol, done on myelf that i realised.
a) i usually wasn't wet enough yet when i was directly stimulating my clit, therefore, the friction was way too high.
b)i liked the hard pressure on my clit that i got from pillow riding that i would hesitate to apply with my hand
c) like human_male suggeted, the actual humping movement in itself was a real turn on and part of the experience therefore increasing th arousal level ie, flooding juices
d) the whole apprehenion and anxiety about the experience being painful made any kind of penetration hell. a very gentle and understanding partner showed me that with a little bit of relaxation and the right breathing...and of course, lubrication lubrication lubrication...being self made or otherwise, would change my views on penetration altogether. and the reality is, if you are a little tight, you may need to always spend a little time adjustin to size. but hey, this is your pleasure we're talking about...and babe, if it ain't feeling good, why waste ur time
and as for cumming. it's an elusive entity, that it is.
it took me about two years before i could find the perfect balance between understimulation (which leaves you with nothing but a sweaty brow, cramping in your leg and a sore wrist) and overstimulation (when your vibrator leaves your clit buzzing like it's had an orgasm, but forgot to take the rest of you body alog for the ride)
the answer is practise practise practise...try different things.

Good luck, babe!

Hi, I've come out of lurkdom to post this here. Im an 18 yr old girl and the only way I can ever seem to get aroused or have "excitement" when masturbating is when I pillow ride...It seems to be the only way I can do it. I've tried so hard before to finger myself and I just don't get the same pleasure...at all. Am I even doing it right?
Its difficult to start buying toys because I still live at home and my parents wouldnt want to know about my buying those things lol.

Can someone help? I feel kinda stupid asking these questions.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I'm not a woman, but I think this might be a psychological thing. Let's face it, pillow riding wouldn't provide near as much stimulation as directly playing wiht your clit, so I dare say it's not a matter of enough stimulation. Sounds to me like it's the feeling of an outside force stimulating you, rather than actually touching yourself which is blocking you, if you will. This means nothing other than the fact that you'd rather be with a partner than by yourself. Sounds perfectly natural to me.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Do you have a shower attachment? That feels wonderful on your clit, and you can adjust the pressure, etc. If you don't have a shower attachment, you can actuall lay in your bathtub and let the water from the faucet run down onto your clit while you fantasize and play with your breasts or whatever.

 

[FoxxyGypsy]

I also was convinced that I could not orgasm without my legs straight. And it's still difficult. But I have concentrated lately on getting used to do it with knees/legs bent, and I must say it's starting to work somewhat. Me not being able to orgasm without my legs straight also prevented me from lots of sexual positions being pleasurable for me. I would find the act in itelf very arousing but would not get the actual pleasure (I was supposed to?) because the pressure (I guess) I needed in that area was wrong. Like I said.... I'm still not there but I start feeling a change. So, in my opinion and in my experience I think you can get sort of stuck in 'a habit' here too.

Wow! I thought i was the only one (silly, I know)...Glad to know you think it's possible too...I'm trying to train myself out of it and i know i can do it!

Maybe you need to open up to the idea that other things might work for you too, Dudette. I can imagine how you would have done it the same every time because it worked so well the first time. I have seen men here on Lit who say they can not cum from their partner jerking them off because they realize they are too much used to their own unique technique.

Everyone's posted such great advice for dudette but i'm sure she won't be the only one using it...

I love Lit!

 

[Morpheus1981]

Well said ladies...

u all r so hott

 

[bibphi]

.....

 

[TBKahuna123]

My boyfriend is great but I realize that it's not his job to make me come.

I disagree, that is his job as your lover. Not his only job of course, but he should at least be giving it one hell of a shot!

 

[bibphi]

.....

 

[TBKahuna123]

I did not mean to imply that he does nothing to make me come. He does!! He puts in a LOT of time and effort, which I appreciate, but the fact that he works so hard and I don't come makes me feel bad. Which is another thread altogether.

Alrighty, just makin sure! Oh and don't feel bad because I'm surehe's having lots of fun trying, but indeed, that is another thread.

 

[dudette2005]

Thanks so much for the replies.Its such a relief to get nice feedback on something thats been botherig me for a while...

 

[latebloomer124]

Well, this thread is certainly a welcome one. I have been using the "pillow" method (or in my case, it's a sheet) for decades, being unsuccessful stimulating myself any other way. As I have posted on another thread, toys don't really work very well for me and I'm just beginning to use my hand. I thought the pillow thing was "wrong" or "immature," and that the other ways were more "right." And I wanted to be able to come faster when my bf uses his hand. I have had some success. Sometimes, I can make myself come time and time again, and then--suddenly--I can't. Lately, I can be doing it for an hour and a half with no luck, at which point I resort to the sheet or pillow to relieve the tension. I posted a few days ago asking for advice, but I sure am glad to see someone else has the same issues!!

 

[human_male]

And don't forget (all of ya) you look really fukin awesome doing it. Pillow humping that is.

And check this out http://www.mymasturbation.com/

 

[Morpheus1981]

Hey babe, from one pillow rider to another, i feel ya.
When i first started masturbating i found the direct stimulation on my clit quite ...overwhelming. And the only position that i could sustain long enough , meaning that i could continue until i passed the plateau of it being uncomforable was, tying a knot in the corner of my pillow and riding it. And anything involving vagina insertion (oh how clinical sounding) would be painful and therefore end the whole session all together. it really worried me because how could i like sex if i hated the idea of something in my vagina??
It wasn't until much research and consensus later lol, done on myelf that i realised.
a) i usually wasn't wet enough yet when i was directly stimulating my clit, therefore, the friction was way too high.
b)i liked the hard pressure on my clit that i got from pillow riding that i would hesitate to apply with my hand
c) like human_male suggeted, the actual humping movement in itself was a real turn on and part of the experience therefore increasing th arousal level ie, flooding juices
d) the whole apprehenion and anxiety about the experience being painful made any kind of penetration hell. a very gentle and understanding partner showed me that with a little bit of relaxation and the right breathing...and of course, lubrication lubrication lubrication...being self made or otherwise, would change my views on penetration altogether. and the reality is, if you are a little tight, you may need to always spend a little time adjustin to size. but hey, this is your pleasure we're talking about...and babe, if it ain't feeling good, why waste ur time
and as for cumming. it's an elusive entity, that it is.
it took me about two years before i could find the perfect balance between understimulation (which leaves you with nothing but a sweaty brow, cramping in your leg and a sore wrist) and overstimulation (when your vibrator leaves your clit buzzing like it's had an orgasm, but forgot to take the rest of you body alog for the ride)
the answer is practise practise practise...try different things.

Good luck, babe!

Can I be the pillow ?

 

[TBKahuna123]

Yeah I think I just foudn out what I want to come back as in my next life.

 

[manloveswomen]

Don't worry about it too much. I think you'll find your methods for stimulation will change as time passes. Chances are, they will be better & more varied as you grow & experiment.

 

[asian_princess]

Can I be the pillow ?

lol sure thing, baby...now, where do you want me to tie the knot

 

[eudaemonia]

Hi, I've come out of lurkdom to post this here. Im an 18 yr old girl and the only way I can ever seem to get aroused or have "excitement" when masturbating is when I pillow ride...It seems to be the only way I can do it. I've tried so hard before to finger myself and I just don't get the same pleasure...at all. Am I even doing it right?
Its difficult to start buying toys because I still live at home and my parents wouldnt want to know about my buying those things lol.

Can someone help? I feel kinda stupid asking these questions.

Pillow ride to your heart's content. Try fingering once in a while, maybe while reading some good erotica. But for goodness sakes don't pressure yourself.

If it helps, I was a "pillow rider" (nice phrase!!) exclusively til I was about 18-19-20 and just sort of eventually did it the other way til it took over. Frankly, I like the PR orgasms better cuz they put more pressure on the g-spot. Fingering doesn't lead to those sorts of feelings (not that I'd send it back or anything ...)

Enjoy yourself!

 

[M's girl]

I thought the pillow thing was "wrong" or "immature," and that the other ways were more "right."

That's the whole issue! Who decides what is wrong and what is right? But I understand you very well. With a partner I have been afraid at some times to let myself go or do or ask for things I thought they could consider funny or strange or out of the ordinary. I'm getting better at it. I was laughing when TBKahuna (very wise man IMHO ) in another thread said something along the lines of "Whatever turns you on" or "Whatever it takes to get you there" (orgasm) about his wife. And it's true isn't it? But it takes some time to get comfertable enough with someone to open up like that and feel like you can share these things.

But when it concerns masturbation when you are alone...? Why would you feel funny to try things that might work for you? No one is watching, no one is there to judge you or what you're doing... Just try everything and allow yourself to enjoy what you're feeling, even if you think the ways to achieve nice feelings or even orgasms are a bit strange....

But what is strange....? Ask any emergency doctor from any hospital what they 'find' and have to 'retrieve' time and time again in and from people's vagina's and rectums and I'll assure you you will all of a sudden feel VERY normal.

Oh, I almost forgot! Just to show you there is no such thing as a standard for this.... All I read and hear when people give advice (to men and the women themselves) on how to stimulate a woman or to women masturbating is: lubrication. Lots and lots of it and especially also ON the clit. OUCH! That SO does NOT work for me! When I masturbate and my clit is wet I sort of slide over it and that is NOT a nice feeling. I need a certain pressure and not even ON the clit; that can only be achieved if you sort of have a good 'grip' on that point. Same if M stimulates me by hand. As soon as he brings too much of my own lubrication (my body works very well for me in that manner) over to my clit I'm gone. I assume it feels the same then as a very sensitive penis after orgasm. So there you go.....
I go all the time when I read or hear this....

 

[M's girl]

Wow! I thought i was the only one (silly, I know)...Glad to know you think it's possible too...I'm trying to train myself out of it and i know i can do it!

Everyone's posted such great advice for dudette but i'm sure she won't be the only one using it...

I love Lit!

Haha, me too! I have come accross things that I was not even wondering about but am glad to know now. When you are looking for answers it's so good to hear and read all the different reactions. You take away from it what you can use. Sometimes (and especially when the thread/question is yours I guess) you don't always hear what you want to hear. Still, if you think about it well, it all helps you to form your own opinion in the end.

So I agree: Lit is great!