Preferred Forms of Punishment

[Andreina]

Dom/me's... How do you like to punish your sub/slave?
What if s/he really disappointed you?

Spanking, Cumming-Control, Silencing,...??

 

[Ebonyfire]

Dom/me's... How do you like to punish your sub/slave?
What if s/he really disappointed you?

Spanking, Cumming-Control, Silencing,...??

It really depends on the slave or sub. I do not punish my part-time subs, I get rid of them.

Since I have a new 24/7 slave, and we are not together yet, I will have to defer the answer until the situation arises.

Dismissal is not an option with proud stallion. He is Mine. So I guess I will just have to see what evolves.

I know one thing, corporal punishment will not be my first choice.

Ebony

 

[Lancecastor]

A spanking!

 

[Desdemona]

If the sub really, really likes spanking, is it still punishment?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Punishment is

making me eat brussel sprouts. God, I hate em.

Rose

 

[morninggirl5]

If the sub really, really likes spanking, is it still punishment?

I had a similar conversation with someone recently. I think a spanking given as punishment would be completely counterproductive for me. It would send a wholly mixed message. The tone, attitude, facial expressions would be "I'm disappointed in you, you were wrong," but the sensations would be rewarding.

If the spanking were "different" so as to be painful and unpleasant, i think i would view it as manipulation rather than punishment.


The punishment that would be most effective with me would be restrictions on my speech or contact. That's if anything other than that disappointed look, tone, and statement is needed. When someone is really important to me, i go out of my way to never see that look on their face.

 

[Desdemona]

<snip>
The punishment that would be most effective with me would be restrictions on my speech or contact. That's if anything other than that disappointed look, tone, and statement is needed. When someone is really important to me, i go out of my way to never see that look on their face.

You said it well and it works this way for me also.

 

[Lancecastor]

I see your point. But I'd be willing to try treating it like punishment if She were!

Seriously....at some point, punishment becomes dysfunctional, in my view.

And Dysfunctional lives around the corner from Abusive.

And I'd like to live in a better neighborhood.

So....can we just stick to spankings....and oral sex....as punishments?

Lance

If the sub really, really likes spanking, is it still punishment?

 

[Desdemona]

I see your point. But I'd be willing to try treating it like punishment if She were!

Seriously....at some point, punishment becomes dysfunctional, in my view.

And Dysfunctional lives around the corner from Abusive.

And I'd like to live in a better neighborhood.

So....can we just stick to spankings....and oral sex....as punishments?

Lance

Sign me up for that!

 

[Ebonyfire]

A spanking!

Nope, he enjoys that. I would never use anything he enjoyed as a punishment.

Eb

 

[Lancecastor]

I hope I'm not being too too light for the punishment afficionados here.

I'm more a D/s guy than an S&M guy....unless you mean Sales & Marketing.

Verbal cruelty is effective, and I do like nipple torture to a degree and of course there's spanking, and hot wax, and bondage, isolation.......but I'm not much for actual "punishment".

I dig consensual play and relationship harmony, mostly....cuz when I fight, I fight for real ...and for keeps.

Lance

Nope, he enjoys that. I would never use anything he enjoyed as a punishment.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

I hope I'm not being too too light for the punishment afficionados here.

I'm more a D/s guy than an S&M guy....unless you mean Sales & Marketing.

Verbal cruelty is effective, and I do like nipple torture to a degree and of course there's spanking, and hot wax, and bondage, isolation.......but I'm not much for actual "punishment".

I dig consensual play and relationship harmony, mostly....cuz when I fight, I fight for real ...and for keeps.

Lance

Since anything corporal would no tbe my first choice for punishment, I would find something that had mental impact and cause him to reflect.

After all, I can discipline him just for fun.

Ebony

 

[Never]

Restricting Literotica access.
Nah, even I’m not that cruel.

 

[artful]

Opinion

LDR's leave few choices for discipline other than an absence of communication. Verbal cruelty is an OPTION,...but not one I care to engage in.

 

[caspai]

Completely cutting off communication is not a punishment, it is a form of emotional abuse, and to do so is the height of cruelty.

 

[Never]

Caspai:
“Completely cutting off communication is not a punishment, it is a form of emotional abuse, and to do so is the height of cruelty.”

So, if my girlfriend begins to act in a way we both know is inappropriate and I decide I’m simply not going to communicate with her until she adjusts, I’m ‘emotionally abusing’ her?
I would consider that treating her like an adult.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I disagree, Never. Unless you tell her, it's cruel.

 

[artful]

Cas

Completely cutting off communication is not a punishment, it is a form of emotional abuse, and to do so is the height of cruelty.

If done in a callous manner,...I agree. There are times however when one needs to take a breather as no forward progress is being made in efforts of true communication.

I have always given Dream a notice of when I am terminating our messaging,...and when I will once again be available to message with her.

It has NEVER been over 24 hours,...in fact,...normally only an hour or two. Sometimes as little as 15 minutes.

 

[Never]

Rubyfruit:
“I disagree, Never. Unless you tell her, it's cruel.”
But you agree that, if I did tell her, it wouldn’t be cruel?

 

[caspai]

OK, Art, a lot has been made recently over the fact taht Dream has little self esteem. You claim to be working with her on this. How does your cutting off communication with her rather than coming to an agreement with her over the time of the breather help build up her self esteem?

Cutting off communication in these circumstances, when it is done when the person is in extreme emotional turmoil, is not productive. Agreeing that you both need time away from each other to sort things out is.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I think I've found a hard limit.

Terminating communication would be it.

Yes, at times we all need space to reflect, but if the silence is meant to be a communication in and of itself, no thanks.

I'll take door number two, please.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Completely cutting off communication is not a punishment, it is a form of emotional abuse, and to do so is the height of cruelty.

I'm not so sure about this. We do this to childern do we not? The ole 'time out in the corner trick' isn't a form of cutting off communcation? I believe it is. But why do we do that? We do it so the person will have a chance to think about their actions and (hopefully) see what they did wrong. Not to mention, when tempers really flair and the adrenaline really gets to pumping, we can say some seriously mean things that we don't mean. I for one would much rather cut communication and steam about it on my own.

I think as long as you come back at a later time and openly discuss the problem then cutting communication is not a form of emotional abuse, but rather, letting tempers cool.

Just my two cents...

PBW

 

[caspai]

First of all, I don't use time outs with my child, I take calming breaths and work things out with her, even if it means we end up yelling. If that happens, I talk to her about it afterwards. She needs to understand, in my opinion, that anger is part of the realities of life. If I am wrong, I admit it to her and take responsibility for it. To not talk at all is to not work anything out.

The point here is that a submissive is NOT a child, so cutting off communication is counter-productive. It is dishonest. It is harmful. ESPECIALLY if a person has anxiety issues or health problems that can be made worse BY STRESS.

 

[artful]

Cas

OK, Art, a lot has been made recently over the fact taht Dream has little self esteem. You claim to be working with her on this. How does your cutting off communication with her rather than coming to an agreement with her over the time of the breather help build up her self esteem?

Cutting off communication in these circumstances, when it is done when the person is in extreme emotional turmoil, is not productive. Agreeing that you both need time away from each other to sort things out is.

Please rephrase your questions,...I am not CLEAR as to what you are asking.

 

[Never]

caspai,
If ‘we’ end up yelling then ‘we’ have both lost control of ourselves. How could a sub trust a dom to be in control if that dom can’t control themselves first?

If you’re at the point that you can’t communicate without shouting then you’ve already stopped communicating.