Post-virginity Slut

[davenjenn]

My thread on women who had a great first experience and became slutty for a while afterwards has disappeared. I'd love to get the conversation going again. One of the posters made an underage reference, I guess that's why it got pulled down.

So want to hear from all those women who couldn't get enough after a wonderful defloration. That was certainly my experience

Jennifer

 

[davenjenn]

I hope this thread can get going again

 

[davenjenn]

Going

 

[policywank]

I think I knew immediately after that first time that I was destined to be a slut. It was so so, but that is what I expected and I could see how it would get better. And there never seems to be an end to the new possibilities.

 

[screwher]

My wife gave up her virginity at 18 to her first boyfriend. It was a short relationship (he treated her like crap) and we started dating right away. After three years of monogamy, I think she started feeling sexually restless and curious of other men. So it took awhile but she went through what I call a slutty phase. In a short period of time, she spread her legs for three other men. I have a feeling there were more.

 

[davenjenn]

I think I knew immediately after that first time that I was destined to be a slut. It was so so, but that is what I expected and I could see how it would get better. And there never seems to be an end to the new possibilities.

My first time was great, but you are so right, it was the feeling of endless possibilities that made sex so wonderful for me.

 

[davenjenn]

Ideas on what your husband should do when you are out on a date? Should you find him dates?

 

[policywank]

My first time was great, but you are so right, it was the feeling of endless possibilities that made sex so wonderful for me.

It seems like we are taught that sex must be part of a monogamous relationship or with someone who you intend to become monogamous otherwise it is meaningless, shallow and therefore unsatisfying. I never subscribed to the idea that it has to be meaningful to be enjoyable. But I also found that I could have great connections with guys without it needing to be monogamous. I've had my share of one and done encounters but most are repeat lovers and the idea that the connection cannot be real or meaningful unless it is exclusive just isn't my experience.

When I say I have been a slut I mean it in terms of having had sex with a lot of men on an ongoing basis. Plus I cheated on most of my nominally monogamous partners until I embraced the fact that monogamy just isn't for me.

 

[screwher]

Ideas on what your husband should do when you are out on a date? Should you find him dates?

You should make this it’s own thread. I’d be curious to see what other husbands are doing while their wives are out with other men.

 

[policywank]

Ideas on what your husband should do when you are out on a date? Should you find him dates?

We tried an open relationship for a while. He struggled to find dates that he found interesting and willing to be sexually adventurous. I've set him up with friends a few times. But he ultimately found that he preferred to take that time to be on his own or with friends and wait for me to come home. And once I knew he would be there waiting for me I made a point of making sure we connected. The fact that I had been with another man earlier the same evening became a non-issue over time.

 

[sixfoot4]

We tried an open relationship for a while. He struggled to find dates that he found interesting and willing to be sexually adventurous. I've set him up with friends a few times. But he ultimately found that he preferred to take that time to be on his own or with friends and wait for me to come home. And once I knew he would be there waiting for me I made a point of making sure we connected. The fact that I had been with another man earlier the same evening became a non-issue over time.

sweet lady.

 

[policywank]

sweet lady.

Thank you. We have subsequently delved in the cuckold fetish quite a lot. Some people don't understand it but the truth is that we only do the stuff that he really enjoys. Having a man who is ok with me indulging my slutty side is very special - I make sure to take care of him and not take him for granted.

I think that when it comes to an open and equal sex life men tend to actually equal outcomes. But in most relationships that would only come about by constraining the woman's opportunities or latitude. True equality - of opportunity and latitude - will more likely lead to our situation. It takes a strong and loving partner to accept that.

 

[davenjenn]

It seems like we are taught that sex must be part of a monogamous relationship or with someone who you intend to become monogamous otherwise it is meaningless, shallow and therefore unsatisfying. I never subscribed to the idea that it has to be meaningful to be enjoyable. But I also found that I could have great connections with guys without it needing to be monogamous. I've had my share of one and done encounters but most are repeat lovers and the idea that the connection cannot be real or meaningful unless it is exclusive just isn't my experience.

When I say I have been a slut I mean it in terms of having had sex with a lot of men on an ongoing basis. Plus I cheated on most of my nominally monogamous partners until I embraced the fact that monogamy just isn't for me.

To which I can only say "me too" Of course, there was a bit of excitement in cheating too. But perhaps that was just when I was younger

 

[davenjenn]

We tried an open relationship for a while. He struggled to find dates that he found interesting and willing to be sexually adventurous. I've set him up with friends a few times. But he ultimately found that he preferred to take that time to be on his own or with friends and wait for me to come home. And once I knew he would be there waiting for me I made a point of making sure we connected. The fact that I had been with another man earlier the same evening became a non-issue over time.

Dave quite welcome to be with other women and sometimes he finds lovers, just not as often as I do. That may just be differences between us as individuals, but also, let's face it, an attractive woman can easily find nice men

 

[davenjenn]

I think if the first time was bad (painful, forced, etc.) monastery would be an option lol however, my first was filled with excitement, fear, and incredible feelings - so yes I looked how I could do it again and again and again.
sort of a slut definition I guess.

Of course you did. . . and very nice too

 

[policywank]

Dave quite welcome to be with other women and sometimes he finds lovers, just not as often as I do. That may just be differences between us as individuals, but also, let's face it, an attractive woman can easily find nice men

It is easier for women to attract a partner, especially when a casual sexual relationship is all we are after. That largely comes down to the nature of men I think. Even the guys who would not be comfortable in an open relationship themselves are more than happy to fuck someone else's wife. And the absence of any possibility of something more serious isn't an impediment to sex.

Part of the key for me was to pursue the men that I desired rather than limiting myself to the ones who hit on me. The guys who approach women as a numbers game are just mathematically over represented among men that hit on me. And they tend to be the ones with less respect for women and misogynist attitudes. Meanwhile there are a lot of great guys who have higher regard for women or just don't want to play that numbers or competition games. The kind of guy who will try to pick me up in a bar will be happy to fuck me, but it won't be too long before he is judging me for being just as promiscuous as he is. But the low key recently divorced guy with a level head is much more likely to embrace the opportunity for regular sex and intimacy without trying to impose rules on me.

 

[davenjenn]

It is easier for women to attract a partner, especially when a casual sexual relationship is all we are after. That largely comes down to the nature of men I think. Even the guys who would not be comfortable in an open relationship themselves are more than happy to fuck someone else's wife. And the absence of any possibility of something more serious isn't an impediment to sex.

Part of the key for me was to pursue the men that I desired rather than limiting myself to the ones who hit on me. The guys who approach women as a numbers game are just mathematically over represented among men that hit on me. And they tend to be the ones with less respect for women and misogynist attitudes. Meanwhile there are a lot of great guys who have higher regard for women or just don't want to play that numbers or competition games. The kind of guy who will try to pick me up in a bar will be happy to fuck me, but it won't be too long before he is judging me for being just as promiscuous as he is. But the low key recently divorced guy with a level head is much more likely to embrace the opportunity for regular sex and intimacy without trying to impose rules on me.

I think that once a woman gets past a certain age (17 LOL) what we are looking for is nice relationships and some of us don't exclude the possibility of multiple partners. But it is still easier for a woman, because even if the guys are serious and pleasant it is not that hard to get them to sleep with you. The really fun guys are the ones who simply don't have a jealous bone in their body -- they are usually older and more experienced but not alwys

 

[policywank]

I think that once a woman gets past a certain age (17 LOL) what we are looking for is nice relationships and some of us don't exclude the possibility of multiple partners. But it is still easier for a woman, because even if the guys are serious and pleasant it is not that hard to get them to sleep with you. The really fun guys are the ones who simply don't have a jealous bone in their body -- they are usually older and more experienced but not alwys

Yes I think that good relationships can take many forms. It isn't all monogamy or superficial with nothing in between.

You are right that women are in a better position to get men to agree to our terms. If a woman really wants a serious relationship before having sex with a man he probably isn't going to get her into bed if no such potential exists unless he lies or manipulates her into believing that it does. But if you or I tell a guy who wants a serious relationship that it isn't going to happen but we can still fuck, he will probably take us up on it and/or he will be open to letting things develop (or not) on our terms.

If a guy is truly not jealous that is ideal. But as you say I think sometimes that comes with age. I wonder how much is because they truly grow out of the jealousy versus realizing that it is getting in the way and making a conscious trade-off. I'd also like to think some of it comes from growing to respect a woman's prerogative as well. A lot of what I observed with younger guys when I was younger did seem to be rooted in a patriarchal society in which men felt that they could impose certain expectations on women. Some of those guys found women willing to comply (many of whom now complain of being in sexless marriages) but lots realized they didn't hold the power in sexual relations.

I think that most of us who have explored our slutty side and own it don't get together with men who see that as something to be disparaged.

 

[davenjenn]

Yes I think that good relationships can take many forms. It isn't all monogamy or superficial with nothing in between.

You are right that women are in a better position to get men to agree to our terms. If a woman really wants a serious relationship before having sex with a man he probably isn't going to get her into bed if no such potential exists unless he lies or manipulates her into believing that it does. But if you or I tell a guy who wants a serious relationship that it isn't going to happen but we can still fuck, he will probably take us up on it and/or he will be open tolerating things develop (or not) on our terms.

If a guy is truly not jealous that is ideal. But as you say I think sometimes that comes with age. I wonder how much is because they truly grow out of the jealousy versus realizing that it is getting in the way and making a conscious trade-off. I'd also like to think some of it comes from growing to respect a woman's prerogative as well. A lot of what I observed with younger guys when I was younger did seem to be rooted in a patriarchal society in which men felt that they could impose certain expectations on women. Some of those guys found women willing to comply (many of whom now complain of being in sexless marriages) but lots realized they didn't hold the power in sexual relations.

I think that most of us who have explored our slutty side and own it don't get together with men who see that as something to be disparaged.

There are some truly not jealous types who value experience for its own sake and they are great. But mostly no-jealous just means that they are actually as jealous as hell, but know they will lose you if they show it. So they just get clingy instead.

 

[davenjenn]

Good morning everyone

 

[Jacques_Corbin]

Well, from research and case studies, I found a pattern of women, that after sex, even after bad sex, when they think back on the event, get very aroused, and want sex again. It is hardly every woman, my wife is not such a woman. For her bad sex is just regrettable. We actually had that chat after watching the movie "Young and Beautiful" the other night.

However, I have chatted with wonderful ladies on this site, who recount stories of various sexual encounters, and about half (slightly less) found even remembering the bad sex arousing. Oh, and to be clear, bad sex is defined as consensual, but unsatisfactory, such as when a guy finishes too quickly, has poor or no technique, or a regrettable one night stand, etc.

 

[davenjenn]

Well, from research and case studies, I found a pattern of women, that after sex, even after bad sex, when they think back on the event, get very aroused, and want sex again. It is hardly every woman, my wife is not such a woman. For her bad sex is just regrettable. We actually had that chat after watching the movie "Young and Beautiful" the other night.

However, I have chatted with wonderful ladies on this site, who recount stories of various sexual encounters, and about half (slightly less) found even remembering the bad sex arousing. Oh, and to be clear, bad sex is defined as consensual, but unsatisfactory, such as when a guy finishes too quickly, has poor or no technique, or a regrettable one night stand, etc.

Sometimes first sex for a girl is good enough that she can see how it can be great with the right person. So she experiments -- a lot

 

[Jacques_Corbin]

Yes, I have seen that as well. The young woman I traded V Cards with as a young man was like that. The first time was missionary on a mutual friends couch in their den after classes, but then she wanted to try being on top, doggy, and even our friend, and then he and I at the same time. She was also into girls, but never shared. In fact, publicly at school, she was only into girls, and not involved with me, sexually, at all.

I was freaked out that first time. There was blood. All the sex ed classes where they explained the biology of reproduction, tried to get of all scared of sexually transmitted diseases and infections, and practically accused all us guys of being rapists, nobody mentioned that a woman bleeds her first time. That nurse went about it all wrong, especially portraying young women as victims forced into having sex the first time instead of as sexual beings themselves, who are both capable and willing to consent to having sex. I guess that was just sex ed in the 90s...

 

[davenjenn]

Yes, I have seen that as well. The young woman I traded V Cards with as a young man was like that. The first time was missionary on a mutual friends couch in their den after classes, but then she wanted to try being on top, doggy, and even our friend, and then he and I at the same time. She was also into girls, but never shared. In fact, publicly at school, she was only into girls, and not involved with me, sexually, at all.

I was freaked out that first time. There was blood. All the sex ed classes where they explained the biology of reproduction, tried to get of all scared of sexually transmitted diseases and infections, and practically accused all us guys of being rapists, nobody mentioned that a woman bleeds her first time. That nurse went about it all wrong, especially portraying young women as victims forced into having sex the first time instead of as sexual beings themselves, who are both capable and willing to consent to having sex. I guess that was just sex ed in the 90s...

Your friend sounds interesting. What became of her?

 

[policywank]

There are some truly not jealous types who value experience for its own sake and they are great. But mostly no-jealous just means that they are actually as jealous as hell, but know they will lose you if they show it. So they just get clingy instead.

Yes I have experienced that. In fact, this is probably one of the most prevalent reasons for me not having sex with a man. There are guys I would like to have fucked, but they were just trying a little too hard to play it cool and I could just sense that if I went there drama would ensue. They just couldn't have a fling then move on.