Jada59
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2017
- Posts
- 23,941
Was arrested for cock fighting, had the biggest pecker in the ring
Has a secret recipe for onion rings.
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Was arrested for cock fighting, had the biggest pecker in the ring
Has a secret recipe for onion rings.
Secretly clips the hedges without Gardener's permission...![]()
Secretly clips the hedges without Gardener's permission...![]()
Secretly thinks Spider-man is a hero, and is just jealous
Can walk normally while inside a building. But outdoors? Has to walk backwards to ward off evil.
is able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
Hacks people's private computers and installs remote cameras in people's closets!![]()
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She got a job at In 'N' Out because she thought the name meant something kinky. She enjoyed flipping burgers so much, it's been her career for the last 12 years.
Last year at the French Fries Convention, as President of the French Fries Association of America (the FFAA duh) he presented me the Hottest French Fry Of The Year Award for coming up with the phrase "You want fries with that big boy?"
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She works for the UNLV campus police where she leads the Campus Undercover Narcotics Team (CUNT).![]()
Normally I kick guys in the balls for calling me a cunt, but you, you get a pass - this time!![]()
He's about to get kicked in the balls "accidentally" the next time he's in an airport.
(we have a secret communications network)
I didn't call you that! It's the name of that special police unit.
She keeps 27 pairs of handcuffs in her desk, and she's used every single one of them multiple times without ever actually making an arrest.
(hey, being an official C.U.N.T. with a badge comes with responsibilities - even if you're only an Honorary C.U.N.T. and "lost" your badge like me!!![]()
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Told the UNLV HR Director that I "have a reputation"
She's now seeing the UNLV HR Director on the side...and on her back, and on her stomach, and on her knees, and on her bed, and on her washing machine, and on her sofa, and on her...well, I think you get the point.
He's jealous that I don't pay rent because of my reputation for "paying" my rent![]()
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She applied to work on the set of the latest Muppets movie because she wanted to be a puppeteer and stick her hand up Miss Piggy's ass. She was angry with me and trying to make me jealous and knew this would send me over the edge!
She applied to work on the set of the latest Muppets movie because she wanted to be a puppeteer and stick her hand up Miss Piggy's ass. She was angry with me and trying to make me jealous and knew this would send me over the edge!
Has a weird thing for puppets and doesn't know me AT all?
(okay, not entirely baseless!)
agony aunt
He's been wearing that hat for 17 years without washing it.