~Post baseless lies about the person above you - V.6~

[LittleMissSunshine12]

Is named in honour of their favourite film

 

[EctoJohn]

Once broke 14 jaywalkers out of prison.

 

[Jodaily]

Helped with the jailbreak. He’d been so hammered when busted for jaywalking he was able to slither out of the cage and get the keys. Demon rum

 

[kellyt1994]

Rum often gives super powers but they're rarely the useful kind.

 

[EctoJohn]

Is obsessed with streaking.

 

[Cindy027]

Is actually an alien pretending to be this John character, in all probability this thing took over John's body, killing him in the process, and now walks amongst you Floridians. Pretends the ghost stuff to cover it's cosmic goo trail.

 

[EctoJohn]

Once bought a coloring book themed around stealing people's clothes in public.

 

[fakingadulthood]

Had murdered countless people for leaving the h out of John

 

[EctoJohn]

Created the world's largest mud ball.

 

[kellyt1994]

Often claims to be the illegitimate son of Gilbert Gottfried.

 

[EctoJohn]

Has a large collection of John Wayne porn.

 

[kellyt1994]

Fired from his marketing job after paying Larry King a bundle to endorse a new line of celebrity-themed nipple clamps.

 

[EctoJohn]

Is a reverse nudist and enjoys getting as clothed as possible anywhere they can.

 

[Taegul]

He holds the world record for spit-juggling olives. He can keep six in the air consistently without choking. Usually.

 

[Spurtulator]

He holds the world record for spit-juggling olives. He can keep six in the air consistently without choking. Usually.

Owns a franchise of drive-in porn theaters

 

[kellyt1994]

Suffers a medically unsafe level of arousal at the misuse of the words "discrete" and "discreet".

 

[EctoJohn]

Has memorized the words to the Finnish national anthem.

 

[SimonSex]

Had to pivot his portfolio with the fall of the penny.

 

[EctoJohn]

Refused to wear clothes while on Lit, even in public.

 

[kellyt1994]

Always throws to third rather than trying to turn the double play.

 

[peter252]

Keeps his socks on for 3 months turned on by the smell

 

[EctoJohn]

Is addicted to candy cigarettes.

 

[UnquenchableThirst]

EctoJohn wears his underwear on the outside of his trousers.

 

[EctoJohn]

@UnquenchableThirst has a jar of fake blood on his desk to use as his ink for writing poetry.

 

[kellyt1994]

Banned from 9 different golf courses for "waxing other player's woods".