Porn for Women. . . Hmm. . .? ? ?

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I was on my way home from taking the kids to school this morning, when the radio DJ's starting talking about Porn for Women. . .the more they covered, the more I snickered and chuckled.

This is what they were talking about: Porn for Women. . . a book about what turns us ladies on. Watching full clothed men clean and do chores, bring flowers home spontaneously.

You know. . .I am a woman (shocked huh). I'm sorry, but when my spouse vacuums the floor. I am not turned on. I am thinking. . .Thank God I don't have to do it. (I hate vacumming). If he did it naked, it'd be. . . What the hell is wrong with him?

Do I get aroused when he does chores? Hell no. I've done them for 13 1/2 years, it's only fair he get to do them too.

So does this turn you on? Your spouse or SO doing housework for you fully clothed, hell even naked?

Am I wrong in my erotic writings. . .should I be having John dusting with a feather duster, wearing a suit and reaching up high on the shelf, while Susie sits on the couch watching him, while masturbating? ? ?

 

[wordofvirtue]

To see ANYONE in my house cleaning would be such a miracle that I'd probably faint dead away before any chance of getting aroused .......

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

To see ANYONE in my house cleaning would be such a miracle that I'd probably faint dead away before any chance of getting aroused .......

*chuckles* That is a chance this book is willing to take I guess.

 

[EveAnna]

If I came across my Hubby doing housework, I would be panting and gasping for breath - but only because I'd be having a heart attack.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

If I came across my Hubby doing housework, I would be panting and gasping for breath - but only because I'd be having a heart attack.

*chuckles*

I don't think their going for that in this book though. LOL

 

[cloudy]

I was on my way home from taking the kids to school this morning, when the radio DJ's starting talking about Porn for Women. . .the more they covered, the more I snickered and chuckled.

This is what they were talking about: Porn for Women. . . a book about what turns us ladies on. Watching full clothed men clean and do chores, bring flowers home spontaneously.

You know. . .I am a woman (shocked huh). I'm sorry, but when my spouse vacuums the floor. I am not turned on. I am thinking. . .Thank God I don't have to do it. (I hate vacumming). If he did it naked, it'd be. . . What the hell is wrong with him?

Do I get aroused when he does chores? Hell no. I've done them for 13 1/2 years, it's only fair he get to do them too.

So does this turn you on? Your spouse or SO doing housework for you fully clothed, hell even naked?

Am I wrong in my erotic writings. . .should I be having John dusting with a feather duster, wearing a suit and reaching up high on the shelf, while Susie sits on the couch watching him, while masturbating? ? ?

I had to quit laughing before I could even type a reply.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

If that is porn for women, I am the next John Holmes. I have a 12 volt Hoover and I know how to use it!

Yes I vacuumed even as recently as last night, and cooked dinner and did the laundry and put the kids to bed.

Where were the masturbating women for all of this?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I had to quit laughing before I could even type a reply.

I had a hard time not calling the radio station. lol.

If that is porn for women, I am the next John Holmes. I have a 12 volt Hoover and I know how to use it!

Yes I vacuumed even as recently as last night, and cooked dinner and did the laundry and put the kids to bed.

Where were the masturbating women for all of this?

I'd have masturbated for you without the housework. *wicked evil grin*

 

[TxRad]

If that is porn for women, I am the next John Holmes. I have a 12 volt Hoover and I know how to use it!

Yes I vacuumed even as recently as last night, and cooked dinner and did the laundry and put the kids to bed.

Where were the masturbating women for all of this?

Uh, you didn't get the memo on the one way glass in the big mirror, did ya?

 

[cloudy]

I'd have masturbated for you without the housework. *wicked evil grin*

I saw that.

and I'm just pissed that I didn't say it first.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I saw that.

and I'm just pissed that I didn't say it first.

*giggles* I'm writing porn this morning. . .my mind is where it needs to be.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Uh, you didn't get the memo on the one way glass in the big mirror, did ya?

Darn those women! If I'm going to be a porn star I want to be praised for it! I want to know when women are jilling off to me vacuuming and cooking and stuff. That's why I got into the domestic porn industry to begin with!.

 

[kairotic]

I like to cook, so does this mean that if I cook a nice marinated steak, some mushroom risotto, and top it off with a few glasses of Chianti, that I've effectively porned myself? Have I masturbated?

Or would that only work if I were a chick?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I like to cook, so does this mean that if I cook a nice marinated steak, some mushroom risotto, and top it off with a few glasses of Chianti, that I've effectively porned myself? Have I masturbated?

Or would that only work if I were a chick?

No, you do that for us and you've porned yourself out for our sexual appeasement. So get on over here. . .I need to masturbate and eat lunch.

 

[kairotic]

<sly grin> Well, that's why I always go with rice dishes... you gotta let 'em simmer for AT LEAST 30 minutes.

Rawr, baby. I does it nice and sloooooowwww.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

<sly grin> Well, that's why I always go with rice dishes... you gotta let 'em simmer for AT LEAST 30 minutes.

Rawr, baby. I does it nice and sloooooowwww.

*chuckles*

 

[3113]

If that is porn for women, I am the next John Holmes. I have a 12 volt Hoover and I know how to use it!

Yes I vacuumed even as recently as last night, and cooked dinner and did the laundry and put the kids to bed.

Oh, baby! Tell me more! Did you dust? And polish the furniture lovingly? Tell me how you folded the laundry and washed the dishes. I want to hear about your gloved hands in that soapy water giving those greasy pans a good scrubbing....

 

[glynndah]

If it gets the vacuuming done, I'm willing to fake it. Oooh, that's soo hawt!

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

*chuckles* LOL.

 

[Alexandra1979]

Evidently, these are people who assume that all or most women are prudes.

 

[FatDino]

I was on my way home from taking the kids to school this morning, when the radio DJ's starting talking about Porn for Women. . .the more they covered, the more I snickered and chuckled.

This is what they were talking about: Porn for Women. . . a book about what turns us ladies on. Watching full clothed men clean and do chores, bring flowers home spontaneously.

You know. . .I am a woman (shocked huh). I'm sorry, but when my spouse vacuums the floor. I am not turned on. I am thinking. . .Thank God I don't have to do it. (I hate vacumming). If he did it naked, it'd be. . . What the hell is wrong with him?

Do I get aroused when he does chores? Hell no. I've done them for 13 1/2 years, it's only fair he get to do them too.

So does this turn you on? Your spouse or SO doing housework for you fully clothed, hell even naked?

Am I wrong in my erotic writings. . .should I be having John dusting with a feather duster, wearing a suit and reaching up high on the shelf, while Susie sits on the couch watching him, while masturbating? ? ?

So us women have been doing chores for centuries with very little appreciation and now men doing them is considered sexy?

That's just a typical guy excuse to not help around more often. And...vacuumming naked? I wouldn't even want to touch him with all the dust he must have on.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Oh, baby! Tell me more! Did you dust? And polish the furniture lovingly? Tell me how you folded the laundry and washed the dishes. I want to hear about your gloved hands in that soapy water giving those greasy pans a good scrubbing....

nope nope, I'm holding out until I get an accounting of women who have had a bit of "self love" with me in their minds first. No lurid stories of me with a spatula until at least 20 women admit to using me as wank fodder. I may be a slut but I have standards.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

You know. . .I am a woman (shocked huh). I'm sorry, but when my spouse vacuums the floor. I am not turned on. I am thinking. . .Thank God I don't have to do it. (I hate vacumming). If he did it naked, it'd be. . . What the hell is wrong with him?

Am I wrong in my erotic writings. . .should I be having John dusting with a feather duster, wearing a suit and reaching up high on the shelf, while Susie sits on the couch watching him, while masturbating? ? ?

I don't think what you've written so far is wrong. I love your work. But if you havn't, I think you should try your hand at humour, because your post made me spew various liquids all over my keyboard.

As to the actual topic of the thread . . . maybe I have a slightly different perspective because I'm gay. I wouldn't say that actually seeing a woman do any of these tasks turn me on, but then again seeing her do almost anything would turn me on. And, my mind automatically goes to - what can I do to distract her? How could this be turned onto an erotic adventure? Or - what if, while she's doing the dishes, I come up real close behind her, lift her hair and kiss her nape, while my hands play with hers in the soapy water . . .

Anyway, thank you for making me laugh

 

[Grushenka]

If you look at the description and reviews you'll see the book's meant as satire.

I am now envisioning my husband in a French maid's uniform.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I don't think what you've written so far is wrong. I love your work. But if you havn't, I think you should try your hand at humour, because your post made me spew various liquids all over my keyboard.

As to the actual topic of the thread . . . maybe I have a slightly different perspective because I'm gay. I wouldn't say that actually seeing a woman do any of these tasks turn me on, but then again seeing her do almost anything would turn me on. And, my mind automatically goes to - what can I do to distract her? How could this be turned onto an erotic adventure? Or - what if, while she's doing the dishes, I come up real close behind her, lift her hair and kiss her nape, while my hands play with hers in the soapy water . . .

Anyway, thank you for making me laugh

You're very welcome.

I could keep you laughing if this were the "Tell How Red Breaks Her Toys In" Thread. Or "Breaks Them" . That's a story that would make ya chuckle.