Porn change you sex life?

[Down_UnderKid]

hey,
after a discussion with my gf and our sex life and it got me thinking.
If i hadnt have watched so much porn, or just any porn, would i still have tried the things that i do/have done in my sex life?
I see porn and the things that goes on, read stories on here and read people's posts and think, il try that, or how would people do that...but then i watch a bit more or read a bit more and think id like to try that.
things i would never thought id do with myself or my girlfriend/fiance.

so has porn changed your outlook on sex and made you less of a prude, or do you just seek out adventure!
for me id say yes it has. Having someone who is open to different things in my life also help!

 

[Eilan]

When I've watched porn, I've generally done so for entertainment. I've never really been turned on or educated by it. In fact, I've learned a lot more from lurking and posting on Lit.

One of the things that's so demoralizing about spending time here is encountering people, men mostly, who think that porn sex is real-life sex and are disappointed when their partners don't meet porn standards.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I spent a career doing psychotherapy with people, and after I abandoned most of the popular treatment schemes as bullshit concocted to sell books and seminar seats, I started offering wares with real life benefits. And porn was a tool I used for improving conjugal experiences.

I mean, first you gotta learn whats in his head, then learn whats in her head, then set it up so they share revelations safely (where they have the same unexplored appetite). It creates intimacy rather than conflict, and life gets a little better.

 

[unregistered]

 

[sunandshadow]

Sex is heavily culturally influenced. If you put two babies on an island and they grew up without ever seeing other humans, chances are they would never figure out how to have sex. If this seems implausible, consider pandas, and the fact that 'panda porn' (videos of other pandas mating) caused a measurable increase in successful breeding of pandas who watched the videos.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The flip-side to your experience is the home where sex is okay and encouraged. It warps you in a different way. I enjoyed girls from an early age, and my appetite and attitude didnt make me popular with plenty of moms, tho it did with a few.

One of my ancestors wrote her memoir 150 years ago. She was an American Pioneer in every sense of the word, and bore 10 children. In her book she recollects her attitude about sex, and recalls questioning her future husband (when she was 16, and he was much older) about his 'queer' ways around women. She expected to be pawed and played with, and he didnt cooperate (he was a parson). He told her it was rude to live in a mans house and use his women.

But they didnt have much privacy in a cabin or their room in town or in their wagon when they moved around. She alludes that they used the barn or sheds or any port in a storm for sex. And everybody knew what was up when she and her husband went to the barn together.

I raised my daughters to be comfortable with sex BUT KEEP IT IN THE GODDAMNED BEDROOM, PLEASE! I was never okay coming home to see them on all 4s on the sofa. WHAT IF YOUR GRANDMOTHER WALKED IN ON YOU?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sex is heavily culturally influenced. If you put two babies on an island and they grew up without ever seeing other humans, chances are they would never figure out how to have sex. If this seems implausible, consider pandas, and the fact that 'panda porn' (videos of other pandas mating) caused a measurable increase in successful breeding of pandas who watched the videos.

Uh, I dont think so. At 5 I knew where my penis needed to be when I got naked with a girl, I just couldnt go there....yet.

 

[CWatson]

For all of porn's faults (and it has many), it's one of the few spaces that's unabashedly sex-positive. It treats sex as something natural, fun and desirable, and validates our various desires and turn-ons.

From personal experience, I'm pretty darn vanilla where sex is concerned. I like missionary, I like spooning, I've done doggy-style maybe six times in my life, and I'm completely happy with all of that. So I know there's a lot I haven't tried. It's cool to think that, one day, with a willing partner, I could try it; and I do have a bucket list of things I want to look into. But those are all bonuses. Find what works for you, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And if porn helps you find it, what's wrong with that? *shrugs*

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

For all of porn's faults (and it has many), it's one of the few spaces that's unabashedly sex-positive. It treats sex as something natural, fun and desirable, and validates our various desires and turn-ons.

From personal experience, I'm pretty darn vanilla where sex is concerned. I like missionary, I like spooning, I've done doggy-style maybe six times in my life, and I'm completely happy with all of that. So I know there's a lot I haven't tried. It's cool to think that, one day, with a willing partner, I could try it; and I do have a bucket list of things I want to look into. But those are all bonuses. Find what works for you, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And if porn helps you find it, what's wrong with that? *shrugs*

Not any more. Porn's the newest conquered country of the PC Puritans. All sex is not equal.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Sex is heavily culturally influenced. If you put two babies on an island and they grew up without ever seeing other humans, chances are they would never figure out how to have sex. If this seems implausible, consider pandas, and the fact that 'panda porn' (videos of other pandas mating) caused a measurable increase in successful breeding of pandas who watched the videos.

Pandas are lazy pieces of shit. They shouldn't even be called Panda Bears. More like Sissy Bears. Or not even bears at all. If i was a brown bear or a black bear, I would swim my rugged ass over to China (pronounced chin-uh, as we bears say) and eat all those lazy turds ruining my good name. It's like calling a yorkie a brown wolf. Those panda fuckers just eat bamboo all day and laze around. For the remainder of this post they will be known as Sissy Bears or SB for short.

I think the more likely reason that the lazy furballs can't reporduce is because 1) they are too fucking lazy and 2) the women SBs are fertile for like 36 hours a year. So not only does the male SB have to pick up his giant head and stop scratching arse long enough to have sex, he also has to have some very stealthy and efficient sperm. And, based on the fact that these creatures are only slightly more efficient than sloths, I imagine the sperm has little inflatable swimmies on the tale of the flagella to prevent drowning. Their inability to breed comes more from being lazy fuckers and the "alpha" SB is the equivalent of a human Seth Rogan.

SB are an anomaly in the animal kingdom. They are lazy and a limited example. What about every other dog and cat that fucks without a problem. I mean, doggy style is a thing. "Fuck like rabbits" is a phrase. You don't ever hear about panda style. I guess that would be people practically begging you to fuck the other panda in the room but you're too damned lazy to stop watching bamboo grow.

I'm quite confident that two people don't have to be told or shown how to have sex. I base that on everything in the history of the world ever. The fact that animals and humans still exist is a pretty good indicator of how you don't really need to be shown how to have sex. You can't fight biology.

When I was young, I knew that I needed to fuck something. I didn't necessarily know what or how, but I can assure you that 5 year old pmann was fucking the couch, the floor or whatever else I could put my dick on. No one told me to do that, thankfully, but I knew I needed to do something with it. My cock was looking for an outlet. It just didn't know what.

 

[IvyMae]

Porn has helped my sex life. Actually, I starred watching it before I even had sex, and so going into real action for the first time, I had a vague idea of what was going to happen. I also had a pretty good idea how to give a decent blowjob without fumbling around too much.

 

[Primalex]

For all of porn's faults (and it has many), it's one of the few spaces that's unabashedly sex-positive. It treats sex as something natural, fun and desirable, and validates our various desires and turn-ons.

Even those that shouldn't be validated.

So I know there's a lot I haven't tried. It's cool to think that, one day, with a willing partner, I could try it; and I do have a bucket list of things I want to look into. But those are all bonuses.

But this is not how porn works long term. You are not going to get a partner, because you are a boring and frigid - all the porn proves that something is wrong with you, doesn't it?

Count the "My partner doesn't want to do xyz. What is wrong with my partner and how can I force him/her to do it anyway?" threads and you know I'm right.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The function of fiction is to provide options and possibilities. Porn exposes options and possibilities many arent aware exist. That said, no one is point a gun to your head forcing you to anything you dont wanna do. Its simply providing a menu and nutritional information.

 

[bailadora]

The function of fiction is to provide options and possibilities. Porn exposes options and possibilities many arent aware exist. That said, no one is point a gun to your head forcing you to anything you dont wanna do. Its simply providing a menu and nutritional information.

That's a valid point. But I also can't help but think that porn can also skew expectations.

According to the majority of the vids I've seen over the last few years, most of the women in porn are portrayed as multi-orgasmic, copious fluid squirting machines. Is it possible some women have those capabilities? Yes. But I'm guessing that's not the standard for many women. Hell - there are probably some women out there who have such difficulty achieving orgasm, they'd be happy with just one. Now imagine the slap of reality some sexually inexperienced people might receive when either they or their partners can't replicate what they see online.

 

[KoPilot]

I've given up on porn. I watch it with my husband sometimes for laughs (he'll happily make fun of what's going on even as I go down on him), but that's about it. I learned about sex from it, unfortunately, but as an ace it wasn't setting me up for much in the way of failure anyways.

I can come up with all sorts of crazy shit in my head that porn wouldn't even touch, sorry. My imagination isn't that bad that I need to use it like a crutch.

 

[NightL]

so has porn changed your outlook on sex and made you less of a prude, or do you just seek out adventure!
for me id say yes it has. Having someone who is open to different things in my life also help!

I'd suggest you have a listen to what Cindy Gallop has to say on the subject
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV8n_E_6Tpc

Put her name into google and you will find any number of interviews
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/09/f...rt-to-promote-real-not-porn-fed-sex.html?_r=0

 

[rds_muskrat]

I think sex is just like anything else in life, a continual learning process. Porn probably exposes us all to things we might not see, do, have tried in our every day life. Some of it's educational, some of it is just for kicks, and some of it just plain revolting.

Agreed & kudos for stating it so succinctly. Porn, the Internet porn has changed my life though AND made me damned thankful it wasn't around in my younger, already too wilder days.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That's a valid point. But I also can't help but think that porn can also skew expectations.

According to the majority of the vids I've seen over the last few years, most of the women in porn are portrayed as multi-orgasmic, copious fluid squirting machines. Is it possible some women have those capabilities? Yes. But I'm guessing that's not the standard for many women. Hell - there are probably some women out there who have such difficulty achieving orgasm, they'd be happy with just one. Now imagine the slap of reality some sexually inexperienced people might receive when either they or their partners can't replicate what they see online.

There's porn, and there's porn. I scout for the gems, and the gems arent the commercial manufactured stuff. As soon as I glimpse fake boobs and six pack abs I move on. There's some amateur vids that are amazing, and plenty that suck. You gotta pan for the gold. I'm looking for vids guaranteed to launch a female into orbit around Venus. FLY ME TO THE MOON AND LET ME PLAY AMONG THE STARS...Its what sex is supposed to do.

I also recommend good porn to my readers. I get emails from readers curious to try things but seriously anxious about getting in the water. I dont proselytize them to get in the water, I teach them what to do if they get in the water. When I was a boy, wild animal trainer Clyde Beatty gave me pointers for controlling lions and tigers, I dont expect or want to be around lions and tigers, but it might be useful info if the need arises.

 

[Primalex]

The function of fiction is to provide options and possibilities. Porn exposes options and possibilities many arent aware exist. That said, no one is point a gun to your head forcing you to anything you dont wanna do. Its simply providing a menu and nutritional information.

*yawns*

This has what to do with the long-term effect of porn on society, culture and brains?

"All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; only the dose permits something not to be poisonous." - Paracelsus

And when we compare porn with food - no, porn actually lacks the nutritional information - because it does not show you the reality, but only the fiction. Imagine food would have no regulations and advertisers could write anything they want about a product, without being held responsible for the claims. How do you think your food shelf would look like then?

But even in such a situation someone will come along and say:"Oh yeah, well, that one food colorant is suspected to be carcinogenic, but...hey, nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to eat it, right?"

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

*yawns*

This has what to do with the long-term effect of porn on society, culture and brains?

"All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; only the dose permits something not to be poisonous." - Paracelsus

And when we compare porn with food - no, porn actually lacks the nutritional information - because it does not show you the reality, but only the fiction. Imagine food would have no regulations and advertisers could write anything they want about a product, without being held responsible for the claims. How do you think your food shelf would look like then?

But even in such a situation someone will come along and say:"Oh yeah, well, that one food colorant is suspected to be carcinogenic, but...hey, nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to eat it, right?"

You answer the question your goddamned way, and I'll do the same, does that work for you?

 

[bailadora]

I'd suggest you have a listen to what Cindy Gallop has to say on the subject...

Thanks for the links, Night L. I found myself nodding in agreement with many of her points.

I scout for the gems, and the gems arent the commercial manufactured stuff. As soon as I glimpse fake boobs and six pack abs I move on. There's some amateur vids that are amazing, and plenty that suck. You gotta pan for the gold. I'm looking for vids guaranteed to launch a female into orbit around Venus. FLY ME TO THE MOON AND LET ME PLAY AMONG THE STARS...Its what sex is supposed to do.

You clearly have much more time on your hands than I do. Or maybe it's just patience. Or both.

There's not much out there that appeals to this particular woman. Sure, I wanna see the sucking and the fucking and all of that. But I'm also interested in the connection between the participants; their enjoyment in/relishing of how they're making each other feel.

I'm a reaction junkie. Don't just show me her with his cock in her mouth. Show me how she's driving him out of his mind with pleasure. That's the kind of stuff that cranks my engine. Maybe that's why I generally prefer written erotica/porn over the visual.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Thanks for the links, Night L. I found myself nodding in agreement with many of her points.



You clearly have much more time on your hands than I do. Or maybe it's just patience. Or both.

There's not much out there that appeals to this particular woman. Sure, I wanna see the sucking and the fucking and all of that. But I'm also interested in the connection between the participants; their enjoyment in/relishing of how they're making each other feel.

I'm a reaction junkie. Don't just show me her with his cock in her mouth. Show me how she's driving him out of his mind with pleasure. That's the kind of stuff that cranks my engine. Maybe that's why I generally prefer written erotica/porn over the visual.

I'm retired, so...yes! I prolly do have more time

 

[nowiser]

McPorn

I think of porn the same way I do fast food. It's not really that nourishing, and if you consume it too regularly, it will make your mind 'fat and lazy.'

But if you haven't cum in a couple of days, your work shift has you just waving 'hi/bye' at the wife/girlfriend as you guys pass in the hallway, or you just need some quick comfort, and have to choose between fast food or masturbation. . .

Well, then, porn is your fifteen minute ticket to a quick fix.

But that's why I like literotica so much. I don't REMEMBER the porn I've watched. It's bland, fatty, lazy fare that grants momentary satisfaction. But a good story off of literotica can linger with me for DAYS. I'll think about it while I'm at work, or driving. And the good ones actually make me FEEL something. Nostalgia, or frustration, or . . . whatever.

I strongly believe that we all create our own 'selves' through a constant process of self-narration. Whether we're conscious of it or not. So erotic narrative, for me, makes me into a more erotic person overall. It sexualizes and sensitizes me. It whets and hones my sexual appetite, and increases my overall level of desire.

Whereas porn is like eating too much Taco Bell. Momentarily satisfying, but leaves me feeling bloated, and completely wrecks my sense of smell.

My 200 cents.

(oh, and shameless plug. . . read my stories damnit!)

 

[bailadora]

<snip> (oh, and shameless plug. . . read my stories damnit!)

Psst...a link in your sig might be helpful. Just sayin.

 

[nowiser]

Psst...a link in your sig might be helpful. Just sayin.

My bad. I'm a NOOB. Thought people would be able to access them through my profile. Urk!