Polyamory!

[RowanMist]

Hi everyone! I think this might be the best place to open a topic (if it hasn't already been done) about polyamory because, well, you guys and gals are great!

Well here goes! I'm in polyamorous relationship, and I'm looking for people’s opinions, stories, hardships, success stories, and anything else to this topic you'd like to share!

I’ll certainly add my own after I see what the response is…

 

[Night_Jasmine]

I must admit, you've caught my attention. I've never heard of such a relationship actually working. How do you handle jealousy issues?

 

[RowanMist]

Well it's not any easier then anybody else, but the key (like any relationship) is communication... If one of us isn't comfortable with what the other is doing, or wants to do, we say so. We're the most important thing for each other, so, sometimes, all you have to do is say so, and it ends there, but more often then not it's not that easy. Compromises help, but they often leave everyone not getting what then wanted. If it gets to the points where it can harm our relationship, we both want to get out of it. You need a lot of time to talk and everyone involved needs to know everybody else's priorities. Like any relationship, it has its ups and downs, but so far so good!

I hope that answers your question, feel free to ask more!

 

[Night_Jasmine]

Forgive my ignorance but when you use the term polyamory - do you mean a couple who have what's considered an "Open relationship" or do you mean that three people in a triad relationship for example?

I've heard this term used in several different ways.

 

[RowanMist]

I meant open relationship, but it can include three way relationships too. Polyamory just means more then two people.

 

[Night_Jasmine]

*blush* Okay, I have been educated tonight. Thank you for your patience.

 

[RowanMist]

Anytime! I'm glad I could help!

 

[Bucephalos]

In a perfect world

I have never had any success at making this work. A lack of communication is usually what ends up making the whole situation fall apart. That, and jealousy rearing its ugly head.

 

[Chicklet]

I was in a poly relationship for a few months. In the long term, I think it sucked. Now I'm a big monogomy girl. heh.

My roommates are polyamorous, in that they have an open relationship, and are actively inviting people to be in their family. It's sort of interesting to me because they both get all giddy like schoolchildren to go on dates with other people.

It's also interesting because their room is right under mine and *i can hear everything*

 

[Night_Jasmine]

In a way, I think I'd be afraid of it. Too much of an emotional risk to become hurt. Then there's the health issues involved.

 

[RowanMist]

In a way, I think I'd be afraid of it. Too much of an emotional risk to become hurt. Then there's the health issues involved.

That's why communication is so important. You need to have a solid relationship before you can start going out looking for more...

 

[Etoile]

Ack! I thought I already posted on this thread!

NJ, I know many people with successful poly relationships. This includes the generally open type, the triad type, and the "more than triad" type. For myself, I have been in a long-term poly triad for several years. I have been with my wife for 9 years, my Daddy for 7 years, and the three of us have been a triad for 3.5 years.

I won't deny that it's hard sometimes. The three of us do not have sex together because I still have issues with jealousy. They are MUCH improved from past years, when I actually got really angry, but the jealousy is still there. But that doesn't mean the three of us don't love each other or don't spend time together - we just don't have sex with all three of us involved, only two-by-two. I would still say that our poly situation is successful, as we are happy for the most part.

And yet I know of poly "flocks" that seem to have basically no jealousy. I have a few friends in this situation, and I envy them! It takes a lot of work to reach that point, but it's even more rewarding than the situation I'm in.

Polyamory is not for everyone. It has brought the greatest pain I have ever known, but it has also brought the greatest joy I have ever known.