Polyamorous Pansexual Problems

[CandiCame]

Ok... So I've been dating this girl for around 9 months or so now. Everything's been going pretty good. She and I decided that we'd like to bring another guy into the bedroom, and asked out a guy. We had a good run, and everything was fine. This guy is really into me and takes me out to eat and shit and that's cool too.

But for the past three days, this guy has been wanting me to go out with him every single day. I don't care to spend time with people. But this is not a man that I am in love with. I have known him for THREE DAYS. I hung out with him today until 1:00am. Which is fine. We fucked around, had fun, watched stupid Youtube shit, you know, just hung out. He drops me off and then calls me. Instantly. After I hung out with him ALL DAY.

Bri & I can't get a second alone. This guy is all over me. He invites himself to my house. He calls me at odd hours. I don't care to hang out with him or go on dates or whatever, but this is ANNOYING. So I try to explain to him that I want some time to, you know, live, and that he's being annoying, and he's like, "Yeah, I hate it when people do that" and then proceeds to JUST SHOW UP.

He has to go to Tenn to pick up his kid and I kinda wish to god that he would stay there. Just stay there. But when I try to tell him that he's smothering me he starts crying and shit and has gotten to the point where he says that he's going to move down here to be close to me. I explained to him that this was a really shitty town and he shouldn't do that. But he wants too anyway.

Bri REALLY wants me to say something to him, but I don't know what else I can say. I don't want to break his heart but who the fuck gets that emotionally attached that fast? Seriously?

Its late and I'm typing this partially to get some opinions and partially just to get it out of my system. I'm not gonna wake anybody up to bitch about this guy.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

You're going to have to be blunt, and probably painfully so. Being polite isn't going to help this situation. He sounds quite attached and you're going to have to be cruel to be kind. Sorry.

 

[Nightierub]

Sounds like he got very involved after a sexual encounter, but also possible stalker material as well. Gonna have to say something and if they feel hurt, thats not really your responsibility siince they are acting too attached. Hopefully you won't need a restraining order.

 

[mac_crazy]

You're going to have to be blunt, and probably painfully so. Being polite isn't going to help this situation. He sounds quite attached and you're going to have to be cruel to be kind. Sorry.

I agree with MMM... If I were you, I'd be blunt, and ASAP. It's never easy, and that's never really my style, but I've learned (and re-learned, and re-learned again) that being "polite" in this sort of situation to avoid hurting someone's feelings just makes it worse down the road... because if it's bad/annoying now, and you let it fester, it's only going to get worse, and that much more difficult to break it to him later. The more time that goes on, the more attached he's going to get, whether you mean to encourage it or not.

In his mind, every moment you're not telling him to get farther away, you're telling him to get closer.


Good luck!