poll: stuff you wish you knew before you were married...

[silverwhisper]

what kinds of stuff did you wish you knew before you got married?

ed

p.s.: my answers later.

 

[EJFan]

i'm not married so i can't answer this in any meaningful way... however, if i could give someone pre-marital advice, it'd be that marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

 

[pplwatching]

what kinds of stuff did you wish you knew before you got married?

I got married at 30 years old, and I've been married for almost 11 years. Here's my list :

That choosing to marry this particular woman would be the single most important decision in my life. It has impacted every single area of my life.
That sex could be so fulfilling.
That my wife would be so willing to understand my needs, and strive to meet them, both in and out of the bedroom
That I'd be learning something new about my wife all the time, because she's always growing as a person.
That my wife would be so willing to work through problems together.
That working through problems together would be so gratifying.
That I would be so emotionally connected to another human being.
That raising children together would be so rewarding.
That my children would love me so unconditionally.
That building a future together would feel so good.
That my in laws would be such wonderful people, and such a huge part of my life.
That I would be so happy to be married.

 

[Eilan]

I wish I hadn't underestimated the "Communicate, communicate, communicate" advice before I married my ex. We spent so much time talking about things, but we never really talked about the important stuff until it was too late. I think we've both learned from our mistakes.

There's a reason so many of us include this in our advice to others.

 

[pvc_sister]

I wish I'd known that my husband was gonna leave me only a fortnight after our first anniversary for another woman, despite the fact that we'd been together for 15 years and had a daughter!

Although I am glad he did, because I hooked up with an old friend of mine and we've been together 2 and a half years and are madly in love!

I just wish I'd known marriage does have to be worked at, something neither of us was willing to do. Well, shit does happen

 

[BTK51]

Not sure that there is anything that I would want to know. There are a lot of things that I would change or do differently but most of what I needed to know, I had to learn while being married. Maybe realizing how difficult and yet wonderful married life can be.

I do wish the internet was around back then though.

 

[SweetErika]

We dated for about five years before marriage, and lived together for several of them, so there haven't been many surprises. I have found myself in conflict with the traditional ideas of sexuality and marriage though; that it's about two straight people being monogamous for the rest of their lives, and it's just tough luck if your spouse doesn't fulfill your needs. Since getting married, we've learned that all sorts of configurations work as long as there is a very strong foundation, love, and communication.

 

[silverwhisper]

i wish i knew that even a good relationship takes work.

ed

 

[revolution724]

I wish I knew I was gay before I got married. That would have saved me an awful lot of hassle.

 

[Hooper_X]

what kinds of stuff did you wish you knew before you got married?

Not to get married

 

[NaughtyLil1]

That being in love doesn't necessarily mean happily ever after.

 

[Undomiel]

marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

That cracked me up!

 

[~hellbaby~]

what kinds of stuff did you wish you knew before you got married?

ed

p.s.: my answers later.

I wish I knew enough to listen to common sense and follow my gut instinct, but I didn't.

 

[Huggles]

Make sure you live together before you get married. (I didn't get the opportunity)
Get pre-marriage councelling (and not necassarily the religious kind). (Wish I had)
If you believe she/he won't turn out like her/his mother/father, your wrong. (Was I wrong or what)
ASK and LISTEN to your parents advice.. And your Grandparents if they are still around. They have a wealth of experience. (I asked, I just chose to not believe them... they were right <sigh>)

 

[ewopper]

Iwish I knew she'd stop wanting sex as often

to go from every day to zero after the babies comes was a big letdown

 

[Lyrical Fool]

Things I wish I knew before I got married:

1) That my sex drive would increase.
2) That I could find someone better matched for me.
3) That comfort wasn't love.
4) That I knew myself better.

Although, looking back, seeing how the events of my life are all connected, I can't say I regret a thing. So maybe, overall, I am glad I didn't know that stuff back then.

Because the journey would have been much, much different.

 

[HornyHenry]

PreNups

what kinds of stuff did you wish you knew before you got married?

ed

p.s.: my answers later.

and the costs of lawyers