Polar Vortex vs Solar Vortex

[Fata Morgana]

I'm so hungry, I could eat the asshole out of a skunk.

Indie, bend over?

 

[JohnnySavage]

Indie, bend over?

If Indie was here, I bet he'd order us a pizza.

 

[Fata Morgana]

If Indie was here, I bet he'd order us a pizza.

Mine would have cyanide on it. But...I don't like pizza.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Mine would have cyanide on it. But...I don't like pizza.

Well... in all fairness you've probably only ever had the English version of it.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Well... in all fairness you've probably only ever had the English version of it.

No I had pizza in Venice.

 

[JohnnySavage]

No I had pizza in Venice.

It makes me very sad that people in England don't have access to good food.


...I have to stop thinking about it or I'll cry.

 

[Fata Morgana]

It makes me very sad that people in England don't have access to good food.


...I have to stop thinking about it or I'll cry.

Bollock Head is just saying the same to me on the phone. Dunno where you Yanks get that impression from. Especially as your nation grub is a cuntburger.

 

[Fata Morgana]

Come over here and I'll give you the best roast beef and Yorkshire pudding you've ever tasted.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Come over here and I'll give you the best roast beef and Yorkshire pudding you've ever tasted.

If by roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, you mean boobs and sweet Fata lovin, I'm on the next plane!

 

[Fata Morgana]

If by roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, you mean boobs and sweet Fata lovin, I'm on the next plane!

I do. And I'll throw in some creamy Eton Mess for afters!

 

[JohnnySavage]

I do. And I'll throw in some creamy Eton Mess for afters!

Strawberry Shortcake with no short cake...

 

[unregistered]

 

[Fata Morgana]

Shut up.

Our wooing of each other is like a delicate waltz.

 

[JohnnySavage]

this is like watching two wallflowers at the prom

I haven't really brought out the big gun(s) yet because I don't know if such a delicate English rose can handle a manly American man like Johnny.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Fata Morgana]

You pair are like The Two Ronnies.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I wonder why I can't print from my phone.


Maybe I can and I just don't know it...

 

[JohnnySavage]

Other than wondering why I can't print from my phone, here's what's on my mind this morning:

- I have no food in the manse; Which means I have to go to the grocery store.
- That means I should make a list.
- I'm not hungry right now though so nothing sounds good, which means my list will be inadequate.
- If I'm leaving the house, I need to stop at the Alien Transport Machine and get some cash out for the yard guy.
- My yard guy is unreliable. Sometimes he shows up, sometimes he doesn't. Right now my grass is about 3' high.
- Which reminds me that most of the women I've know in my life have been pretty unreliable too.
- Of course, if all the women are unreliable, it could be me.
- Despite that, I'm thinking it's time for me to take a wife. I'll be 51 in November.
- Next Summer I'm going to sell the Savage Manse and move to a place called Deep Creek Lake, Maryland. So should I take a city wife or wait and take a country wife?
- Moving is a pain and I've been selling some junk on Craig's List; but I really don't like the hassle.
- I should just get a dumpster and clean house, but I'm cheap and would hate to throw something away that someone would pay me $5 for.
- Lots of little projects to do to the manse to get it ready to sell next year.
- If I'm going out in public, I should probably take a shower.
- If I'm going to the hassle of taking a shower, I might as well shave too.
- and don't forget the money for the yard guy.
- I don't think I have any razor blades...

 

[Fata Morgana]

Johnny I'm building up to a massive nap right now.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Johnny I'm building up to a massive nap right now.

I was up all night last night, but surprisingly I'm not sleepy. The thought of leaving the house has me all keyed up.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I was up all night last night, but surprisingly I'm not sleepy. The thought of leaving the house has me all keyed up.

You're turning into a weirdo hermit. I do have to admit, that does appeal to me. For me I mean, sometimes I think I could happily go months without human contact.

We'll be find when you take me for your country wife. You have to kill spiders though. That's my only demand on you.

 

[JohnnySavage]

You're turning into a weirdo hermit. I do have to admit, that does appeal to me. For me I mean, sometimes I think I could happily go months without human contact.

We'll be find when you take me for your country wife. You have to kill spiders though. That's my only demand on you.

I don't really have a problem with spiders. But if you want me to kill one, it's as good as dead.

Snakes give me the willies though. Don't ask me to touch a snake.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I don't really have a problem with spiders. But if you want me to kill one, it's as good as dead.

Snakes give me the willies though. Don't ask me to touch a snake.

I'm not scared of snakes. But spiders terrify me more than a Byron thread.

 

[dolf]

I want fata to make an honest man of you, just so that I can buy a huge hat and throw up in your crocs on her hen night.

 

[JohnnySavage]

One of the many great things about Crocs is that they are washable.