Pleasure in Punishment?

[tkitty0992]

Hi, there. i'm very new to the BDSM community and lifestyle. i'm currently in my first month of training with my first Master.

Recently, i had my first punishment session. Master told me it was supposed to be painful, and it was, on the surface. But i couldn't help but feel pleasure in the feel of His whip. During the first, and most of it, honestly, there wasn't any apparent reason to the punishment aside from Master's own want.

At a couple points, i did commit transgressions that required punishment. i lied about enjoying myself, and about trying to lick when i was not allowed. i again felt the lash of my Master's whip, but it felt different. i cried, but not from the pain. i cried because i disappointed Master. The physical pain only sharpened the pain in my heart. Even through it, i couldn't ignore the pleasure hiding deep under each lash.

Is that wrong? Have i erred somewhere on my path, feeling such pleasure in punishment like this?

 

[abvt75]

It's very interesting to know this. I am glad you are letting it go off your chest. I think this is an opportunity for you to go back to your master and say you lied and you felt pleasure. Zzzz

And see how he responds... May be another session of whipping your skin red for lying to him???
PM me if you are looking for more detailed answer as I don know your back story and basis of your relationship

Ron

 

[tkitty0992]

It's very interesting to know this. I am glad you are letting it go off your chest. I think this is an opportunity for you to go back to your master and say you lied and you felt pleasure. Zzzz

And see how he responds... May be another session of whipping your skin red for lying to him???
PM me if you are looking for more detailed answer as I don know your back story and basis of your relationship

Ron

i think i may have created a misunderstanding. The transgressions i committed, i confessed to, and was punished for in turn, as i described. Perhaps i was not very clear. It's more that without a clear focus on why i was being punished, i couldn't help but enjoy it. Even when i knew and understood why i was being punished, i couldn't put off the pleasure.

i told my Master this, and He instructed that i look to other slaves/submissives to find more input and advice.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Hi, there. i'm very new to the BDSM community and lifestyle. i'm currently in my first month of training with my first Master.

Recently, i had my first punishment session. Master told me it was supposed to be painful, and it was, on the surface. But i couldn't help but feel pleasure in the feel of His whip. During the first, and most of it, honestly, there wasn't any apparent reason to the punishment aside from Master's own want.

At a couple points, i did commit transgressions that required punishment. i lied about enjoying myself, and about trying to lick when i was not allowed. i again felt the lash of my Master's whip, but it felt different. i cried, but not from the pain. i cried because i disappointed Master. The physical pain only sharpened the pain in my heart. Even through it, i couldn't ignore the pleasure hiding deep under each lash.

Is that wrong? Have i erred somewhere on my path, feeling such pleasure in punishment like this?

The bolded part is what is often referred to as a "funishment" around here.
If it's wrong or right for you to feel pleasure during the process is up to the two of you, in my opinion. How do you want it to work in your relationship?

 

[midwestyankee]

Disclaimer: my take on the notion of rules and punishments in power-exchange relationships is not taken out of the mythical Master/slave text-book that is secretly exchanged by all the Christian Greys of the BDSM world.

The internal pain that you felt while being punished physically was, in my view, the true punishment. Guilt hurts more than any flogging. This is why I just don't get into the idea of using a physical act like a flogging for punishment. If you're both fully engaged adults in a relationship, doing something willfully that might harm the relationship should bring about enough guilt to keep you from making the same mistake again in the future.

I like to maintain the sense that I spank or flog or paddle my submissive partner because I want to, not because I have to. It's part of how I express my feelings for her and I don't want any of those acts to be confused for either of us with discipline. But that's just me, and I'm not a textbook dominant partner.

 

[tkitty0992]

The bolded part is what is often referred to as a "funishment" around here.
If it's wrong or right for you to feel pleasure during the process is up to the two of you, in my opinion. How do you want it to work in your relationship?

Master said he'd tell me his opinion after i'd gotten some feedback on my issue. Based on the rules i have and follow, it's hard for me to really feel the contrast between the two, given my masochistic qualities.

As for how i want it to work in my relationship, i want to please Him. i haven't felt happiness like the sound of His pleasure, be it physical or in my progress. i want to learn to be better for Him. Does that mean i'm maybe on the right track?

 

[tkitty0992]

This is how i felt about it. The physical punishment might help solidify the direction i am to go in, but the guilt overwhelmed everything else for me, as far as learning from the punishment went. Thank You.

 

[MeekMe]

Master said he'd tell me his opinion after i'd gotten some feedback on my issue. Based on the rules i have and follow, it's hard for me to really feel the contrast between the two, given my masochistic qualities.

As for how i want it to work in my relationship, i want to please Him. i haven't felt happiness like the sound of His pleasure, be it physical or in my progress. i want to learn to be better for Him. Does that mean i'm maybe on the right track?

I don't quite understand your situation, but there's a difference between funishment and punishment as Iris pointed out. Funishment can be fun for both parties (I hope it's fun for both) whereas punishment is used to dissuade you from doing something. Punishment is usually something you wouldn't like to have happen. So if you're masochistic, being whipped may not be the best form of punishment.

With that said, not all power exchange relationships use a punishment system. Take mine for example, if there are issues we talk and come to an understanding to correct them.

Can't tell you if you're on the right track. Only the two of you can decide what is right for your relationship.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Master said he'd tell me his opinion after i'd gotten some feedback on my issue. Based on the rules i have and follow, it's hard for me to really feel the contrast between the two, given my masochistic qualities.

As for how i want it to work in my relationship, i want to please Him. i haven't felt happiness like the sound of His pleasure, be it physical or in my progress. i want to learn to be better for Him. Does that mean i'm maybe on the right track?

I don't know what the right track will be for you.
If what you want most is to please him, then you might want to build actual punishment on that, rather than physical pain that you actually like.

If he doesn't want you to feel pleasure at all even if its a "funishment" and you are ok with that, I guess you would have to find some kind of pain or level of pain that you don't enjoy taking but he likes to give.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

We do lots of impact play, often to a fairly heavy level, but it is play.
We would never do impact or pain play as punishment as that could so easily become abuse.
If I have transgressed, we talk about it and figure out why.
Did I understand what was being asked
Was I capable of it
Was it a deliberate act or a misunderstanding.

Imho punishment for the sake of punishment is wrong and will not teach either of you anything.

As for enjoying the impact, yep, many of us do.

 

[Primalex]

Even through it, i couldn't ignore the pleasure hiding deep under each lash.

Punishing a masochist with pain is guaranteed to cause confusion.

 

[desertslave]

If I'm to be genuinely punished (not something we frequently do in a formal sense) it is definitely not going to involve physical pain. Master knows that's a lost cause with me, I'm too much of a painslut for that to the desired effect.

The emotional pain in knowing that I've disappointed him somehow, though, that cuts deep and sure. We don't have a lot of particular rules. If I make a mistake it's more likely to be forgetting to run an errand or accomplish something that's expected of me. I'm a menopausal ditz with ADD so it happens more often than either of us would like. I tend to take it to heart when I know I've let him down.

When he does choose to discipline me in a specific way, I freely admit that there is a sort of satisfaction in this. Not physical pleasure, but an emotional reassurance that he's paying attention (even if I haven't), acting on it, and teaching me so that it won't happen again. It's comforting to know that it's been addressed and that, through the discipline, I've attained forgiveness and we can move on.

 

[tkitty0992]

All of this makes a lot of sense. i never thought that physical punishment would be very effective going into this M/s relationship, and Master had his doubts on it as well. i feel confident now going to Him to display my findings. Thanks, E/everyone!

 

[wicked woman]

I agree with the others...separate any necessary punishment from the pain play. If you enjoy the pain play, it shouldn't be used for punishment. Have your Master man up that he wants to flog you or whatever and just do it. I've never understood reinforcing bad behaviour with enjoyable deeds. It becomes counter productive. Not only do you get mixed feelings, like you are, but you get pyls purposely misbehaving to get punished!

I don't call it funishment...it's just fun. And I don't need to be punished. I feel terrible enough having disappointed him.

 

[tkitty0992]

Well, i think we figured out a happy medium as far as pain and punishment goes. Master brought out the Electrosex kit for the first time. i'd never experienced it before. He turned it up, ten minutes at 50%, all said and done. It hurt, without even a semblance of pleasure in it. Master was satisfied with the reaction i gave, and i was happy to have pleased Master, receiving punishment as it was intended, to dissuade bad behavior.

 

[skinnysinner]

I don't call it funishment...it's just fun. And I don't need to be punished. I feel terrible enough having disappointed him.[/QUOTE]

I think that's the crux, and the heart of the relationship.

If I really need to punish my sub then maybe we got the discussion wrong. She enjoys pain, I enjoy delivering, therefore not punishment.

If she deliberately disappoints and punishment is really needed then a lack of contact or a withdrawal of something pleasurable is all it takes

 

[Kim_Burly]

Speaking for myself, the pain of having disappointing Sir is not punishment enough for me. Once Sir has physically punished me, it is over, we move on, don't look back and I feel cleansed. In our two years I think he has probably only given me "true" punishments five or so times. With the changes brought about by my therapy and Sir's guidance I feel that this model fits us even better than before, if that is possible. That's what is working for us.

 

[oneguy4fun]

There are forms of punishment other than pain. For example, no attention from him, assigning you a boring task to do, or restricting privileges such as phone, computer, or time with friends. As others have said, if you enjoy pain then it is not really a punishment.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I do see value in physical punishment. Someone watching Daddy use a belt (or other implement) on me may see the exact same thing externally for the 3 different ways it may feel to both him and I.

The mindset of us both and the way it physically feels to me is different depending on whether it is punishment, or a beating as foreplay to sex, or a beating to as a way to get into subspace (or dom space for him) There may be some overlap.

The very, very few times that it has been a used as punishment has led to sex eventually but the punishment also served it's purpose. I never repeated the transgressions.

We also discuss issues and problems but sometimes for us a physical punishment clears the air. It ends the discussion and brings a kind of grounded peacefulness that can't be brought about just by discussion as efficiently.