please help me

[Riot Girl]

Ok, my bf was really good in bed up untill about a month ago. Now everytime we have sex he either goes soft or he cums after about 5 mins. It's really starting to piss him off and it makes me feel like im doing something wrong.

Any advice would be good. Thanks

 

[hydrex]

Ok, my bf was really good in bed up untill about a month ago. Now everytime we have sex he either goes soft or he cums after about 5 mins. It's really starting to piss him off and it makes me feel like im doing something wrong.

Any advice would be good. Thanks

five minutes? I'd say your ahead of the game.

 

[silverwhisper]

there's a bunch of possible causes:

1. any changes in diet/medication/health recently?
2. changes in amount of stress?
3. is he "flying solo" more frequently?

any of those things are possible causes but he isn't doing himself any favors by getting pissed off about it, either: that might be making things more difficult for himself.

ed

 

[Halo_n_horns]

There's a lot of factors that can be causing this, as already mentioned. Something you can do to help is talking to him about his wants, needs and desires and see if there's something that he's longing for that he doesn't feel comfortable opening up about. If something new comes out that you didn't know about, be supportive and see if there's a way you can make it work for him and you.

Also, change postions every couple of minutes. One position can get old and the body will get tired of the repetitiveness of the motion. I had experienced this some years ago and decided to have more fun with "pornstar sex" than always doing the same stuff over and over. The best night we've had from breaking up the monotony of only using a few positions was nearly an hour and a half of straight fuckin'. After a bit it does get difficult to cum from all of that because a numbness sets in. But breaking up the positions seemed to help control that also.

We don't even try to go that long anymore. Anywhere between five minutes and half an hour is just fine now.

Add this stuff to the advice of checking his stress levels and how much he's masturbating, plus exercise and what's going into his body, and you should be able to overcome this little hurdle.

 

[Riot Girl]

thnks

yeah it could be that he's stressed a lot, but thanks, that's really helped

 

[silverwhisper]

assuming you guys aren't doing anything differently b/n the sheets (or whatever locale-specific description is appropriate), it's almost certainly nothing either of you is doing. :>

ed

 

[Eilan]

It's really starting to piss him off and it makes me feel like im doing something wrong.

It's been mentioned already, but it's worth repeating: both of you should avoid placing blame, even if you're blaming yourselves and not each other. It's counterproductive.

1. any changes in diet/medication/health recently?
2. changes in amount of stress?
3. is he "flying solo" more frequently?

These questions are a good place to start. If you can eliminate some of the possibilities, it can help you get to the root of the problem.

Good luck.

 

[nycphoto]

Find another toy.

 

[Silkie Butterfly]

hmmm

My husband has the same problem...I tend to jump onto digi-chat or just meander about the stories in here and find my own release before going to him, makes it less frustrating for me when he cums too quickly. He can get pissy about this, but I just kindly remind him that women have needs to and in reality I'm doing him a favor by taking care of mine first...now he doesn't get shoes thrown at him as much *grins*.

 

[DevilsAngel369]

My husband has the same problem...I tend to jump onto digi-chat or just meander about the stories in here and find my own release before going to him, makes it less frustrating for me when he cums too quickly. He can get pissy about this, but I just kindly remind him that women have needs to and in reality I'm doing him a favor by taking care of mine first...now he doesn't get shoes thrown at him as much *grins*.

Stress and medications are usually the main reasons for a man to lose his retention