Please grovel, bitch?

[LargoKitt]

This is what it's about.

"My kink isn't your kink, and that's okay."
But you don't get to judge my kink from a place of non-understanding. Humiliation, degredation, bodily harm, all of those can fall under the umbrella of safe, sane and most importantly consensual. If it does, there's really nothing more that you need to understand.

Sadly, there are too many people who get off on things that are non-consensual. That's never okay.

Understanding the importance of consent is the first step towards understanding a lot of sexual practices.

You do realize we are talking about a kink that ritualizes non-consent. "It's all okay because she agreed to act like she totally doesn't agree. And I'm getting off on pretending she didn't agree. And my true fantasy is if this was real." Does that pretty much get it? And maybe he can find a really good 'actor' because someone will provide him with an undocumented human-trafficked woman who has been shot up with heroin and doesn't get her next fix until she tells the john, "Sure, I'll do anything you want. Just don't mess up my face...much."

 

[LargoKitt]

They didn't say!

piranha

 

[LargoKitt]

OK, but to add my wrinkle to this: there's all the difference in the world between wanting to practice non-consensual activities in the real world and fantasizing about non-consensual activities within the space of erotic stories. This is a point that I think some people get confused about in this forum, but, IMO, if they are going to be consistent with the tolerant posture they take in this thread they should be clear about this.

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with people getting off on fantasies that involve non-consent. People fantasize about what they fantasize about, and I don't judge that any more than I judge people who like to submit to humiliation and degradation, the subject the OP brought up.

We've got some levels here: Fantasies that go on in your own head don't harm other people. However, your fantasies might cause you to treat other people differently. If your fantasy includes endorsing or enabling people who do it in real life, now we are getting iffy. Fantasies in print can be enjoyed without harming others, unless you neglect them for your fantasies. Teaching young people your fantasies are harmless if they're not when done in real life can have bad consequences. Recordings of real people acting out your fantasies can be harmless, or they can be damaging to the actors. Add your own.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

We've got some levels here: Fantasies that go on in your own head don't harm other people. However, your fantasies might cause you to treat other people differently. If your fantasy includes endorsing or enabling people who do it in real life, now we are getting iffy. Fantasies in print can be enjoyed without harming others, unless you neglect them for your fantasies. Teaching young people your fantasies are harmless if they're not when done in real life can have bad consequences. Recordings of real people acting out your fantasies can be harmless, or they can be damaging to the actors. Add your own.

And every time we get into our car, we might hit a pedestrian.

 

[lovecraft68]

And every time we get into our car, we might hit a pedestrian.

As Pink Floyd says every breath brings you closer to death.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've never seen some people's personal erotic fantasies dissected to this degree.

Imagine if we had this level of discussion over Burn the bitch stories that feature actual violence and harm being done to women-and their lovers at times as well-that is not erotic in any way and just promotes violence and hatred while being placed in an erotic story category and promoted as it having sexual gratification.

That's the authors, the readers are far worse demanding the story should have went further, posting their own views of how the bitch should have gotten hers. Go look at my post of a comment left on my story by 26thnc where he describes my characters being killed.

These aren't sexual fantasies, these are wishing violence on fictional people but in a very real unhinged manner. These people make non con stories look like feminist literature, and I don't recall a comment ever saying "should have raped her harder"

Call me crazy, but I find that far more concerning, but talk about that type and you get the same people racing in to defend them and try to say its erotic and acceptable.

But let's not worry about those people or call them out.

Nah let's just keep picking at people that have rough sex fantasies they try to enjoy but are judged harder than people calling for violence and murder.

Sounds about right.

 

[redgarters]

You do realize we are talking about a kink that ritualizes non-consent. "It's all okay because she agreed to act like she totally doesn't agree. And I'm getting off on pretending she didn't agree. And my true fantasy is if this was real." Does that pretty much get it? And maybe he can find a really good 'actor' because someone will provide him with an undocumented human-trafficked woman who has been shot up with heroin and doesn't get her next fix until she tells the john, "Sure, I'll do anything you want. Just don't mess up my face...much."

An undocumented human-trafficked woman who has been shot up with heroin and doesn't get her next fix until she tells the john, "Sure, I'll do anything you want. Just don't mess up my face...much" isn't capable of providing consent.
That is not consent. That's abuse/violence.

This is the point I was making. In BDSM, consent rules all. But then you have people, like in your example, who get off on/don't respect/don't care about real consent. Those people aren't practicing BDSM, they are practicing violence against other human beings.

It's an all-important difference, and one of the main problems I have with discussions like this one is that people automatically associate violence and abuse with BDSM because they don't understand this difference.