please explain butch/femme... and why be butch?

[shy little fairy]

to any of you out there who maybe are butch, or have some insight and can help answer this question. why be butch?

i do not see anything wrong w/ lesbian couples, in fact, i myself fully appreciate the beauty of a woman's body (maybe i'm bicurious?). but my point is, if you like WOMEN, and you like the body of a WOMAN, why would lesbians be attracted to manly-looking women? i mean, if you want a man, go get a man. right?

(i'm not trying to sound degrading, it's just a thought that has been floating around in my head, and for the life of me i don't understand).

also, maybe my idea of butch is very commercialized. anyone have a good definition to give me, or to explain the idea of a butch/femme relationship?

 

[Cigan]

You are looking at sexuality as an on off switch. If you look at the research Dr. Kinsey did on human sexuality, very few people are 100% gay or straight. He had a 6 point scale. With 1 being completely straight and 6 being completely gay. Most people were around 2 or 5. With 1 and 6 being very rare, and a perfect inbetween 3 being the rarest (Note he used decimals, it isn't quite as cut and dry as whole numbers). So you have to realize that to a lot of lesbians who are attracted to butch gals and gay guys who are attracted to effeminite guys, it's that slight variance. It's usually not enough to move a person to actually be attracted to the opposite sex, but it does allow for attraction to some traits traditionally associated with the opposite sex in the same sex. I hope that helped and made sense.

 

[Angel]

A butch woman is still a woman.

 

[Adrenaline]

A butch woman is still a woman.

That's what I was thinking. I'm not a lesbian so I'm not talking from experience, but when reading some of the good lesbian erotica here with butch femme's you never forget once that they are first and foremost female; they may display traits that are commonly associated with men but they never eclipse the essential sex of the character. IMO.

 

[WhisperHaven]

I have often been attracted to butch women. I think it's the feeling of power that they emanate. I love the feeling of a powerful person holding me closely when I'm feeling vulnerable. Then again, that could also explain my sub side and why I am attracted to Dominas.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm what you'd call a "lipstick lesbian" (except I'm bi, not lesbian).. I'm very feminine, do the makeup thing religiously (I like it, don't need it, but enjoy putting it on), dress to show off my body, etc. I'm girly. Not like, afraid of dirty/prissy, but girly.

I am mostly attracted to feminine women as well. My current love, while I'm sure she could kick my ass (and is much shorter than me so I find that funny), is still very feminine, girly, and pretty. I don't catch any butch vibe to her at all.

And it's always been that way for me. I just guess, as a bisexual person, maybe I prefer the feminine part of a woman, as opposed to the male part of the man, which I love as well, IN the man.

 

[killallhippies]

because.



that's all the reason they need.

 

[shy little fairy]

thank you

thanx to all of you who posted on this. i really did enjoy your answers - i mean, it was just a different way of looking at things (especially that sexually spectrum of maybe finding an inbetween?).
well, anyways, i do appreciate it all.
and yes, vixen she - i guess that's just the only way i saw it. i'm not really sure if i'm bisexual yet, or if maybe i just think of girls occasionally because of so much good stuff here on lit , but i definately am more attracted to the very girly types of women, so i guess i just wasn't looking outside my own box.

learn something new every day!

 

[MzChrista]

Its not about man/woman. Gender is more fluid that that. Masculinity doesnt belong just to males or femininity to females. Everyone is really a mix of both.

Also, the difference between men and women is not just about what they look like. A person could be attracted to masculine appearance but feminine attitude.

 

[shelleb4]

I like this question, and i appreciated the answers.
I myself am bi now married.
What i wonder is why are so called butch lesbians so aggressive to lipstick wearers?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Hello:

My current She pointed out earlier that she does not consider me *butch* but I believe I am..at least soft butch. I am not the girly type at all. Never have been.

Yea, I do dresses for pics..but usually they are fetish type photos and I am built very ummm femininely. In normal day to day though..I am the jeans, jerseys and timberland type...short hair, no make-up, no nail polish.

Not to say that I do not appreciate girly type things...it's just not for me on a regular basis.

Now if you were to ask me what makes a butch..i would say an aura of confidence, the ability to make one feel safe...being butch is not about trying to be a man...it is about taking certain male *aspects* and incorporating them...making them more feminine than masculine...but that is just what i think.

pet

 

[stephb]

I find myself attracted to all types of women and men; it's really not an issue of butch vs. femme for me at all. Then again, considering that I'm bisexual, maybe it's normal.

I think I'm about as close to a 3 on the scale as you can get. I like men and women, if not completely, almost equally. I *do* have those 'lust at first sight' moments, but for the most part it takes me a while to become attracted to anyone. For the most part, I'd say that my attraction to people is based on personality and the way they carry themselves.

That said, I do find myself attracted to butch lesbians more on a 'lust at first sight' basis, but only slightly. I have a crush on one woman now who couldn't be mistaken for a man if you tried...mmm. Pity she's not gay.

 

[Never]

shelleb4:
"What i wonder is why are so called butch lesbians so aggressive to lipstick wearers?"

I'm not certain what you mean by 'aggressive'. Do you mean why do butch lesbians aggressively hit on more feminine women? Or, do you mean why do they aggressively dislike them?

Either way, I'd disagree with you. There are non-aggressive butches.

 

[Angel]

What are we defining butch as exactly? Because it seems to me as if different people are using the term "butch" to describe 3 or 4 different things.

Seriously.

My answer will still be, that Butch Women are Still Women. But I can add to it.


Also, I was stalking Never. Hi.

 

[sexy-girl]

What are we defining butch as exactly? Because it seems to me as if different people are using the term "butch" to describe 3 or 4 different things.

Seriously.

My answer will still be, that Butch Women are Still Women. But I can add to it.


Also, I was stalking Never. Hi.

to me the best way to define someone is always to listen to how they define themselves


i agree also though butch is still a woman

 

[Never]

Hi Angel. It's good to know I'm still stalkable.

 

[sexy-girl]

Hi Angel. It's good to know I'm still stalkable.

you haven't lost any of your never-appeal

 

[Netzach]

Who the hell knows why things trip triggers?

I'm the opposite of vixenshe. I like my girls boyish and my boys girlish, except when I like my girls girlish too.

Butch is a totally viable identity for people who always felt confined, annoyed, and restricted in a feminine identity.

And they are, unless they should cease defining as female in an ongoing way....women.

 

[Angel]

Hi Angel. It's good to know I'm still stalkable.

Well duh.

 

[Etoile]

Who the hell knows why things trip triggers?

I'm the opposite of vixenshe. I like my girls boyish and my boys girlish, except when I like my girls girlish too.

Me too. Androgyny is a big turn-on for me, as are butch women. (I'm pretty femme and so is my gf.)

Good links about the butch-femme dynamic:

http://www.butch-femme.com/
http://dmoz.org/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Lesbian/Butch-Femme/

 

[Jessalynvix]

let's see I'm femme and girly to a degree my gf is the opp. she is more butch she prefers to dress in guy clothes for she is more comfortable that way.

 

[DustyWolfe]

Put me in a dress and your gonna have a cat fight on your hands. Seriously! I'm not girly and my friends and partner respect that.

I dress the way I feel comfortable. I'm 100 butch and I'm proud of it. I'm not a dyke, you wont see a mullet on me. Just kidding, that's a misconception, a stereotype. But seriously when you see a woman with a mullet isn't the first thing you think of is "she's gay?" But see? It's all about stereotypes. In the gay community we have a hard enough time getting by without the stereotypes, and labels.

I've got short hair and I'm a convincing enough Drag King that I had a gay man try to take me home. Proud? Hell yeah, it's who I am.

I'm not trying to be a male. I'm just being who I am and acting and dressing the way I feel.

 

[Etoile]

*doublepost*

 

[Etoile]

Whoa! Who says dykes have mullets? Who says dykes look like that? Hell, I'm a dyke. Yeah, there are dykes with mullets, and I know the type of woman you're speaking about, but to me dyke is a MUCH broader term. I like the word.

 

[DustyWolfe]

I know what you are saying Etoile. I was only joking. I call myself a Dyke. I like it better than saying Lesbian. For some reason Lesbian feels offensive to me. I have no idea why though.