Please don't read this.

[Malcom_Kambell]

I am not even sure what this is. I just know I need to write and it needs to be public. I don't even know why, all I know is I have been feeling like doing this for awhile. I think I will just write here and hopefully I can get some kind of cathartic value from it.

"Life is pain." I know I heard that from a movie, but it seems so true. We have little fleeting moments of happiness and then they blow away in the hurricanes of truth. And when we see the storm coming and know that the little bit of happy we have could possibly be blown away we clutch it as tightly as possible. But in clutching that happiness it changes into fear. Fear of losing that happiness. But it isn't happiness anymore it is something different and self destructive. And as look out at the storm coming toward you it blows it self out, leaving you feeling afraid and alone with a handful of what used to be happiness crumpled in your palm.

 

[border_humper]

MK, I'm sure it will be more interesting when the ladies of Lit start offering advice. But until they do, hang tough. Talk it through. Remember the good stuff and say "fuck it" to the bad. See a shrink and gets some meds. Or not. Exercise like crazy. Get a puppy and take it to the park. PM your friends on lit.

 

[call_me_Melody]

I am not even sure what this is. I just know I need to write and it needs to be public. I don't even know why, all I know is I have been feeling like doing this for awhile. I think I will just write here and hopefully I can get some kind of cathartic value from it.

"Life is pain." I know I heard that from a movie, but it seems so true. We have little fleeting moments of happiness and then they blow away in the hurricanes of truth. And when we see the storm coming and know that the little bit of happy we have could possibly be blown away we clutch it as tightly as possible. But in clutching that happiness it changes into fear. Fear of losing that happiness. But it isn't happiness anymore it is something different and self destructive. And as look out at the storm coming toward you it blows it self out, leaving you feeling afraid and alone with a handful of what used to be happiness crumpled in your palm.

Oh honey, come here {{{hugs for you}}}
I am sorry, I don't know what is going on, but I can tell it is hurting you..
You know that as soon as you put "don't read this" that I was going to. It's just my nature, I'm terrible with Christmas presents too.

I'm glad I did though... please know that I understand that cycle of pain and you are talking about.
Know that it will get better... it really will, and if you want to talk just let me know...
It'll be alright...

{{{MK}}}

 

[Raindear816]

Malcom, sugar--

At this moment, words fail me. Please accept the sweetest hug and the most understanding ear at your disposal. I know exactly how you are feeling and wish to high heaven that you weren't feeling so unfortunate.

Please know that you are not alone.

Embracing you,
Ashleigh

 

[Malcom_Kambell]

I started watching Dr. Horribles Sing along Blog to try and bring me out of my funk and heard this song and it spoke to me.


Lyrics to On The Rise :
Any dolt with half a brain
Can see that humankind has gone insane
To the point where I don’t know if I’ll upset the status quo
If I throw poison in the watermain.

Listen close to everybody’s heart
And hear that breaking sound
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
And crashing to the ground

I cannot believe my eyes
How the world’s filled with filth and lies
but it’s plain to see evil inside of me
is on the rise.

Look around
We’re living with the lost and found
Just when you feel you’ve almost drowned
You find yourself on solid ground

And you believe there’s good in everybody’s heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope you can do your part
To turn a life around

I cannot believe my eyes
Is the world finally growing wise
Because it seems to me some kind of harmony
Is on the rise

H: Anyone with half a brain
P: Take it slow

H: Could spend their whole life howling in pain
P: He looks at me and seems to know

H: Because the dark is everywhere and
P: The things that I’m afraid to show

H: Penny doesn’t seem to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain
P: and suddenly I feel this glow

H: Listen close to everybody’s heart
P: And I believe there’s good in everybody’s heart

H: and hear that breaking sound
P: keep it safe and sound

H: Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
P: With hope you can do your part

H: And crashing to the ground
P: To turn a life around

H: I cannot believe my eyes how the world’s filled with filth and lies
P:I cannot believe my eyes how the world’s finally growing wise

H: But it’s plain to see evil inside of me is on the rise
P: And it’s plain to see rapture inside of me is on the rise


Heres the whole thing for those that want to watch it. http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog

 

[Malcom_Kambell]

Fucking Christ!!!!

Why!!!????

It just seems like when you really think things are getting better and you finally let your guard down that the one person capable of doing the most hurt and pain sets you up.

They come in and everyhting seems fine. They say all the right things. You let them in. You tell yourself, "Wow look at this, it is actually working. I don't have to be afraid." And then at the last possible fucking second.......BAM!!!! FUCK YOU!!!! HERE IS YOU FUCKING HEART ON A PLATE!!! MIND IF I SHIT ON IT!!!!

What is the fucking point!!!!????

 

[Malcom_Kambell]

Thank you everyone.


This plac is just amazing. You guys don't really know me. You don't know my name, what I look like, where I live, or what kind of person I might be in real life. But it doens't matter. Many of you have shown so much compassion and empathy for me in my time of need.

Thank you.

 

[neci]

sometimes the greatest pain can lead you to the most amazing pleasure

 

[neci]

oh, and i also love the quote, "it's always darkest before sunrise"
yeah. sometimes shit fucking sucks. i hope you feel better soon.