play

[homunculus]

Just go to the bathroom reasonably ahead of time. If you do, you shouldn't retrieve fecal matter from your rectum--it is stored further up the line. However, if you are scraping out clots of blood with your toy--and there is a chance that you are too squeamish to have looked carefully-- you have a problem.

 

[homunculus]

correction

I hope it's clear that the above post was meant for another discussion--I think it was entitled 'anal questions.'

But if anyone is still reading, I do have a question. My s.o. and I were playing around, and she took out a riding crop, inviting me to swat her one on the bottom. I did, a few times, and found myself getting turned on...Is this common? Does this mean I'm into dominance, or causing pain? I should add that I really don't like images of spanked bottoms, or the like. The exp. was confusing, though my partner was into going wherever it went...

 

[LadyJeanne]

The really great thing is that you were turned on by something that turns your partner on. Don't you love it when that happens?

I wouldn't worry about what it means except for what it means to the both of you. Sounds like you two have some fun exploration ahead of you - enjoy!

 

[Crimson]

don't think that you have to put yourself in a box or category - i like to think that sexual desires (and most things) are far too complicated for that.

i agree with ladyjeanne - if you both enjoyed it, bravo. please don't feel like a freak or that you MUST be a dominant/top/whatever. experiment with other toys and situations - spanking her with your bare hand, restraining her, letting her use the crop on you, etc.

you could open fabulous doors...good luck and enjoy!

crimson

 

[SweetErika]

The really great thing is that you were turned on by something that turns your partner on. Don't you love it when that happens?

I wouldn't worry about what it means except for what it means to the both of you. Sounds like you two have some fun exploration ahead of you - enjoy!

Well said, LadyJ! You might also just be excited by the fact that you're trying something new and (for most people) kinky. Even if you were turned on by dominance or her pain, you're perfectly normal, and there's nothing to worry about as long as both of you are consenting and enjoying yourselves!

 

[homunculus]

Thanks for the reassurance and encouragement, Lady J and Crimson. I guess I'm not sure if my s.o. was turned on by the experience or by my pleasure in it. But, yes, it was exhilerating to have her be so accepting and positive when I was feeling so, well, so many things at once. I do worry about whta lies behind that door...I'd like to have her dress in leather cutaways, but that is so counter-feminist. I don't want to be a sexual jerk. But the excitement is very tempting.

 

[Crimson]

I do worry about whta lies behind that door...I'd like to have her dress in leather cutaways, but that is so counter-feminist. I don't want to be a sexual jerk. But the excitement is very tempting.

I'd ask her - some women find it sexy and empowering to take on such a powerfully sexual role. If she didn't have a problem being hit with the crop, she may be open to going further. Like I said, start small, presenting one scenario or prop to her at a time - and ask her if there's a fantasy or toy she'd like to try. She may surprise you...

 

[homunculus]

We're going shopping for toys and such, speaking of pleasant surprises--a strapon was on her suggestion list, which I am happy to indulge. But I don't quite know what sort of things to suggest for my part, aside from the bottom-less leather pants. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions for where to browse... I've looked through the s&m and such threads and found them not my speed. Maybe if there are websites on the softer side of kink.

 

[corkie2]

I would suggest you might want to start by asking for suggestions in the BDSM Talk section of this forum and go to the BDSM section of the stories and start reading. There are several sites that have stories of this type in them. One of my favorites is Alt.com. I don't especially like Alt for the personals features (personally I think they suck!) but their magazine section is great not only for its stories but their articles and othe info there.

One place that is great for advice is Sexiality.org they have tons of info on BDSM~D/s. Plus tons of links for info on the topic. You might also check out the links section of Alt.com and any other of the sites you go to for information about it.

Alot of what I have learned on the subject I have found out this way. The stories have also been especially helpful for suggestions for playing.........*EG*

Happy hunting and let us know how this goes for you. I am always curious how things work out for the persons who ask questions here.

have fun! Thats what it is all about.......
Corkie

 

[homunculus]

Thanks. I'll check out those sites. We have been shopping for toys and purchased a vibrator, a dildo and harness, and some lube, all of which we put to use as soon as we got home. Mind blowing, beginning with the sight of my s.o. showing off her pleasure for me with the vibe, which is shaped like a cock, complete with veins and a circumcised head. She did as instructed, and has agreed to a little experiment--having me decide her underwear for the next several weekends. Of course, this may lead to more purchases... As for the strapon, it was intense just to try it. I have to admit I was shivery with excitement at times. However, she couldn't get it in--found it too clumsy--so I gave head... Will try it again some other time.