Pimpin' for RCV's

[Extreme Bohunk]

My latest is up in the horror category.
Not recommended before bedtime.

Jane Doe

 

[Darkniciad]

Creepy and disturbing as hell! Excellent read, highly recommended to anyone who's up for some serious skin crawling. I can see my EH story falling down at least one place in the standings very soon *laugh*

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Many apologies, but I found it to be a unique but porly written story. I give it an A for effort, but a C for effectm

 

[kbate]

I enjoyed the story. It was an excellent idea and a chilling plot.

I did not enjoy the lauguage used. I felt it could use an editor and a final proofreader before posting. So many things could be done to make a story of this type have "Impact" on the reader, but I was stuck on somewhate weaker phrasing and word choices.

I tossed a 4 vote at it for you, but I think with some work it could be a strong story.

 

[Extreme Bohunk]

I enjoyed the story. It was an excellent idea and a chilling plot.

I did not enjoy the lauguage used. I felt it could use an editor and a final proofreader before posting. So many things could be done to make a story of this type have "Impact" on the reader, but I was stuck on somewhate weaker phrasing and word choices.

I tossed a 4 vote at it for you, but I think with some work it could be a strong story.

Excellent critique!
Thank you.
Most likely, I'll take your advice about the editor/proofreader for any future submissions, I've finally proven to myself that I really suck at it.
(it got rejected like 4 times for exactly the reasons you listed)

 

[Darla_Darling]

Very disturbing indeed. I thought it worked quite well as a horror story, however I didn't find myself turned on by it. (It was, perhaps, a bit too horrible even for me!) I enjoyed reading it, however, for the terror factor.

I liked the way you gave her a back story, e.g. "She'd wanted to be an actress once, but those dreams gave way to the harsh reality of..." I think that those details lent a humanity to the character, and made the reader feel ever more horror at the thought of her in that unthinkable situation.

 

[Extreme Bohunk]

Very disturbing indeed. I thought it worked quite well as a horror story, however I didn't find myself turned on by it. (It was, perhaps, a bit too horrible even for me!) I enjoyed reading it, however, for the terror factor.

I liked the way you gave her a back story, e.g. "She'd wanted to be an actress once, but those dreams gave way to the harsh reality of..." I think that those details lent a humanity to the character, and made the reader feel ever more horror at the thought of her in that unthinkable situation.

Thanks, and hopefully no one gets turned on by it.
I meant for it to be every bit as ugly as I could make it.

 

[peppermintcrisp]

Your story was great, and it scared the shit out of me! Peppermintcrisp.