Pick One- SSC

[CutieMouse]

If you could only pick *one* thing out of the "Safe Sane Consensual" motto, which one would it be?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to be consensual as then it would be useable to rule out any problems with the other 2...but as we don't play with my having safewords or such it doesn't theoretically apply.

Catalina

 

[RJMasters]

Consensual

 

[CutieMouse]

Have to be consensual as then it would be useable to rule out any problems with the other 2...but as we don't play with my having safewords or such it doesn't theoretically apply.

Catalina

I don't know that I'd say it doesn't apply- you consented to be in the relationship, doing so means you consent to all activities within said relationship, regardless of safe words. I say you just consented on a much... larger scale than most do.

 

[m wisdom]

Consent,

IMHO as long you have informed consent. anything goes.

 

[Chicklet]

well, what if i would only consent to something that was sane?

 

[SpectreT]

What Catalina said. Without that third one, the other two are out the window anyway.

 

[JMohegan]

Sane
adjective
1. free from mental derangement; having a sound, healthy mind.
2. having or showing reason, sound judgment, or good sense.
3. sound; healthy.

The others are redundant, in my opinion.

I voted for sane.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't know that I'd say it doesn't apply- you consented to be in the relationship, doing so means you consent to all activities within said relationship, regardless of safe words. I say you just consented on a much... larger scale than most do.

Yes I did consent (actually I volunteered it, wasn't asked as such), but in so doing what happens thereafter is his decision so I no longer can consent or not consent to an individual act or anything he decides will happen....so in my thinking, it no longer is something I need think about as a consideration.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Another reason I chose consensual is because the other 2 can be very subjective, whereas consent is consent as in saying yes. If it was a matter of saying you consent as long as the act is safe or sane, it is up to interpretation of the other party as to what constitutes safe or sane....and if they are not sane in clinical terms, you really can't rely on them to have a close correlation to yours in terms of interpreting those. Mind you, if they were totally off the planet consent could also become a non-issue. Similarly, what they may think is safe may just be a matter of their lack of real knowledge in terms of what they plan.

Catalina

 

[babiesmiles]

Consensual , the others are a consequence of consent .

Without consent there is no "play" so nothing which should be safe and sane .

Just my opinion anyway

 

[Kajira Callista]

I dunwanna pick one...you can't make me.

 

[Shankara20]

Consensual - no question about it for me....

 

[DomRick]

I picked safe. Being around Type A personalities all the time, consent can sometimes be coerced and given under undue pressure or duress. Sane, as mentioned previously, can be inthe mind of the beholder. I suppose Safe could too, but in regards to physical, mental and emotional safety, if all were considered in not causing harm, the end product would be the experience, not the nightmare. Just my $.02 (unadjusted for inflation) worth.

 

[myinnerslut]

id have to say consensual as well

 

[mcgill82ferret]

Consensual makes sense to me. Fortunatly, I haven't heard the moto is being changed tho....

 

[L_homme]

Safe. Without it, the other two might not follow on.

 

[JMohegan]

Another reason I chose consensual is because the other 2 can be very subjective, whereas consent is consent as in saying yes.

That's one way to look at it, especially in cases of blanket consent, such as yours.

But if I'm standing over a bound woman with a crop in my hand, I'm not continually asking.... May I strike you again? *whap* May I strike you again? *whap* Is one more time ok, too?

So to reword your phrase, one might say: consent is consent, as in she hasn't called "Red" yet.

And when you look at this way, consent itself isn't nearly enough.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I voted sane. With the definition above in mind, my feeling is that safe and consensual would only naturally follow.

 

[John Doe]

I'd agree with Catalina on this one. To me consensual can include the other ideas.

 

[catalina_francisco]

That's one way to look at it, especially in cases of blanket consent, such as yours.

But if I'm standing over a bound woman with a crop in my hand, I'm not continually asking.... May I strike you again? *whap* May I strike you again? *whap* Is one more time ok, too?

So to reword your phrase, one might say: consent is consent, as in she hasn't called "Red" yet.

And when you look at this way, consent itself isn't nearly enough.

IMHO, if you have a safeword it is the same as saying you can withdraw consent at any time which for me is covered in my statement about choosing consent...IOW, a safeword is just a method of giving or not giving consent, if initial consent has been given, it remains consensual up to and until the safeword is used at which time consent is withdrawn.

Catalina

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I voted consensual as, sometimes things can move out of the safe/sane spectrum in the heat of the moment but if you're in it together consenting and communicating at every level, you can afford the push the other two a little. IMHO.

 

[JMohegan]

IMHO, if you have a safeword it is the same as saying you can withdraw consent at any time which for me is covered in my statement about choosing consent...IOW, a safeword is just a method of giving or not giving consent, if initial consent has been given, it remains consensual up to and until the safeword is used at which time consent is withdrawn.

I agree, but my point was to say that consent, all by itself, is not enough to insure safe or sane play.

As the one in control of what's going on, I see it as my responsibility not just to honor the safeword, but also to do my homework ahead of time and, during play, to pay close attention for signs that my partner might be letting me go too far. There are many reasons why she might do this, even if she is a rational and intelligent person outside of play.

That's why I say that consent is not enough. In contrast, per the dictionary definition of sane, that covers it all.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I agree, but my point was to say that consent, all by itself, is not enough to insure safe or sane play.

Yes, but the question this thread presented was which ONE would you pick of the three if you were only allowed one, not if all three were necessary.

Not sure I agree sane covers it all as not everyone refers to the dictionary and then acts accordingly, and even if they do, it still remains subjective as to what is considered sane by each person. For instance, we ourselves have had our sanity questioned by some who post here because he branded and cut me as markings and I was all in favour of it....we happen to think it is a very sane thing to do given our relationship. What one considers sane may vary very much to the opinion of the one on the receiving end. It is subjective, consent for most is not if the word yes or no is employed.

Catalina

 

[JMohegan]

Not sure I agree sane covers it all as not everyone refers to the dictionary and then acts accordingly, and even if they do, it still remains subjective as to what is considered sane by each person.

The opening question was: "If you could only pick *one* thing out of the 'Safe Sane Consensual' motto, which one would it be?"

I am answering for myself, not anyone else here. Sane, per my use of the word, has the meaning that I quoted above.

It would not be sane, per my usage of that word, to proceed without consent. Nor would it be sane to behave in a way that caused material and/or irreversible physical or psychological damage to my partner.

I'm not trying to argue here. The question, as I read it, addressed individual points of view, and I'm just trying to explain mine.