Physical characteristics of male Doms and female subs?

[Freya]

As I browse places in a search for clarity on what I am really looking for, I came up with a few thoughts. Forgive me if this topic has been covered before, but it's something I've been wondering for a little while now. I have been reading quite a bit on this lifestyle, and have checked out a couple of personals forums dealing with alternative lifestyles, and something struck me about some of the men on them. So, I thought I'd come to the experts for answers.

This will be by no means a blanket statement, so please don't take it as such. I have noticed that a good portion of the male Doms are short. Is this somewhat typical of male Doms? Of course, my first thought is to do with a Napolean complex happening. Shorter men with a need to be dominating as a way of compensating for their height.


Another thing I've been doing while deciding if this is a good lifestyle choice for me, is trying to figure out what exactly about this intrigues me so much. One thought that crossed my mind was my size. I'm almost 6 ft tall, and have run the gamut of weight and sizes - I've gone from tall and skinny, to tall and chunky, to tall and average sized. Having been this height since I was about 11 or 12, I also was taller than most of the boys in my class at an early age. Hence, I spent a lot of time holding up the wall while they danced with the smaller, shorter girls, who didn't tower over them. I have always been attracted to tall, strong men - because in many ways, they made me feel more feminine because I wasn't a hulking monster next to them. Also, because of my size, I've never played that helpless female role very well, like some smaller girls are able to - it just doesn't feel very believeable when you're my size. So I'm wondering now, if by being slightly submissive, this is my way of being that helpless female that I was never able to be. If by having a man dominate me, it allows me to give up that illusion of strength and control that it seemed I should have, by being a bigger girl.

Thoughts on this? Does anyone else think that size has anything to do with their personality type?


This is honestly not meant to be offensive or an insult to anyone - my opinions are by no means the right ones - it's just thoughts that have been kicking around in my head.

 

[WriterDom]

You might be on to something there. I'm 5' 6" on a good day, and if you picked 2 subs at random from bondage.com they wouldn't be able to fit inside a VW beetle.

But there are petite subs, and I'm pretty sure there are tall Doms.

 

[zipman]

Well, for starters, I am about 5'10" and weigh around 180 lbs.

However, I used to date very petite women, probably because I did enjoy being physically bigger than they were. I am still bigger than my gf (not that this matters to me anymore), but she is much closer to my height.

As for your reasons, well, only by being introspective and continuing to examine your thoughts and feelings will you find the answer. Your theory is possible, but the real reason might be something else. Of course, there may be no real reason, and your interest could just be an inate preference.

But the journey finding out these answers can be exciting and enlightening.

Maybe someone else has some better thoughts on this.

 

[Lancecastor]

Hi Freya2;

Welcome to the BDSM Forum.

I believe there are submissive women here of all sizes, as IRL. What makes you feel submissive or be interested in submissiveness is entirely and uniquely yours in my view...it's something that might appeal to you for a number of reasons, and your own thoughts about how your greater than average height affect your self image and feelings about yourself in any relationships are the most important and valid ones...for you.

That being said, while I've seen what I call Little Big Man complex in some much shorter than average guys play itself out in business, me and my family are all 6' or better so I cant comment on it personally. In my real life experiences in D/s clubs and events, I haven't met many D men who were less than say 5'9 or so, which is neither towering nor tiny.

Personally, I think the way one was brought up, early pattern-setting about sex and self esteem are more likely to play noticable roles in D/s generalizations than height...but I'm sure the others here will give you a wide range of opinions to consider.

Have fun here;

Lance

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have noticed that a good portion of the male Doms are short. Is this somewhat typical of male Doms?

I have known short, medium sized and tall doms. I belonged to a fairly large BDSM group in the Pacific Northwest, and both the female subs and male Doms ran the gamut.

We had very small female subs up to very large ones. I think it was more a state of mind rather than due to their physical characteristics.

I have always been attracted to tall, strong men - because in many ways, they made me feel more feminine because I wasn't a hulking monster next to them. Also, because of my size, I've never played that helpless female role very well, like some smaller girls are able to - it just doesn't feel very believeable when you're my size.

I am a dominant, and my submissives are all men. They are masculine, and they are strong and tall, most are over 6 feet tall.

They are also very dominant in their worklives, and yet they are very submissive in their interactions with me.

So again, I would have to say, that it is an internal thing. I wonder what others will post on this.

Ebony

 

[lovetoread]

Also, because of my size, I've never played that helpless female role very well, like some smaller girls are able to

lol,I am only 5 ft and cannot pull off the helpless female thing.

To me, every dom I've met is taller.

 

[Freya]

I'm figuring it is an internal thing actually, on my part, and that there are many other factors involved - which might not even include the one I referred to. And it's crossed my mind that some of these men might be a type of which MissT (?) was referring to in her post about "fake" Doms. And I know that any generalization I made, is just that - very general, and most likely wrong - I've been known to be mistaken once or twice before.

And of course, my idea of short is not always accurate either - I guess because I'm so tall, I think of men under a certain height as being short.

 

[Ebonyfire]

And I know that any generalization I made, is just that - very general, and most likely wrong - I've been known to be mistaken once or twice before.

And of course, my idea of short is not always accurate either - I guess because I'm so tall, I think of men under a certain height as being short.

I think we all have been known to be mistaken once or twice.

I am 5'6" and I find that I prefer male subs who are at least 6 ft, and many times even taller. I like the idea of having a tall man submit to me.

So I think that means that I also think of men under a certain height as being short too.

Eb

 

[bunny bondage]

i'm five ft tall 110 pounds and play the helpless schoolgirl role quite well. i've always been attracted to taller bigger men. perhaps because this accentuates my helplessness? i've found several doms, all of them over six feet tall. so tall doms and short subs exist! of course, i'm currently with a shorter dom (my first one, i'm finding out all kinds of neat things involved with someone closer to my height) so maybe there's no corralation at all. jmho! ^_^

 

[WriterDom]

The tallest I had was 5" 11" and a half. Never quite made the 6' foot club. But a 6' on her knees is only 5'.

 

[MissTaken]

For the record!

Freya and EB?
I am the only one allowed to be mistaken...erre MissTaken!

I do it well and frequently.

In terms of height, I can honestly say I haven't seen a real pattern in my internet travels.

We, the freaks, come in all shapes and sizes.

I do, however, believe in Short Man Syndrome and I also don't necessarily believe it is a bad thing.

Short and fiesty woman are seen in a positive light, while short men with attitudes are not,. Hmmm Go figure!

As for me, I am 5'5" . So most men are taller than I am.

Yes, WD, since I like taller men, you qualify!

 

[plzur her]

Tall M Subs >> EB

I think we all have been known to be mistaken once or twice.

I am 5'6" and I find that I prefer male subs who are at least 6 ft, and many times even taller. I like the idea of having a tall man submit to me.

So I think that means that I also think of men under a certain height as being short too.

Eb

I find your preference most appealing. I am submissive at 6'2" (190#) and find shorter dominant women to be incredibly erotic. No interest in taller Domme women. The shorter and more petite the more submissive I become... Hmmmm

 

[lark sparrow]

It might be different for women, but...

my Mistress is 5'11". I'm 5'3" (in my boots ok, maybe 5'2" 1/2). But we are both women.

Height doesn't matter to me, from 4'11" - 5'11", it's all good. I like being petite. Mistress loves being tall. The height difference between us was not a major attracting feature, as we met online and were attracted before height ever came up. She doesn't have a preference for petite women.

But since it's the way it is, I do like the added feature that She could easily overpower me, though it's certainly not necessary... and the added ability to tower over me, not only psychologically but physically as well. And She enjoys how "tiny" I am.

In reverse, being "towered over" by sheer dominance, skill and personality by a smaller person has it's own appeals too.

 

[Freya]

Re: It might be different for women, but...

.

But since it's the way it is, I do like the added feature that She could easily overpower me, though it's certainly not necessary... and the added ability to tower over me, not only psychologically but physically as well. And She enjoys how "tiny" I am.

<snip>

I think that's part of why I like height in a man so much. I've reached the stage in my life where I'm totally comfortable with who I am, and most everything about me. I'm really beginning to like my height (next step is high heels )

 

[A Desert Rose]

This will be by no means a blanket statement, so please don't take it as such. I have noticed that a good portion of the male Doms are short. Is this somewhat typical of male Doms? Of course, my first thought is to do with a Napolean complex happening. Shorter men with a need to be dominating as a way of compensating for their height.

This is honestly not meant to be offensive or an insult to anyone - my opinions are by no means the right ones - it's just thoughts that have been kicking around in my head.

Hi Freya!!!! It is so good to see you posting here.

In my limited experience, my Dom was 6 feet tall, 11 inches taller than I am.

 

[Freya]

Re: Re: Physical characteristics of male Doms and female subs?

Hi Freya!!!! It is so good to see you posting here.

In my limited experience, my Dom was 6 feet tall, 11 inches taller than I am.

Hey Rose!

First thread here, and at best I was totally off the mark, and at worst offended everyone. Off to a great start.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Physical characteristics of male Doms and female subs?

Hey Rose!

First thread here, and at best I was totally off the mark, and at worst offended everyone. Off to a great start.

You have done neither, doll!!! We are a very welcoming bunch here. ;-)

I forgot to add, the man I am currently involved with is 5'11".

It is great to see you here, sincerely.

 

[rosco rathbone]

six 4, 200, controlling tendencies.

 

[Peter2002]

Does size matter

Two thoughts:

1. If you like to give over the knee spankings it helps to be taller than your sub.

2. The most intense and dominent relationship I ever had was with a girl who was just a shade too curvey to be petite, but was slender none the less. She resembled an Animee herione. Although I can't draw any conclusions, but thought leaves me with very warm feelings.

 

[Mr Wolf]

I think it is a more mental/inner direction that people follow, looking back through my life I have always liked to be in control and have been known to dominate the groups I've been in at the time. Having served in the Army I can take orders and operate in a team environment, yet would still chaff against what I considered to be stupid orders.

So IMHO it is the mental/inner self that decides your possible role.

 

[Tobias]

Interesting topic!

I am fascinated by this culture. I often try to imagine myself subscribing to it. I am not terribly experienced nor do I claim to be overly well-read on the subject. However, I do derive intensely deep-rooted erotic feelings from some of the images I have seen.

I am 6' tall, muscular, and weigh 200lbs. I haven't really concluded whether I would prefer to be Sub or Dom. Both excite me. I had never really even thought about my size and how it might relate to this subject. As I think it through though, I think I might lean more toward being submissive. Is that because I'm bigger? Is it because I have always been attracted to taller, stronger women? Interesting.

Excellent thread Freya! Thanks for starting it. I don't think anyone should be offended by it. I don't think you are way off the mark either! Everyone has a valid point of view.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Tall M Subs >> EB

I find your preference most appealing. I am submissive at 6'2" (190#) and find shorter dominant women to be incredibly erotic. No interest in taller Domme women. The shorter and more petite the more submissive I become... Hmmmm

Well I did not say I was petite! LOL

I used to be a weight trainer.

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

This is not quite on topic and I have mentioned it before but the 2 previous Doms in my life were both former military men. (One an AF Major and the other formerly in special forces.) The man I am involved with now was also in the military, the army.

Guess that says something about me.

 

[P. B. Walker]

6'2" here. Very large frame. I kinda stay away from really petite small framed women... only because I'm afraid of hurting them.

PBW "I swear... she shot right THRU the headboard... craziest thing I ever saw"

 

[plzur her]

Re: Re: Tall M Subs >> EB

Well I did not say I was petite! LOL

I used to be a weight trainer.

Eb

Only said I get even more submissive with more petite.. shorter height still makes me more submissive..

Noticed post earlier about job/career. I sometimes think a lot is driven by your r/t role. I am an Executive in a mid size company where I am actually part of four senior partners. I have more control than most of the other partners and find that all day long being in charge, making decisions and in control of decisions ..ends up with me wanting to be submissive in a certain part of my life.. thusly I enjoy being submissive in D/s. I am a switch and likewise with my r/t career can be very dominant when i need to, but it has to be with the right gal.. Again, shorter would be better and I am not afraid of hurting or crushing them.. not into S/m anyhow, but find their bondaged body incredibly erotic if I am in charge or they are!