Phrases to teach the modern parrot

[shereads]

Instead of the ubiquitous, "Pretty bird" and "I love you," more parrots should be taught to say, "I care a lot about you too."

African Greys and other birds that enunciate well might be able to master the longer variation, "It's not as if you aren't important to me."

Other underused parrot phrases:

"Let's not get into this again...Awk!"

"It's not you, it's me."

 

[Guest]

Very good idea, Sher. I've wanted a big old parrot since girlhood. Besides Spanish curses I'd teach it phrases from Oscar Wilde. P.

 

[neonlyte]

Wow, it could really add to the ambience of the evening.

"Brush your teeth before you do that."

"Are you wearing a condom?"

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Mine would say....No love, you don't look fat today....and....yes, you are the most remarkable woman I've ever met.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Teach a female to say: "Will you still respect me?" or "Does this make me look fat?" Or teah a male to say "You're so different. I love you for your mind." or "I promise that I will never change."

 

[Xelebes]

"All your base are belong to me" in a monotonous robotic voice. The deeper the better. Nothing like the classics folks.

 

[R. Richard]

If I was going to get a parrot, I would use a slightly different tack.

Parrot: "Hey babe, let's fuck!"

Me: [Carefully watching the babe for signs of a positive response] "Oh, you must forgive Polly. I am just keeping the bird for a sailor friend and it says the most embarrassing things." [. . . On the other hand, all wisdom comes from the mouths of babes and parrots!"]

 

[impressive]

My kids, when we had this discussion several months ago, wanted to teach a bird "Yeah, baby! Yeah!" (from Austin Powers).

 

[pop_54]

Instead of the ubiquitous, "Pretty bird" and "I love you," more parrots should be taught to say, "I care a lot about you too."

African Greys and other birds that enunciate well might be able to master the longer variation, "It's not as if you aren't important to me."

Other underused parrot phrases:

"Let's not get into this again...Awk!"

"It's not you, it's me."

I'll have you know Polly finds this thread offensive and demeaning to Parrots... You'll be hearing from our lawers young lady.

 

[Edward Teach]

Life is so hectic these days. I feel guilty having to limit my time with you.

I really care about you. You'll never know how much.


Eddie The Student

 

[carsonshepherd]

"We can still be friends."

 

[OhMissScarlett]

"I'm a beautiful free spirit; I touch your life and then I'm gone."

or the ever popular "I have to follow my own agenda."

For the Kerouac reading parrots who won't work, run up your phone bill, and then leave town.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

“Awk! Your cage or mine?”

“Awk! Who's a cracker? You're a cracker Awk! Awk!”

“Did you remember to neuter the cat? Awk!”

“Awk! I love the smell of spermicide in the morning.”

“Where’d I leave my lucky g-string? Awk!”

 

[Edward Teach]

“Awk! I love the smell of spermicide in the morning.”

 

[Edward Teach]

I knew a car salesman who got fired for teaching a minah bird to say "BUY a Ford" and "Pon-TEE-ack."

It was the showroom pet in a Dodge dealership and apparently the boss just didn't have a very highly developed sense of humor.


Ed

 

[TheEarl]

I had a friend once who had to get rid of her minah bird. It'd become very adept at mimicking the noises she made when she brought her boyfriend home.

The Earl

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Bad parrot joke:

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read $50.

"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first ... that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes he says some pretty vulgar stuff."


The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room, and waited for it to say something.
The bird carefully looked around the room, then it looked at her and said, "New house ... new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the parrot looked at both of them, and said, "New house ... new madam ... new hookers."

The girls were at first a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the whole situation.

She then began to think about how to explain this to Keith, her husband. Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work. Before he had time to close the door, the bird took one look at him and said, "Hi Keith."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Polly wants a crackhouse!"

"Screw the cracker! Polly want a donut!"

"Awwwk! Nice package! Awwwk!"

"Small dick, but he'll do for one night. Awwwk!"

 

[Kiss Me]

I used to share with a girl who had a parrot that would only ever talk in the middle of the night as loud as it could. It's favourites were.

Help Me! Kiss Me! and Don't Leave Me!!

I hated that damn bird.

 

[Xelebes]

Have the melodically croon *I want to live forevaaaaaaaaaaah*

Oh baby, yeah...

 

[SensualCealy]

What about, "You, You talking to me? Really, are you talking to me?"

Or "Shall we shag now or later?"

funny I thought,
SC