Philosophies on hate?

[sheath]

My boyfriend and I have been debating our very opposing views on hatred. I was wondering about other opinions...

Do you find it easy to hate? Do you find it impossible?

Do you think that the person that holds the hate is weaker than the person he or she hates? Or vice versa?

How would you feel to know someone hated you?

Just how closely liked are love and hate?

And...

Anything else you would like to add.

S.

 

[Lasher]

Hate is a sign of weakness.

Love and Hate have no relationship, however, the opposite of either is indifference.

 

[Kitte]

I have been giving hate alot of thought lately. So I find this especially interesting. There are so many times we use the word hate when in fact the word we should use, is envy, or fear, or a plethor of other emotions.

Do you find it easy to hate? No, I do not like the feeling of true hate. It hurts.
Do you find it impossible? No, there is one person on this earth I truly hate.

Do you think that the person that holds the hate is weaker than the person he or she hates? If it is true hate, no. If it is one of the lesser feelings that we often give the misnomer of hate. Then yes.

How would you feel to know someone hated you? I am like George Costanza I do not like knowing someone doesnt like me. But I usally just try to let it go. I can not control how someone feels about me, only how I react to it. I will sometimes try to go to them to smooth out the feelings but if it is genuine hate, then there is not much chance of that.

Just how closely liked are love and hate? The intesity of both emotions is their common denominator. You have to have cared about someone to truly hate them. You may hate what someone does, you may hate how they act but to TRULY hate another person you must have at one time held some great deal of emotion for them. So I think they are linked by that factor.

I really think we must define hate...I know I have used the word erroneously...especially recently.

 

[Bushido71XS]

It takes up too much energy, and totally fucks up your karma.

Intense dislike however, is another story

 

[Guest]

 

[erosman]

Until recently, I had not experienced someone hating me. I can't say that I like it, but it has been a real learning experience. I think hate is a path that some people take. The footsteps are individual, but it is a downward spiraling path nonetheless.

 

[sheath]

nope, cant form any helpful opinions on it

conclusion - useles thread

If it were truly useless, you wouldn't have wasted your time.


To everyone else:

Thank you for replying! Anyone else?

I started this thread because:

My man feels an intense hatred for someone. I see how it is changing him...it's not hurting the person he hates as much as it is hurting HIM to feel that emotion. I personally don't believe I have ever felt a dislike so strong that it could be called hate, so I find it difficult to relate to him on that level.

So...this is a very interesting question to me.

More?

S.

 

[Shaq]

It is easier to hate because it doesn't require much thought.

Love is definetly harder because it involves dissapointment but it is MUCH better.

Hate isn't healthy.

 

[bluespoke]

Hatred is a futile emotion.

You obtain no benefit and you occasionally can do yourself mental harm.

 

[Shaq]

Hatred is a futile emotion.

You obtain no benefit and you occasionally can do yourself mental harm.

I think all hate causes mental harm.

 

[bluespoke]

I think all hate causes mental harm.

Sorry, I was imprecise. I meant permanent harm.

 

[Monazwx]

Sheath, hatred is more self-destructive than anything else. Your man needs to get to the bottom of it because it does change a person not for the better. Until he understands why and how to stop, he won't ever be the same.

Most of the "hate" that I've seen or experienced was due to jealousy. Either I was jealous or vice versa, but anything can be the cause.

What is "pure hatred" anyhow?

 

[Minkey Boodle]

I hate ketchup to the point that the smell of it makes me gag and if any gets on me, I'm freakin' out.

 

[concrete]

My boyfriend and I have been debating our very opposing views on hatred. I was wondering about other opinions...

Do you find it easy to hate? Do you find it impossible?

.. no not at all, to hate someone..
a normal reaction to the emotional situation of the moment...
how can you truely say or express the total physiology of the human being..
how can you have the attraction of TRUE love if you haven't expressed the other full value of your emotions for hatred,something would be amiss and out of balance...
not to say this cannot be resolved..
resolve it.
forget it.
live with it...
regardless of the HATRED ...you have to life with it.

 

[Guest]

Hate is a part of human emotion. It has been and it will be: unfortunately.

Unless we, collectively, evolve, that is.

 

[Valley Lilly]

I don't hate anyone....i believe in the karma if somebody makes something evil to you. You do it, you pay for it.

 

[sheath]

I read this somewhere...

"You can only hate someone if you actually want to be like that person."

Anybody think that is true?

And...

I think the idea that jealousy has something to do with hate is right on target. Jealousy is often wanting what someone else has...and if they have something that makes you feel they are better than you, then does hatred come into play?

S.

 

[concrete]

This becomes ,not an issue of HATRED..
but perhaps the issue of POWER or CONTROL plays it's ugly head.
.. not that ALL head is ugly ...some are ,some not,,

 

[Ishmael]

Love and Hate?

The two single largest and most extensive definitions in the dictionary. And there is all of the permutations that the mind can concieve in between.

My experience has been that for the most part love is internal and hate is external. "I love" as opposed to "You hate."

Add to that the fact that there is so much self delusion among and betweent the two.

Far too often lust is confused with love. One is a chemical process, the other a considered process. One last for a short period, the other forever. In the short term it's very difficult to tell the difference.

Hate is just as self delusional. To consider that someone 'hates' you is a strong accusation to make. In many cases it is nothing more than your own behavior. A reaction to guilt. I've found that is human nature to forgive far more than to hate. But we can all disgust others with our behavior.

Ishmael

 

[Pamela]

I have hated a person's actions, behavior, and the words they've spoken. But I can't say I have ever hated someone. To me it is impossible.

Is it linked to love? I don't think so. I've hated a lot of things my ex has done, who I truly loved. I don't hate him. I hate what he did, and hope he suffers the consequences. As Ish said "it is human nature to forgive far more than to hate". I will forgive, but not forget. Not to hold a grudge, but to learn and grow from what I experienced.

 

[erosman]

Re: I read this somewhere...

"You can only hate someone if you actually want to be like that person."

Anybody think that is true?

And...

I think the idea that jealousy has something to do with hate is right on target. Jealousy is often wanting what someone else has...and if they have something that makes you feel they are better than you, then does hatred come into play?

S.

This is an interesting line of thought. I don't think that it could be unilaterally applied to all hate, but it does provoke some thought. Perhaps what is desired is the perception that the hatee has an elusive power rather than wanting to be like them. Perhaps jealousy IS the root.

I think if you and your boyfriend are able to discuss this love/hatred issue at this depth, then he surely must be open to his own issues that are involved in his hatred. I don't find forgiveness to be as natural a human reaction as others here. I think its roots are quite supernatural, in fact, and surely point to a Creative design. To give up the right for revenge or payment - to cancel all debt and act restoratively - that is quite the antivenin for hate, and I've only seen it occur as a volitional choice. The key is to keep the discussion and the heart open.

 

[MissTaken]

I have hated a person's actions, behavior, and the words they've spoken. But I can't say I have ever hated someone. To me it is impossible.

.

Ditto!

But then I was thinking that what I may call frustration, anger, disdain or even apathy towards someone, may be what they percieve as hate when they have the same feelings.

I don't know, I just don't get the concept of hate. It seems as though true hate would be a raw, uncontrollable emotion, much like true love is.

Then, perhaps I haven't experienced either emotion?

*shrugs*

 

[sigh]

My experience has been that for the most part love is internal and hate is external. "I love" as opposed to "You hate."

Ishmael

I would suggest then, Ish, that perhaps you've never truly hated anyone. If that's the case, then you're blessed. Take my word for it, though. Hate can be just an internalized as love. I've carried that shadow inside me for many long years. I doubt it will ever be lifted.

I distinguish between hate and love more in terms of how they're expressed because I can't really grasp true definitions of either emotion. I sense them in terms like these:

Hate is intense. Love is diffuse.
Hate is directed. Love is encompassing.
Hate is painful. Love is healing.
Hate drains you. Love fills you.
Hate is cold. Love is warm.
Hate takes effort. Love is easy.

 

[erosman]

I like your terms, sigh.

Hate is intense. Love is diffuse.
Hate is directed. Love is encompassing.
Hate is painful. Love is healing.
Hate drains you. Love fills you.
Hate is cold. Love is warm.
Hate takes effort. Love is easy.

 

[Guest]

My boyfriend and I have been debating our very opposing views on hatred. I was wondering about other opinions...

Do you find it easy to hate? Do you find it impossible?
(If we're talking about people here...) I personally find for me "to hate" an individual is an impossibility. It would take an extraordinary amount of my energy (and time)--wasted and misdirected--that could, instead, be put to far more practical use. Don't get me wrong, I certainly can dislike someone as well as like the next guy/gal, but to hate (just listen to that word) someone is unbelievably difficult.

Do you think that the person that holds the hate is weaker than the person he or she hates? Or vice versa?
There are too many reasons and motivations as to why people behave they do. But does that make them a 'lesser' person because of their attitude? Why, yeah! They're fucking assholes! LOL!!!

Your 'vice versa' is just a little confusing, but deserves a common explanation: 1) if the 'hater' somehow feels 'stronger/superior' than the 'hated'; then, yes, I can see how this can be a motivating factor here; or, 2) do you mean maybe the 'hater' feels 'weaker' and is justified in his/her anger?--again, yes, I also see this as a possibility. And it also takes all kinds of people to hate for no apparent reason--something for our psychology, psychiatry, and philosophy friends to help us all find answers to.

How would you feel to know someone hated you?
Believe me, I've had my share and tried to learn what or why a person may be so motivated--and am often NOT surprised at the underlying reasons that typically point to a personal bias, bigotry, and/or ignorance. But people are what they are, and no force on earth in my control can change another person's makeup--I may make a stab at helping modify their behavior, particularly if it is mutually beneficial, but in most cases, I find myself moving on. The bottom line, I couldn't give a flying fuck if someone hated me or not.

Just how closely linked are love and hate?
They are the most diametrically opposing emotions in the extreme--but beyond that, I see no underlying 'linkage'.

And...

Anything else you would like to add.

S.