Pet peeves

[Ekserb]

I'm somewhat beside myself as well at the thought of inspiring mild annoyance in others.

Inspiring annoyance in me is hardly something to be proud of. Hell, I annoy myself from time to time.

 

[Lorali82]

Inspiring annoyance in me is hardly something to be proud of. Hell, I annoy myself from time to time.

I don't think it's any secret that you have an incredibly low annoyance threshold.

 

[Lorali82]

This forum requires that you wait 30 seconds before submitting another search. You have 1 seconds to wait before another search will be allowed.

I hate that.

 

[Ekserb]

I don't think it's any secret that you have an incredibly low annoyance threshold.

True, but after a week of vacation it's up to my ankles.

Until 8:05 tomorrow morning.

 

[trysail]

Ctwat !!!

There's an abbreviation that pops up onto all of our ad dockets.... and it says CTWAT.
CTWAT, people!

O.K., I admit it. I'm a sucker for acronyms and I'm dyin' to know what CTWAT stands for. I may just have to git me one- if for no other reason than to have the ability to exclaim, "CTWAT!"

'course, in these days of hyper-political correctness, one can't be too careful. As we have seen, mere use of the word niggardly can get you fired.

 

[Ekserb]

The family unit

I'm a little tired of these silly stickers that depict the family members in various states of enthusiasm. Is it so important for these people to let me know how many kids they have and what each one of them does in their after-school time?

Today I saw a minivan with the father and mother portrayed as tennis playing heroes with their two kids (a baby and what appeared to be a toddler) in tow. Isn't it more likely that these two breeders are instead sitting around the house keeping an eye on the ankle-biters as they slowly expand their waistlines by eating Oreos and drinking Diet Pepsi?

I mean, if you're going to share your current pedigree with the rest of the world, why not be honest about it? They should make some of those stickers for real people - maybe have an overweight wife-beater with a can of Pabst in one hand and three days of beard growth, while also offering the Real Life™ Wife with a screaming baby on one arm and the other kid's failing school report card in the other hand.

Instead of the happy puppy with a wagging tail, there should be an malnourished pit bull with a heavy chain that hasn't been loosed for a few years digging into the flesh around its neck. Or a terrorized cat with a look in its eyes like it knows only the fear of having its tail taped to Baby's rattle for hours at a time.

I could describe a dozen other ethnic stereotypes that would also make good decals, but that would be mean.

 

[Macdaddy23]

Bumper stickers on an expensive car.

 

[Lorali82]

I'm a little tired of these silly stickers that depict the family members in various states of enthusiasm. Is it so important for these people to let me know how many kids they have and what each one of them does in their after-school time?

Today I saw a minivan with the father and mother portrayed as tennis playing heroes with their two kids (a baby and what appeared to be a toddler) in tow. Isn't it more likely that these two breeders are instead sitting around the house keeping an eye on the ankle-biters as they slowly expand their waistlines by eating Oreos and drinking Diet Pepsi?

I mean, if you're going to share your current pedigree with the rest of the world, why not be honest about it? They should make some of those stickers for real people - maybe have an overweight wife-beater with a can of Pabst in one hand and three days of beard growth, while also offering the Real Life™ Wife with a screaming baby on one arm and the other kid's failing school report card in the other hand.

Instead of the happy puppy with a wagging tail, there should be an malnourished pit bull with a heavy chain that hasn't been loosed for a few years digging into the flesh around its neck. Or a terrorized cat with a look in its eyes like it knows only the fear of having its tail taped to Baby's rattle for hours at a time.

I could describe a dozen other ethnic stereotypes that would also make good decals, but that would be mean.

This reminds me of something I saw on the back windshield of a mini van last week. Decals from left to right: cross, adult male, adult female, male child, male child, female child, female child, female child.

I thought maybe they should get a goldfish or something so that poor girl in last place wouldn't develop an inferiority complex.

 

[monique1971]

This reminds me of something I saw on the back windshield of a mini van last week. Decals from left to right: cross, adult male, adult female, male child, male child, female child, female child, female child.

I thought maybe they should get a goldfish or something so that poor girl in last place wouldn't develop an inferiority complex.

Maybe it's from one of those cultures in which a language read from right to left is the norm. Maybe it's actually a family who speaks Arabic and it's the cross that's in last place. Lorali, I think those people were terrorists. Why didn't you call the FBI?

 

[Ekserb]

I think they were terrorists, too.

Go out and buy a small camcorder that will record up to eight hours of video. Carry it around with you in your car. The next time you see that minivan with the decals, call your boyfriend to meet you nearby. When he arrives, make a video of you sucking his cock until the tape runs out, then digitize it and post it here.

If you don't do this, the terrorists have already won.

EDIT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see it now. Fixed.

 

[Lorali82]

I'm kicking myself for not writing down the license plate.

 

[trysail]

Another one !!!


These idiot effin' catalogue companies drive me bonkers. I saw an article of clothing in one, called the "800" number, went through the whole drill of reading off the "key code" number, verified my name and address, then (finally) got to attempt to place an order only to be told that, "Due to its popularity, we're all sold out of that item in our warehouse and retail stores."

O.K., I can live with that. It happens- it confirms my good taste. Then, I go on to ask if I can place a "back-order."

That's when the idiocy starts. Obviously, the merchant or his stock replenishment software knows there was good demand for the article- it doesn't take rocket science to figure that out. As you all know, these poor call center people are given scripts to read. The last thing management wants 'em to do is get off script and if the script doesn't have an answer to any question, all you get is mindless repetition of the scripted answers. I can't get mad at the call center person- it ain't their fault managements insist that they behave like automatons. I do, however, want to jump through the telephone line and wring the neck of the smarmy MBA/consultant types who design and implement these really, really stupid stock replenishment software systems and "one size fits all" call centers.

You goddamn morons! If it was so popular, why don't you re-order it so I can buy it?

I'm sure you've already figured out the responses I got. "No, you can't place an order. No, you can't back-order."

You will be gratified to know that I didn't take it out on the call center person. Then again, she couldn't see me rolling my eyes, making hand gestures, and mouthing obscenities as I hung up the telephone and threw the catalogue in the trash. Fuck 'em! It's a lost sale and the dimwits running the joint won't be getting any more orders from me.

 

[bluebell]

Aerodynamic properties of shorn genitalia

I'm a little tired of these silly stickers that depict the family members in various states of enthusiasm. Is it so important for these people to let me know how many kids they have and what each one of them does in their after-school time?

All this sticker stuff- I don't get. What the hell are these things?
Do they just not exist in the northeastern United States?

Okay, follow me here, if you will.
Reading all that stuff was like my equivalent of what Ekserb feels upon scanning through a Trysail rant.

Oh well. Apparently I'm not missing anything. Stupid fucking stickers.

I think they were terrorists, too.

Go out and buy a small camcorder that will record up to eight hours of video. Carry it around with you in your car. The next time you see that minivan with the decals, call your boyfriend to meet you nearby. When he arrives, make a video of you sucking his cock until the tape runs out, then digitize it and post it here.

If you don't do this, the terrorists have already won.

Reason #239 why I dig Ekserb...
His patriotism, of course.

 

[Lorali82]

Reason #239 why I dig Ekserb...
His patriotism, of course.

Bluebell, you disappoint me. I can't believe you fixed his typo and didn't highlight his mistake in red.

 

[bluebell]

Insane editing malfunction.

Bluebell, you disappoint me. I can't believe you fixed his typo and didn't highlight his mistake in red.

I'm sorry Lor. I had a lapse.
Mea culpa.
I'm only on the third of the twelve steps in Over-Editors Anonymous.

Note to self: Overcome editorial fix-it traps. Stick it to Ekserb.

 

[Ekserb]

Bluebell, you disappoint me. I can't believe you fixed his typo and didn't highlight his mistake in red.

I'm sorry Lor. I had a lapse.
Mea culpa.
I'm only on the third of the twelve steps in Over-Editors Anonymous.

Note to self: Overcome editorial fix-it traps. Stick it to Ekserb.

I fixed it. And I made sure to not cover my tracks, even though I could have - by fixing it in the quoted material, you made it easy for me to correct my post and get away with it. Fortunately, I play fair.

(Neither one of you would make a pimple on my ass when it comes to calling out a cripple for having wobbly legs.)

 

[homina]

my pet peeves

1. people that stay in the left lane of a divided highway (in US) when they are not passing anyone (or are going slower than the right lane) Here's a clue: if people are passing you on the right.....MOVE THE F$%& OVER!!!!!!

2. overly large font sizes or any other text that is obnoxious to read...if you have to dress up what you are writing, then it might not be that good

3. government entities telling business owners that they can't have smoking in their establishment (and I am a non-smoker and always have been)

4. seat belt and helmet laws

there's more, but I'm out

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Bluebell, you disappoint me. I can't believe you fixed his typo and didn't highlight his mistake in red.

I can't believe you're hung up on a typo when the fate of the free world is at stake.

 

[Ekserb]

I can't believe you're hung up on a typo when the fate of the free world is at stake.

I've told you my solution. If she doesn't want to save us from total annihilation, it's not my fault.

 

[Lorali82]

I can't believe you're hung up on a typo when the fate of the free world is at stake.

I've told you my solution. If she doesn't want to save us from total annihilation, it's not my fault.

I suppose if nothing else, an 8-hour blow job video would probably contain more progressive plot points than eight episodes of 24. And probably more explosions.

 

[Ekserb]

I suppose if nothing else, an 8-hour blow job video would probably contain more progressive plot points than eight episodes of 24. And probably more explosions.

Hallelujah, sister.

 

[bluebell]

I'm hoping you were kidding.

I can't believe you're hung up on a typo when the fate of the free world is at stake.

Dude, have you been reading this thread at all?
We're grammar nerds. People who don't abide piss us off. We tie them up, shrink them down to little children with a top secret government machine and then Fed-Ex them to Michael Jackson's house.
Gawd.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I've told you my solution. If she doesn't want to save us from total annihilation, it's not my fault.

I, for one, am solidly behind your plan. Every digitized image of Lorali sucking her boyfriend's cock is another nail in the coffin of International Terror.

I suppose if nothing else, an 8-hour blow job video would probably contain more progressive plot points than eight episodes of 24. And probably more explosions.

And wetter than 8 hours of Baywatch.

Dude, have you been reading this thread at all?
We're grammar nerds. People who don't abide piss us off. We tie them up, shrink them down to little children with a top secret government machine and then Fed-Ex them to Michael Jackson's house.
Gawd.

Its' you're write 2 git upsett abuot grammer and junk.

 

[Lorali82]

I, for one, am solidly behind your plan. Every digitized image of Lorali sucking her boyfriend's cock is another nail in the coffin of International Terror.

Then you should probably do your civic duty and up your post count a whole lot.

 

[Ekserb]

Its' you're write 2 git upsett abuot grammer and junk.

Don't think you can steal our girl AND come in here and post drivel like this. There's only so much we will tolerate.