Hey, Kids. I am...Rodrigo. The one and only, the man of the hour, the man with the power, too sweet to be sour. Some of you know me, some of you don't. For those in the "don't" category, here's a refresher course:
I'm Rodrigo, an Aries, I'm 5' 11 and a half inches tall and I weigh two hundred pounds, and my cock is ten inches of dangling fury...seriously...my cock is furious.
My turn-ons are long walks on the beach, spelling (Yeah, that's right, SPELLING. S-P-E-L-L-I-N FUCKING G. You have a problem with that? Huh, fucko? No? Didn't think so), dirty teenage girls and auto-fellatio movies...wait, cancel that long walks on the beach part. Long walks on the beach are a little fruity.
My turn-offs are rainy days, mean people, and imaginary dogs. Imaginary dogs you ask? Yeah. Apparently we're all in third grade. Someone started a rumor about me getting fucked by a pretend dog and everybody bought into it, and the next thing I know I'm getting treated like the fat kid from Lord Of The Flies... I'm nobody's fat kid.
Oh, the wit! Rodrigo and a dog! How inspired! What fun! My sides hurt from the laughter...really...laughing...heh. The next thing you know people are accusing me of eating paste and they started toilet papering my house and there was a whole thing. I was going to start blasting people, but instead I took the high road and packed up my trademark brand of wackiness and moved "farther south, were the drinks are cold and I don't know the names of the players..." That was a Sonny Crocket quote. Sonny Crocket is my fucking hero. So, to all the jokesters out there, go fuck yourselves, to paraphrase the great statesman Ice-T, from here on in, dis me on a record, see me, FIIIIIIIGHT! I feel much better now.
Anyway, back to my bio. Xxplorher and I are palsy walsy, Deborah is desperately in love with me...where the hell is that crazy bitch? I make an appearence and she's no where to be found. She must fear her lust for me might overcome her.
Endlessly is forever offering to fellate me...she's like that...damn jailbait...Laurel and I are mortal enemies...don't ask, and, to everybody else, I'm the man you love to hate.
I hear you all asking, "But Rodrigo, we have porn to jerk off too, why should we care about you?" Good question.
I have no idea.
I don't think I should return, it's not the same around here without my Ace Boom Coon, Double X. It's like Batman without Robin, Siegfried without Roy...wait...It's not at all like Siegfried without Roy. There's no white tigers and no man on man magical action. It's like Batman without Robin. That's it. Get your heads out of the gutter.
I basically just came back to give a nod to that dirty teenage hussy Endlessly, and I'm drunk off my ass right now...So, to all you kids out there in Parts Unknown, your hero has returned, for one night only.
Rodrigo has left the building.
I'm Rodrigo, an Aries, I'm 5' 11 and a half inches tall and I weigh two hundred pounds, and my cock is ten inches of dangling fury...seriously...my cock is furious.
My turn-ons are long walks on the beach, spelling (Yeah, that's right, SPELLING. S-P-E-L-L-I-N FUCKING G. You have a problem with that? Huh, fucko? No? Didn't think so), dirty teenage girls and auto-fellatio movies...wait, cancel that long walks on the beach part. Long walks on the beach are a little fruity.
My turn-offs are rainy days, mean people, and imaginary dogs. Imaginary dogs you ask? Yeah. Apparently we're all in third grade. Someone started a rumor about me getting fucked by a pretend dog and everybody bought into it, and the next thing I know I'm getting treated like the fat kid from Lord Of The Flies... I'm nobody's fat kid.
Oh, the wit! Rodrigo and a dog! How inspired! What fun! My sides hurt from the laughter...really...laughing...heh. The next thing you know people are accusing me of eating paste and they started toilet papering my house and there was a whole thing. I was going to start blasting people, but instead I took the high road and packed up my trademark brand of wackiness and moved "farther south, were the drinks are cold and I don't know the names of the players..." That was a Sonny Crocket quote. Sonny Crocket is my fucking hero. So, to all the jokesters out there, go fuck yourselves, to paraphrase the great statesman Ice-T, from here on in, dis me on a record, see me, FIIIIIIIGHT! I feel much better now.
Anyway, back to my bio. Xxplorher and I are palsy walsy, Deborah is desperately in love with me...where the hell is that crazy bitch? I make an appearence and she's no where to be found. She must fear her lust for me might overcome her.
Endlessly is forever offering to fellate me...she's like that...damn jailbait...Laurel and I are mortal enemies...don't ask, and, to everybody else, I'm the man you love to hate.
I hear you all asking, "But Rodrigo, we have porn to jerk off too, why should we care about you?" Good question.
I have no idea.
I don't think I should return, it's not the same around here without my Ace Boom Coon, Double X. It's like Batman without Robin, Siegfried without Roy...wait...It's not at all like Siegfried without Roy. There's no white tigers and no man on man magical action. It's like Batman without Robin. That's it. Get your heads out of the gutter.
I basically just came back to give a nod to that dirty teenage hussy Endlessly, and I'm drunk off my ass right now...So, to all you kids out there in Parts Unknown, your hero has returned, for one night only.
Rodrigo has left the building.
