Perfectionism

[Omenainen]

Anybody else feeling this challenge at the moment? How are you dealing with it? Writing less, giving yourself permission to lower your standards a bit, something else?

I’m definitely feeling the challenge of the times. My problem is I’ve already lowered my expectations on just about anything to so low I’ve got trouble going lower. For example there’s sometimes advice in the lines of “the laundry will be there tomorrow”, well yes, but what if it was there already yesterday, and last week, and...

When it comes to writing I don’t go after perfection, I would polish them forever if I did. I go after some sort of feeling of completion and then I just publish and move on. I hope you find what works for you, because if you get some comfort from writing (like I do) it would be a shame to not get that just because what you’re producing is not perfect in your mind.

 

[WoodmanStark]

I'm a bit of a perfectionist in most things, writing included. I like to take my time on stories and make sure they're the very best they can be.

#IWishIDidntRelateToThis
I've been obsessively rereading my work and occasionally making improvements where I think something could be better.
When I was working on the first installment of "A Visit From the Sex Goddess" I was vacillating between wanting to make it perfect and wanting to just get it submitted.
I even do this on the stories I've already submitted. In fact I updated and resubmitted my story "Jennifer" 2 days after the first sub, so it will be a bit longer to post than I'd hoped.
I have an updated "Sex Goddess Ch. 1-4" to pull the trigger on as well and I might do it soon.
The fact that it took 4 days for my first sub to post, and that my second is still pending after 4 days, helps deter me from doing this too much. I have to ask myself "do I really want this to spend days in limbo?"

 

[Voboy]

#IWishIDidntRelateToThis
I've been obsessively rereading my work and occasionally making improvements where I think something could be better.
When I was working on the first installment of "A Visit From the Sex Goddess" I was vacillating between wanting to make it perfect and wanting to just get it submitted.
I even do this on the stories I've already submitted. In fact I updated and resubmitted my story "Jennifer" 2 days after the first sub, so it will be a bit longer to post than I'd hoped.
I have an updated "Sex Goddess Ch. 1-4" to pull the trigger on as well and I might do it soon.
The fact that it took 4 days for my first sub to post, and that my second is still pending after 4 days, helps deter me from doing this too much. I have to ask myself "do I really want this to spend days in limbo?"

Wow. I can't even imagine.

Just last night I found a flaw in my latest submission; I shrugged, moved on, and checked my email. It jumped out at me because I wrote the damn thing; I'd be shocked if more than one reader in a hundred ever notices. And if they do, and call me out? It's on me. No biggie.

Once I hit submit, it's out of my mind and on to the next one. You can't dwell. Otherwise, you turn into George Lucas and you can't stop tinkering. Then, suddenly, Han didn't shoot first and it's a whole big thing.

 

[WoodmanStark]

I do the same thing with my music. Even when all the parts are laid down I'm never satisfied with the mix, and I'm still not sure how to go about the arcane art of "mastering". I've almost trained myself to let go and move on... almost.

As a wise man once said, "A work of art is never finished, only abandoned."

 

[WoodmanStark]

IMy erotica is typically of a very gentle nature. And that doesn’t always fly here at Lit.

I'm certainly interested.
How do I find a person's stories from the forums if they dont put a link up? Im still finding my way around here and it seems like the forums are a different site entirely from the authors and stories.

 

[joeyjax]

I'm certainly interested.
How do I find a person's stories from the forums if they dont put a link up? Im still finding my way around here and it seems like the forums are a different site entirely from the authors and stories.

You can always go here https://search.literotica.com/?type=member then type in the username.

That said, many authors use multiple usernames (e.g. when posting stories by category, and such). So just because you see the username here in the forum doesn't necessarily mean that's the same username they've posted all or even some of their stories under. But it's what I would do if they don't provide a direct link in their signature.

Speaking of which, I suppose I should do that, too.

 

[WoodmanStark]

You can always go here https://search.literotica.com/?type=member then type in the username.

That said, many authors use multiple usernames (e.g. when posting stories by category, and such). So just because you see the username here in the forum doesn't necessarily mean that's the same username they've posted all or even some of their stories under. But it's what I would do if they don't provide a direct link in their signature.

Speaking of which, I suppose I should do that, too.

I went back to my own LitCom home, clicked "Authors" and searched from there. Success.

 

[SamScribble]

I'm certainly interested.
How do I find a person's stories from the forums if they dont put a link up? Im still finding my way around here and it seems like the forums are a different site entirely from the authors and stories.

Here you are

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1143365&page=submissions

 

[yukonnights]

Well, even though this lethargy is not a very positive turn — I'm glad Bramblethorn brought it up. I'm in the same boat as so many who have chimed in. Now I at least know I'm not alone. So thanks to Bramblethorn and all who chimed in.

I have a couple of decent ideas going, but when I open them up the energy and motivation just aren't there. This has been going on for quite awhile. But so many thing have changed in life due to the pandemic — basically I'm living a very different life than pre-covid days. Perhaps it's that loss of normalcy that has sapped my energy?

 

[BelleCanzuto]

And then not even a week after the deadline passed, my wife and her mother got Covid, which put a real damper on my wanting to finish the story at all. They've both recovered, though for a few days for each of them, we literally weren't sure they'd survive it (the lung/breathing issues got really bad for both of them). And just yesterday, one of her uncles passed away from Covid.

Now, I'm back to working through the story, but it's been difficult. When I started it, Covid wasn't so personal, not from a life/death perspective, anyway. But now it is. I still want to finish the story, but it's become a lot more (personally) emotional to me now than when I started.

Thank you both, and yes, it was terrifying--that's a really good word for it.

We had some conversations that we never imagined needing to have at our age (when this or that bill was due and when to pay each thing, sharing certain passwords, would you want to be intubated? Would you ever want a DNR?). Then there were the nights when thoughts I never thought I'd wonder about would start to nag at me.

I'm glad both your wife and mother-in-law are recovering. I'm sure it was terrifying, and anything like that will bring up emotions and questions that you never usually think about. Grief, even anticipatory grief, trying to prepare yourself for a possible loss, is a strange and sneaky creature. EoN already said a lot of good advice about paying attention to your own healing process as well.

Practically, I'll just add, while you are both healing up, this is an opportune time to have those difficult conversations about end of life stuff, make medical power of attorneys or health care proxies, wills and let people know where to find those things. A lady on my caseload has dementia, and her husband died (not altogether unexpectedly, his failing health was one of the reasons she wound up in my hospital). He didn't have a will. She doesn't have a POA. So there's no one in the family (a bunch of nieces have been trying to help out) to take care of things.

They're hard and depressing conversations to have. But if you do, it'll likely save some torment later...

Take care of yourselves, and here's to a continued and full recovery.

 

[joeyjax]

I'm glad both your wife and mother-in-law are recovering. I'm sure it was terrifying, and anything like that will bring up emotions and questions that you never usually think about. Grief, even anticipatory grief, trying to prepare yourself for a possible loss, is a strange and sneaky creature. EoN already said a lot of good advice about paying attention to your own healing process as well.

Practically, I'll just add, while you are both healing up, this is an opportune time to have those difficult conversations about end of life stuff, make medical power of attorneys or health care proxies, wills and let people know where to find those things. A lady on my caseload has dementia, and her husband died (not altogether unexpectedly, his failing health was one of the reasons she wound up in my hospital). He didn't have a will. She doesn't have a POA. So there's no one in the family (a bunch of nieces have been trying to help out) to take care of things.

They're hard and depressing conversations to have. But if you do, it'll likely save some torment later...

Take care of yourselves, and here's to a continued and full recovery.

Thanks Belle and EoN. Everything you've both said is very much appreciated.