'Peculiar Personals'

[Cathleen]

A new idea, after looking at some of the titles of 'personal ads' I thought it would be fun to have a 'Lit' twist to this - there are so many cvreative minds here so we can really get off the wall and creative!

So, the only 'rule' is that you must use the last word in the previous post to begin your post.


A single female, looking for an Eskimo from Texas, must be tall but not over 6 feet. No western accent but must look good in a cowboy hat and be a world class rodeo man - no clowns.


so the next 'personal' must start with clowns'
Have fun!

 

[wanderer2704]

Clowns touring the world looking for females who fancy a little slapstick. May involve riding in strange vehicles and being covered in custard

 

[omahaman2]

Clowns touring the world looking for females who fancy a little slapstick. May involve riding in strange vehicles and being covered in custard

Custard manufacturer looking for romance.looking for lady who
could end up being his little pudding.Send photo because as
they say the proof is in the pudding!

 

[babydoll2u]

Pudding lover looking for a "softie" for romance but not too much romance. Must be sensual but not too sexual.
Must be firm in all the right places, but not too firm, if you know what I mean

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Mean and nasty old man looking for young girls to use and abuse.
Must live locally and enjoy spankings.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
Mean and nasty old man looking for young girls to use and abuse.
Must live locally and enjoy spankings.

Spankings Welcome..must have big hands or a large ass

 

[Cathleen]

Spankings Welcome..must have big hands or a large ass

Ass you can have but must not be. Looking for the perfect male, even if I have to make him out of playdough.

 

[omahaman2]

Ass you can have but must not be. Looking for the perfect male, even if I have to make him out of playdough.

Playdough is not the magazine I was in,Playgirl was the one.
Looking for a lady who knows how to treat a centerfold right,
without having to worry about the staples!!

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Playdough lovers unite!

Meeting tonight at 9:00.
Classes given in molding realistic body parts.

 

[babydoll2u]

Parts manager looking for ex-mechanics with loose fittings

 

[babydoll2u]

Playdough is not the magazine I was in,Playgirl was the one.
Looking for a lady who knows how to treat a centerfold right,
without having to worry about the staples!!

Staples is now hiring sales people...
come prepared to get attached!

 

[wanderer2704]

edited out due to idiocy

 

[Cathleen]

edited out due to idiocy

no no no.....

Idiocy is a major turn on of mine...... the dumber the better for me, I hope there is such a man out there that at least can read this ad, I'm getting desperate.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Idiocy required..

Looking for really stupid people to have sex with...

 

[Cathleen]

With the dance coming up in just two weeks I need to find a partner, please no disco moves, no break dancing or the electric slide. I'm looking for Gene Kelley but with such short notice I'll take a Don Knotts type.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Type AB blood required by a very fussy vampire..
Remember, love bites!!!

 

[Cathleen]

Bites are fine on occasion, mine or yours but you should know I have dentures and can't be held responsible for deep wounds. Seeking someone with their own teeth.

 

[wanderer2704]

Teeth are ok but I would prefer someone without who can suck well.

 

[Cathleen]

Well developed sense of humor required, no serious men need apply - they will only become a feast for my quirky mind.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Mind Control!!

Lesson in hypnotism..
Learn how to turn your lover into a slave...

 

[babydoll2u]

Slave driver requires man to do her bidding... in and out of the bedroom! Must be compliant and extremely pliant

 

[LustfulOne50]

Well developed sense of humor required, no serious men need apply - they will only become a feast for my quirky mind.

Mind full of memory boxes stored deep within...I hope we can share those boxes and find that deep love within.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Within this chest beats the heart of a romantic.

Are there any ladies left who are interested?

 

[Gringao]

Interested ladies should contact me now. Me, I'm a randy midget that likes to get freaky with his BBWs. Have my own whip and T-Rex costume.

 

[yesYesYEsYES]

Costume ball comming up...looking for the perfect man to go with...must know the words to "The Lollypop Kids", be able to participate in midget tossing and bowling (I'm not making fun of anyone...please no flames). Must be under 4'10".