Paste!!!

[starrynightin64]

I rear ended a car this morning...

I knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day.

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT happy".

I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's when the fight started!!!

 

[done_got_old]

A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane.

The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?"

The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

 

[Noor]

French Legionnaires Moustache

 

[wally2450]

http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/196423.jpg

 

[tandoor]

Sondergaard urged ITexpo attendees -- who were expected to total 6,000 -- to create two IT budgets. "The first should reflect the same kind of marginal growth prepared over the last six years," he said. "The second should assume the need to cut costs in response to the arrival of a recession."

"He is offering good advice," said Loren Jenkins, a chief financial officer at a mortgage banking firm he didn't want identified.

 

[done_got_old]

Two female military privates were ordered to paint the general's office. They were warned not to get paint on their unifirms so they locked the door, stripped off their clothes and got to work.

An hour later there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" they asked.

"Blind man."

Thinking nothing of it, the women opened the door.

"Hi," said the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

 

[wally2450]

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=546776

 

[Noor]

NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital's Westchester .

 

[tandoor]

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

 

[done_got_old]

http://www.xomba.com/rotten_neighbors_website

 

[wally2450]

http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/196719.gif

 

[tandoor]

http://www.rsa.com/node.aspx?id=2972

 

[lovemonster]

Cheltenham v Nottm Forest,
Gillingham v Millwall,
Leeds v Leyton Orient,
Port Vale v Brighton,
Southend v Crewe,
Yeovil v Carlisle,
Barnet v Mansfield,
Macclesfield v Wrexham,
Notts County v Bury,
Shrewsbury v Chesterfield,

Bonus for Double points, our fave Highland league team makes its first appearance this season.

Fraserburgh v Clachnacuddin

 

[wally2450]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington, D.C.
One is from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works
some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900:
$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official
and whispers, "$2,700".

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!
How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you,
and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!", replies the government official.



And that, my friends, is how it all works !!!

 

[wally2450]

The Top 12 Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn
· During foreplay, he's always double-clicking your G-spot.

· His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.

· When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll down."

· C:\Downloads\Porn\2002\July\03\10PM-11PM\

· Tells everyone he's a pioneer in "palm computing."

· He's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.

· Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.

· When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."

· You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.

· As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.

· During sex, he shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"

· His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you. He pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.

· During sex, she shouts, "More bandwidth!"

 

[tandoor]

http://blog.freeones.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/sativa_rose.jpg

 

[Noor]

www.chestergrosvenor.com

 

[done_got_old]

Humping is what we’re to do today
But now I’m alone and sad
My poor old humper has strayed away
When he returns, I’ll be glad

 

[starrynightin64]

Charlie The Turtle Returns To Gulf

CLEARWATER BEACH - Surrounded by dozens of beachgoers, a 120-pound loggerhead sea turtle nicknamed Charlie Brown returned to the Gulf of Mexico this morning after a trip in the back of a pickup from Clearwater Marine Aquarium.

The rehabilitated turtle, whose age and sex were not known, was found four months ago near Honeymoon Island in an emaciated condition and with a serious infection.

It showed no hesitation today as it crawled toward the surf immediately after volunteers carried it onto the beach.

Within moments, "C.B." disappeared into the Gulf, to the applause of camera-wielding curiosity seekers.

"It's kind of a bittersweet day,'' said David Yates, chief executive officer of the aquarium. "We like releasing turtles back into the wild, but also our staff of volunteers gets attached to the turtles we have. But this is what we're about.''

Loggerheads are listed as threatened species, one step below endangered.

Photo gallery at:
http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/oc.../?news-breaking

 

[wally2450]

http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/199326.gif

 

[done_got_old]

leash

 

[wally2450]

http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/7320VMGVv/199625.gif

 

[frostyred]

http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t31/pennyauckram/catcaptionshaved.jpg

 

[Noor]

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/10/bush-quip-might.html

 

[wally2450]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKh86kOoiWQ