Paste!!!

[wally2450]

There was this girl who lived in New Jersey, and she loved it so much
that she named parts of her body after places in the Garden State.
One night she confided this to her boyfriend as he was beginning to
feel up her right tit. "I bet you call this Mount Pleasant," he said,
and she smiled in assent. Working his hand down her ass, he asked,
"And this?" "I call that Freehole," she said. Getting hot and heavy,
he maneuvered his hand around to the front. "I bet you call this
Cherry Hill," he said triumphantly. "Nope. That's Eatontown."

 

[Daizie]

got in trouble.


Ha ha ha Wally....

 

[done_got_old]

Republican Call Girls

 

[Guest]

 

[Gypsybyrd]

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. click on "get directions"
6. scroll down to step #23

 

[mrtnmoon]

on a sexual/geographical note, my last morning in chicago I realized that I had jacked off in 3 states in the last 5 days. after that dawned on me I thought about stopping in a restroom in indiana to make it a clean sweep, but I was too damn tired and wanted to get home.

 

[wally2450]

Jill, being the "only buy-on-sale shopper," beckoned
to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to
white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said,
"Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that
store dummy over there?"

"That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather
snotty salesman.

"Oh! For $99.95, I could get the same dress at
S. Klein's downtown!"

"But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the
dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is
100% pure virgin wool."

And Jill replied, "So! For $800, I should be caring
what the lambs do at night?"

 

[done_got_old]

The correct way to weigh!
http://www.literacyrules.com/correct%20way.jpg

 

[Sulk]

I propose we turf the pavements

 

[His lil secret]

I have entirely waaaay too much time on my hands lately, so here's another list, this time with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.

If you have ever gone to a play party in curlers and a kerchief, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you count your spankings "1...2...3...the next number...the next number...the next number...", you just might be a redneck sub.

If your safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma", you might just be redneck sub.

If you know what your Mistress expects from you by the way she belches, you just might be a redneck sub.

If your master tells you to fix him a steak, and you start by loading the shotgun, you just might be a redneck sub.

If fulfilling your master's every whim means picking up a 12-pack and changing the TV channels for him, you might just be a redneck sub.

If you have ever been bound and gagged in the bed of a rusty pick up truck, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever tried to brighten the dungeon decor with a pair of pink flamigos, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever had to use your safeword in order to spit tobacco juice, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever used nipple clamps in order to remove tics from master's huntin' dogs, you just might be a redneck sub.

 

[Guest]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AhUcLLEGDBw

 

[wickedlady31]

pasted

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.


And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

 

[PassionatePatty]

122e56

 

[Guest]

Oh have you???

 

[His lil secret]

http://www.geocities.com/differentdelightsla/mayheminmay/frontpage.html

 

[lovemonster]

Yes, I confess I rather like it as well. It feels so wet and warm, so smooth and yet so bumpy.I really should try and get it out though.

 

[Dumpling]

mhhh wonder what I did last
well lets see
https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=746403
mmmmmm oh yeahhhhh this one

 

[wally2450]

Class Reunion

Larry goes to his High School class reunion. Having not
seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very curious as
to who might show up.

When he gets there he runs into Marilyn, his old high
school sweetheart. They sit down and talk about the past.

"How have you been?" he asks.

"I've been fine, just fine," she replies, "Although I
do have some good news and a little bad news, though."

"Bad news first, Marilyn."

"Well, a few weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy."

"Oh my, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that."

"But the good news is the doctor found your old high
school class ring you thought you lost!"

 

[ima6uldv8]

Republican Call Girls

Hilarious! *Steals it for another forum*




INVASION USA

2/3 of immigrants cost Americans $22,449 a year, shows new study

2007 WorldNetDaily.com

WASHINGTON – Someone has finally fixed an approximate taxpayer cost of between 12 million and 15 million illegal aliens residing in the U.S.

A new study by the Heritage Foundation's Robert Rector found a household headed by an individual without a high school education, including about two-thirds of illegal aliens, costs U.S. taxpayers more than $32,000 in federal, state and local benefits. That same family contributes an average of $9,000 a year in taxes, resulting in a net tax burden of $22,449 each year.

Over the course of the household's lifetime that tax burden translates to $1.1 million.

If the lower figure of 12 million illegal aliens is used for estimation purposes, the total tax burden translates to $2.2 trillion.

"Would any of us buy shares in a company that we knew would produce a loss of a million dollars a share," asks Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, in response to the study. "Cheap labor is not cheap at the cost of over a million dollars per head of household."

Rector's study, "The Fiscal Cost of Low-Skill Households to the U.S. Taxpayer," examines the economics of the 17.7 million American households made up of people without a high-school degree. Using numbers from the Census Bureau, the Congressional Research Service, the Bureau of Labor Standards and other government agencies, Rector determined what they earn, what they spend and what they receive in government services.

About half of the 17.7 million households studied are illegal aliens. About two-thirds of illegal alien households are headed by someone without a high school degree. Only 10 percent of native-born Americans fit into that category.

"Over the next ten years the total cost of low-skill households to the taxpayer (immediate benefits minus taxes paid) is likely to be at least $3.9 trillion," Rector writes. "This number would go up significantly if changes in immigration policy lead to substantial increases in the number of low-skill immigrants entering the country and receiving services."

 

[Missingmeds]

xxxxxx@yahoo.com

(edited to protect someone's privacy and to stay in within Lit's rules).

 

[wally2450]

Two Trees



It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word

or two in it, but, here is one:



Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in

the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them,

and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a

beech or a son of a birch?"



The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker

lands on the sapling.



The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.

Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a

birch?"



The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He

replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of

a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have

ever put my pecker in.

 

[MUSDAWG89]

(empty)

 

[PassionatePatty]

IrezumiKiss

 

[done_got_old]

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"



To which the boy replies, "Now we run!

 

[lovemonster]

last of the black and whites